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...My brother and sister in law only come to stay with us without their daughter - our god daughter ( I have no idea why we agreed to this ) as my husband said she can only come and stay when she has learnt to sit still with a book in her hand...
I totally get not wanting to have kids but I find this a bit extreme...not to allow family members to visit with 1 child (who is your goddaughter)..
But I don't think that specific behavior is representative of childfree people (at least not IME)...
I agree. But there are a percentage of people who chose not to have kids due to such self-absorbed reasons. But hey, I wouldn't wish parents like that on any kid, so it's fine with me that they remain childless!
As a woman who never wanted children, then got married and wanted a child couldn't get pregnant and by a miracle had a child, this is my take on things:
It is more selfish to:
A) Have a child to keep a man. More than likely he won't stay and will resent the person.
B) Have more children than financial able and expecting government or others to take care of them i.e. Octomom
C) Have a child whilst on crack, meth or any recreational drug and alcohol with no intention of quitting
You are not selfish.
Live your life, and be happy.
The only problem I have with childless people is when they put it in their head that children are parasites or nuisances, should never be seen or heard. My answer to that is never go out in public. Children are human and learning to hopefully become good outstanding adults.
If you have a problem with babysitting, then don't babysit.
If you don't want a child, its fine too. Feelings can change, mine did but don't be pressured into having a child just because your partner or your family wants one.
I totally get not wanting to have kids but I find this a bit extreme...not to allow family members to visit with 1 child (who is your goddaughter)..
In fairness they were coming to stay in Hong Kong and wanted to explore. I was not going to get landed looking after their 2 year old nor was I going to 'child proof' my home for her. The parents didn't have a great deal of control over here and she was at the touch and pick up stage.....
OK - coming to visit a foreign country for an extended visit with babysitting expected is one thing. Can't visit a state over for a long weekend is another. I was wondering if you had the same rule for spouses you don't care for! LOL
I have friends that have strong maternal instincts and make great moms. Most of them planned at least one of their kids, while others were joyful happenstance. My sister has a super-mom temperament, didn't really care if she ever really had any bio-kids of her own, buts makes a great step-mom. Great moms like this are just awesome... even if I don't grok it internally. I don't grok people who think orange and purple look good together, or like cocunut Sno-Balls, or want to be mathematicians either It takes all kinds!
Me? All my nurturing instincts seem more inclined toward animals and plants. My creative talents aren't the procreative kind I do fine with kids as long as it's not too often (but all people are better when it's not too often LOL) and certainly don't ban them from my presence. I do tend to treat them like little individual people instead of with the special gloves most folks seem to expect when dealing with kids... and sometimes I'm more apt to join them fingerpainting with chocolate syrup and raspberry jelly than to remember to tell them that's not allowed
But I don't think that specific behavior is representative of childfree people (at least not IME)...
I agree, I am probably a bit more extreme than most....
I don't hate children, lots of my friends have them. Thats fine. with friends who have small children I go to their place where it ok to have a heap of toys spread all over and everything is wipedown.....or we go out somewhere. They come to my place for dinner and a relaxing evening away from the children. Most of my friends have full time domestic help so this is easy.
Everyone should be able to make their own decision. All my friends know how I feel about children because at my age the question is always asked..." ohh aren't you leaving it a bit late to start a family?'
Unless people ask I have no reason to discuss children.
I agree, I am probably a bit more extreme than most....
I don't hate children, lots of my friends have them. Thats fine. with friends who have small children I go to their place where it ok to have a heap of toys spread all over and everything is wipedown.....or we go out somewhere. They come to my place for dinner and a relaxing evening away from the children. Most of my friends have full time domestic help so this is easy.
Everyone should be able to make their own decision. All my friends know how I feel about children because at my age the question is always asked..." ohh aren't you leaving it a bit late to start a family?'
Unless people ask I have no reason to discuss children.
Hey whatever floats your boat and works with your circle of friends...
Your earlier post just sounded like your niece/goddaughter was not allowed in your home. You clarified...
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It takes all kinds!
I do fine with kids as long as it's not too often (but all people are better when it's not too often LOL) and certainly don't ban them from my presence. I do tend to treat them like little individual people instead of with the special gloves most folks seem to expect when dealing with kids... and sometimes I'm more apt to join them fingerpainting with chocolate syrup and raspberry jelly than to remember to tell them that's not allowed 
