Being outnumbered by little people (wakes up, newborn, sucking, parents)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Are any of you here outnumbered, ie have more (small) kids than adults in the house? We are- we have have boy/ girl twins almost 2.5 years old, and a 4 month old daughter- and wile I always wanted a lot of kids, I find now that some practicalities are difficult to manage, even little things such as baby nursing and one or both twins wanting snuggle. I am looking for all kinds of advice and and anecdotes!
Our main issue right now- and going forward for quite a while I suspect- is bed time/ night wake ups. The twins sleep in their own rooms, and the baby co-sleeps with us (well, with me mostly as husband has insomnia and is often up late). What we do for bed right now is that we sing a few lullabies and pray in the living room, then husband puts our older daughter to sleep while I am with the boy and baby, and then he comes to get the boy to put him to bed (because baby is awake around twins bedtime, and so I cannot help put a twin to bed as baby would be fussy/ wake twin when almost asleep). Baby goes to bed with me shortly after as I am usually exhausted. I am not sure how to handle this when baby gets a bit older... three different bedtimes? Same bedtime for everyone? Put baby to bed and hope she doesn't wake while we put twins to bed?
The twins used to sleep through, but don't anymore since almost when the baby is born. They often want to be awake and talk or play for an hour or more at night, even though we spend plenty of time with them during the day (husband is unemployed and I work part time from home, they also go to a playschool two mornings a week). We find it hard not to give in, especially when husband is up anyways, as when we play hardball, they cry, waking up the other twin and usually baby too, and then getting three back to sleep is almost impossible.
Raises hand....We're outnumbered. I have a 7 year old son, 2yr and 8 month old girl and an almost 9 month old baby girl. I am exhausted too. i think you have it tougher though as your kids are all younger than mine. I seriously don't know how you do it with twins.
My 7 year old finally goes to sleep on his won in his own bed. He doesn't even need to be tucked in. I suffered for 6 years though. I alwasy had to lie down next to him until he fell asleep. For 6 years he was addicted to sucking on a receiving blanket. He gave it up on his own thank goodness and he wasn't particular about which blanket he sucked on. He has always been my most difficult child so far. He loves his sisters but often fights with the 2 year old.
I had to rock my 2 year old to sleep until she no longer wanted me to do it at 2 1/2 but now I have to lie down next to her until she falls asleep.She is not a good sleeper as she wakes up often at night.
My baby so far doesn't want to be rocked at all. She prefers to be put in her crin when drowsy and likes to fall asleep on her own. Up until I had my third I thought babies like this were afigment of the imagination. I hope a she continues to do this.
So basically I'm as overwhelmed as you are.
Don't have any advice just my own experience to share and to let you know you are not alone on this crazy ride.
We have 5 kids. (twin girls, girl, boy. boy). We had as many as three at a time in diapers. A couple of sugestions:
1. Once you are outnumbered, it makes no difference. If you have three, you may as well go to five or six or nine.
2. Older ones help with smaller ones. With our youngest boy, I never had to change a diaper. The twins actually wanted to do it.
3. We got this advice from a great pediatrician who had seven kids of her own: You come first. If you run yourself ragged, you will be unhealthy, unhappy and unpleasant. You put them on YOUR schedule, not the other way around. They eat when it works for you, sleep when it works for you, only potty must be done on their schedule. It can be a bit of work, and a bit noisey to get them on your scheudle, but it is worth it. Sometimes you will have to wake them up and keep them up to get them to sleep at the right time.
4. Also from the same pediatrician - As to babies: Babies cry. Get over it. Sometimes you just have to let them cry (first make certain that nothing serious is wrong).
5. If you get the older kids to help with and learn to care for and watch the younger ones, it can work very nicely. You cannot leave a 6 year old watching a 3 4 and 1 year old, but they can watch them while you shower, nal nearby, read a book, etc. As long as all they need to do is to report to you quickly, they cna handle it.
Get that baby out of your bedroom. That is horrible for you. (Also see number 4 above). No wonder your husband has insomia. We tried that for about three days. Are you kidding?
Once in a while we had a "sleepover" in our bedroom and the kids all sleep with us, but the rest of the time, our room is off limited after bedtime except in an emergency like a really scary nightmare. Otherwise they ar eperfectly capable of picking up the sippy cup next to their bed and getting a drink of water.
