Whats your worst fart moments?!

[TN Tin Man]

Those that feel like a box of razor blades just opened... and your sitting on that box.... and your in the first row in church... during the most quiet time ever..

[UsAll]

I had posted this story in a 2011 C-D thread started by its OP which he titled "When a women farts in front of me, its a TOTAL turn-off!!!!". My posting that you will see below was dated 6/6/2011. Note that the true story that I shared (as seen below) wasn't posted by myself, in the context of the original thread, merely for its humor but to make a larger point that I try to not hold it against someone (even if that someone is a woman . . . and I am a man) for inadvertently and unavoidably having a bodily event such as passing gas occur at an inopportune time for her. The referenced priorly-posted story reads as follows (slightly edited from the original posting for grammar and clarity-of-thought):

An amusing and true story to share with you:

Around 30 years ago (either 1981 or 1982), I was taking a municipal transit authority bus in the U.S. metro area I lived in from the city's downtown to a small college campus in the northern suburbs about 12 miles north of the city’s downtown (perhaps a 30-40-minute bus ride) and the ONLY passengers on the bus were myself (then a young male in my later 20s) and a very attractive, lovely, poised, and shapely young blond woman (likely 19-21 in age, though I don't know for sure) who was dressed very well and stylishly. She was going up to the campus for an admissions interview, I believe. We were both sitting in the middle of the bus near one another and talking on this trip up to the college campus (and again, we were the only passengers in the entire bus). I noticed she had a lovely fragrance (perfume) that she was obviously wearing and I said something to her like “Hmm, I love that smell or fragrance. What is that called?” And at just about the exact same time that those words were forming and coming out of my mouth, I noticed a very strong horrid odor permeating the air all around us. It was obvious that she had silently passed gas and it was very, very strong. Yet I played totally cool and, as I was saying ““Hmm, I love that smell or fragrance. What is that called?” while noticing this horrid odor permeating the air all around us, she seemed somewhat meek and said something like “It’s ‘Chanel’s Unspoken’” or “It’s called “Evening in Paris’” or however she responded (I don’t exactly remember her exact words, years later). I didn’t mention or bring up her obvious odorous emission AT ALL and didn’t show any sign that I noticed it AT ALL (though who wouldn’t notice it unless your sense of smell was severely damaged or unless you had died?!!???), and, in the same time frame of said horrid odor of hers permeated the atmosphere all around us (alongside her perfume odor), I was in the midst of complimenting her on how she smelled and said that I loved it and how wonderful it was! I mean, is that magical timing or what? It was obviously very good fortune for her to have her fragrance/perfume that she was wearing at the time to take at least some of the spotlight off of her odorous emission (though I would have never, ever mentioned it nor shown any sign that I noticed it at all). And at that point, the bus arrived at the college campus and I cheerfully wished her the very best in her interview and we departed. And you know what? Despite that odorous episode, I found her lovely and attractive and would have made out with and made love with her anytime. She still had all her feminine, womanly appeal and had a sweet personality.

You see, people, I am a mature and intelligent person who is not flustered by such things (whether at a young age such as my teens or 20s or whether now as a 57-year-old man . . . being on the precipice of the senior years). If I have an aversion to or hangup regarding certain physical bodily functions (like I used to have regarding people blowing their nose in front of me . . . with all the mucus, snot, et al being heard while they were blowing), I rationally think it through and acknowledge to myself that you can’t reasonably hold others to a standard that you yourself can't necessarily always live up to and deliver on as well and that you can’t reasonably hold people’s biological functions against them (after all, we didn’t create ourselves or make ourselves this way; it is how we were all made and you have to accommodate and live with it) and then I drop the hangup of mine and learn to accept such biological functions as part of the natural order (i.e., this is how we were all created to be by our Creator or by nature . . . whatever it is you believe as to how we all got here and how and why we are the way we are). I move on from it to the next preoccupation and learn to still recognize the inherent attractiveness and appeal of the woman -- if she, in fact, has whatever degree of attractiveness and appeal in the first place (after all, don’t YOU want or hope for the opposite-sex person you are with to be forgiving and accepting of you for YOUR inadvertent or unplanned biological episode that occurs or may occur and hope that they shall not lose all feelings of appeal and attraction toward YOU because of it?). In summary, I try to always treat people the same way that I would want to be treated (as best as I can, though we might all come up short at some time or other).

[picklejuice]

I was once at a funeral where someone let one fly.

I think everyone present, including the deceased, suffered burns to their naval cavities.

It was that bad!

[Luckystrike1]

Many years ago I had a job that I loved but didn't like the boss. One day I had to a terrible gas bubble, and when I felt 100% confident that no one was around I carefully expelled one of those silent but deadly ones that could kill a wildebeast! My boss came to my desk to talk to me at the worst moment! Embarrasing.

[UsAll]

Originally Posted by TN Tin Man

I drove Bus professionally for over 20 years... knowing you have upwards of 60 people sitting behind you I understand

And when you "let one go" while driving the bus and they all knew it was you, they pointed at you and exclaimed "You're busted!"


(What can I say? I'm a real punny guy!)