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All you people that ramble on and on about lying being so bad are a bunch of hypocrites. Everyone lies every day, that is the way of life, and its not really telling of a persons character unless it is done excessively.
As far as when I was a kid? My mom would routinely scream and punish me for lying, when in fact I would tell the truth. One time speaks out specifically, a buddy and myself took off exploring in the woods for 3 hours or so, just hanging out and stuff. When I got home, my mom swore we were out there smoking weed, and we must have been because my eyes didn't look right(or some such thing). Taught me that my parents sure didn't know when the hell I was lying or not.
I want to know what you guys think about kids lying to their parents for various reasons:
-Lying to avoid getting in trouble
-Lying to avoid conflict
-Lying to avoid an argument
-Lying to avoid getting a no answer
-Lying to avoid parents being too involved.
I won't say what's sparking this question but do you ever think it's ok for teens/young adults to lie to their parents for any reason?
And what would you do if you found out your teen/young adult was lying to you for any reason?
And I'm talking about 18 and older here, but i'll include 16 and 17 for kicks and giggles.
It is never a good idea to tell a lie. Don't avoid the truth, deal with it.
To all those folks who inocently stumbled across this thread, DON'T TAKE THE BAIT!!!!This thread will go on forever. Always remember, if the OP isn't fighting with her mother, she is fighting with you.
I want to know what you guys think about kids lying to their parents for various reasons:
-Lying to avoid getting in trouble
-Lying to avoid conflict
-Lying to avoid an argument
-Lying to avoid getting a no answer
-Lying to avoid parents being too involved.
Quote:
Originally Posted by littleelvis
I think the real question is what is lying. I can't believe how many self righteous people post things on this board.
Someone gets a terrible haircut and ask your opinion and you say what?
Wife asks how something looks on her and you say what?
Many of you who posted probably lie on a regular basis but don't consider it lying.
So many of these threads get twisted and taken completely out of context....why...who knows....reading comprehension maybe?
The OP is talking about manipulating lying...not "white lies" to spare someones feelings. Huge difference...start a new thread in another subject area (maybe relationships) if you don't understand the difference. It certainly isn't anything that justifies name calling...
All you people that ramble on and on about lying being so bad are a bunch of hypocrites. Everyone lies every day, that is the way of life, and its not really telling of a persons character unless it is done excessively.
As far as when I was a kid? My mom would routinely scream and punish me for lying, when in fact I would tell the truth. One time speaks out specifically, a buddy and myself took off exploring in the woods for 3 hours or so, just hanging out and stuff. When I got home, my mom swore we were out there smoking weed, and we must have been because my eyes didn't look right(or some such thing). Taught me that my parents sure didn't know when the hell I was lying or not.
Lying every day as a way of life...maybe for you but not for me. Where does excess begin when lying every day is normal to you? A white lie to spare one's feelings is one thing, but as a way of life...you might need counseling. OP is lying to avoid dealing with her mother in an adult and mature manner....she also might need counseling.
I want to know what you guys think about kids lying to their parents for various reasons:
-Lying to avoid getting in trouble
-Lying to avoid conflict
-Lying to avoid an argument
-Lying to avoid getting a no answer
-Lying to avoid parents being too involved.
I won't say what's sparking this question but do you ever think it's ok for teens/young adults to lie to their parents for any reason?
And what would you do if you found out your teen/young adult was lying to you for any reason?
And I'm talking about 18 and older here, but i'll include 16 and 17 for kicks and giggles.
No it is never permissable for children to lie to their parents. Do they? Of course.
Children and teens do not understand the concept of personal responsibility and character, thus they lie because they do not understand the real long-term consequences but rather focus on the short term avoidance of pain (repremand, arguement, etc...).
Children must be taught the value of honesty, of character, of self-accountability. Without learning these virtues they will be likely to be untrustworthy and irresponsible members of society continuing to lie throughout adulthood.
The parental gold standard of hypocrisy "Do as I say, not as I do." Sets an example that it is ok to be dishonest, lie, or have two sets of standards for behavior. Peer pressure and watching friends lie without consequence is a huge obstruction to overcome.
Yes. You are not a kid...you are 21 years old for pete's sake. As an adult you ought to be able to handle difficult situations without lying.
That you can't do that does reflect a weakness in character and lack of maturity.
Don't bring me into this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by renovating
So your child does something wrong but because they tell you...there is no consequence???
Here's a thought....if you have to lie about it....don't do it...
A liar is a liar......no one to blame but themselves.
So if an asian daughter grows up is in college and lives at home but pays her way and starts dating a white guy and her traditional asian mother wants her to date an asian guy and so she keeps her relationship a secret so her she doesn't have to deal with the screaming, nagging and relationship ruining mother, she just shouldn't date and risk losing out on a good relationship?
BTW im white not asian so not about me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momma_bear
I assumed the OP is talking about substantive lying. I think everyone recognizes the need for "little white lies" every now and then.
Thank you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zonababe
It is never a good idea to tell a lie. Don't avoid the truth, deal with it.
To all those folks who inocently stumbled across this thread, DON'T TAKE THE BAIT!!!!This thread will go on forever. Always remember, if the OP isn't fighting with her mother, she is fighting with you.
This thread is about lying.
I am not fighting with anyone.
I simply asked for an opinion on lying, this is NOT about me this is a group discussion. If you can't simply talk about this topic and discuss it like the rest of us are doing then please don't read any further.
I want to know what you guys think about kids lying to their parents for various reasons:
-Lying to avoid getting in trouble
-Lying to avoid conflict
-Lying to avoid an argument
-Lying to avoid getting a no answer
-Lying to avoid parents being too involved.
I won't say what's sparking this question but do you ever think it's ok for teens/young adults to lie to their parents for any reason?
And what would you do if you found out your teen/young adult was lying to you for any reason?
And I'm talking about 18 and older here, but i'll include 16 and 17 for kicks and giggles.
If we're talking about an adult child living in his or her own home, I would expect the social lies one offers a friend:
"no, everything's okay, really"
"gee, there's somebody at the door" instead of "you're irritating, please let me hang up now"
"no, I didn't know that" instead of "yes, she told me three weeks ago, where have you been?"
Aside from that I don't think there needs to be a reason for lies, and I try not to put independent adults living on their own in that position.
Since we are no doubt not talking about offspring living on his or her own, I will say I would be righteously peeved if my child lied to me, no matter what cockamamie justifications she came up with after the fact.
I totally disagree. I strongly believe a lying child speaks to the character of the parents.
My parents raised us to tell the truth, by not punishing us if we told the truth.
The problem I have with this is that too many people look at it as a "get out of jail free" card:
"Why should I be punished for taking the car without asking and joyriding with six friends? I admitted to it when I got caught."
Not in this house. You do the crime, you experience consequences. If you lie, you get more consequences.
And having worked detox, I'm pretty good at catching out lying, at least face-to-face. (On the internet, of course, txtqueen could be Suri Cruise, and who the heck knows?)
All you people that ramble on and on about lying being so bad are a bunch of hypocrites. Everyone lies every day, that is the way of life, and its not really telling of a persons character unless it is done excessively.
"Everyone"? No.
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