I only have two children, but one of the best things that I ever did was help my girls learn how to entertain themselves. Don't rely on the television and don't be the television. Also, take care of yourself. If the baby has to cry in the crib for 10 minutes while you take a shower, take the shower. And whatever you do, do not get in the habit of lying down with your children until they fall asleep. I don't know a parent who's done this and hasn't regretted it. My nephew is eight, and he still can't fall asleep by himself.
I only have two children, but one of the best things that I ever did was help my girls learn how to entertain themselves. Don't rely on the television and don't be the television. Also, take care of yourself. If the baby has to cry in the crib for 10 minutes while you take a shower, take the shower. And whatever you do, do not get in the habit of lying down with your children until they fall asleep. I don't know a parent who's done this and hasn't regretted it. My nephew is eight, and he still can't fall asleep by himself.
I did this with my son and he is now 7 and goes to bed by himself. He doesn't even need to be tucked in now. While I agree its not the best thing to do some children need to have their parents there beside them. My son finally outgrew that need.
We have 5 kids. (twin girls, girl, boy. boy). We had as many as three at a time in diapers. A couple of sugestions:
1. Once you are outnumbered, it makes no difference. If you have three, you may as well go to five or six or nine.
2. Older ones help with smaller ones. With our youngest boy, I never had to change a diaper. The twins actually wanted to do it.
3. We got this advice from a great pediatrician who had seven kids of her own: You come first. If you run yourself ragged, you will be unhealthy, unhappy and unpleasant. You put them on YOUR schedule, not the other way around. They eat when it works for you, sleep when it works for you, only potty must be done on their schedule. It can be a bit of work, and a bit noisey to get them on your scheudle, but it is worth it. Sometimes you will have to wake them up and keep them up to get them to sleep at the right time.
4. Also from the same pediatrician - As to babies: Babies cry. Get over it. Sometimes you just have to let them cry (first make certain that nothing serious is wrong).
5. If you get the older kids to help with and learn to care for and watch the younger ones, it can work very nicely. You cannot leave a 6 year old watching a 3 4 and 1 year old, but they can watch them while you shower, nal nearby, read a book, etc. As long as all they need to do is to report to you quickly, they cna handle it.
Get that baby out of your bedroom. That is horrible for you. (Also see number 4 above). No wonder your husband has insomia. We tried that for about three days. Are you kidding?
Once in a while we had a "sleepover" in our bedroom and the kids all sleep with us, but the rest of the time, our room is off limited after bedtime except in an emergency like a really scary nightmare. Otherwise they ar eperfectly capable of picking up the sippy cup next to their bed and getting a drink of water.
Great post!!! We have 3 boys (6,5,3) and a new girl (3 months)! We had a pediatrician tell us with our first to let a baby cry for 30 minutes before you get them at night. Kids need a schedule. It throws the family off on weekends during the school year when I'm home and not working. We're kinda hanging on some days, but always counting our blessings.
My sister and I would "team up" on my mom when my dad was at work. We had a number of "pranks" we would pull. Our favorites included "tickling mom while she is looking in the fridge" and what I now call "mail order child" where I would put my sister in a box on the front porch, ring the bell, come back inside and claim there was a package at the door. Not to mention the box wasnt sealed and had not address or shipping information on it. In our opinion it was the most clever thing ever.
Are any of you here outnumbered, ie have more (small) kids than adults in the house?
Our main issue right now- and going forward for quite a while I suspect- is bed time/ night wake ups. .
4yr old, 2 yr old, newborn.
DH is not available for bedtime/night wake ups or morning wakeups
4yr old & 2yr old share a room.
Routine: bath, quiet time w/ movie & snack, book time & then prayers. #1 is a breeze now during bedtime. #2 plays a little get up, needs juice/water/needs to go to the bathroom...something for attention. Nursing #3 so of course this happens during that time & on it goes.
I don't say much to #2; no need to engage in conversation. He goes back to bed quite easily.
Personally, I wish I had help in the AM. I've done the nighttime routine solo for 3 yrs & find consistency & their involvement in the routine (they each pick a book or two for me to read) to be key! (keep in mind, at these ages, so many little things do & will come up to interupt routine & that is ok)
As for night wakeups, you need to id the cause & go from there. #1 & #2 wake up to go potty & many nights want me there. Other times it could be a bad dream; restlessness; cold or so on. If it is just waking up to get mommy/daddy in the room, that just needs to be addressed & taken care of asap. I went through it w/ #2 for about a month or so. FOund him sharing a room w/ his brother to help a ton.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
