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Did you ever fart when you were outside for a long time on a cold winter day and then come into a warm room hours later and noticed the smell of your fart thawing out ?
to this thread! Can't we talk of pleasant things instead... how's your weather... oh you say it is ... smelly??
Okay, a little story of my own. I was in a cafateria, was getting up when two quick farts happened (no idea they were going to happen as I moved my body) in front of another person. She complained loudy, before I could catch my breath to say one word on the subject... I didn't say anything since she continued her joking and complaints. If you don't give me space, I'm not going to play nice!
I live alone. Ever since I read / answered this post I have been working on not offending myself with -cough-cough-you know what I'm talking about! I didn't have this problem before. Never worried before as mentioned I am alone most of the time. So I would just let it rip! But now you all are staring at me ready to give me the stink eye. I just have one thing to say. Stop it!!
The highlight of my farting career was when I was a schoolboy. We used to gather in a room in the house block. There were six of these small buildings, housing all the kids. I remember the name of mine was 'Lancaster House.' They always say long term memory is the last thing to go.......
Anyway, we were all gathered for the morning pep talk. I sat among the other kids. I think I was about 12 years old. The teacher was droning on about something or other. Right in the middle of his uplifting speech, I let go with a ripper. It resonated in the small room.
The speech giving teacher went red in the face, and spat, "who was that boy?" My immediate thought was, "how's he know it was a boy?" The whole gang of kids erupted in laughter, and the most near me, moved their upper bodies away from the stink.
My house head was trying to stop himself laughing. He said, "David...... go to my office." As I got up, another one blasted out. Trapped wind........ The whole place was in uproar. I stalked out in shame. I made my way to the house head's office. Once inside, I let go with another one. I must have had mushy peas or something the night before.
I sat awaiting my punishment. The house head eventually arrived. He walked in, and opened his window. He intended telling me off, but couldn't stop laughing. He said, stay here for a few minutes, then go on to your classes." I did, then got up and left, leaving yet another fart behind me.........happy days.....
May not be direct answer because it wasn't "my fart" but was still a priceless moment.
In November 1988 I was at oral argument before a Manhattan bankruptcy judge. My opposing lawyer was asked to approach the bench because of some major deficiencies in the handling of his client's case. As he approached, he cut a loud fart.
The back-story was that he represented the Debtor and I represented a major creditor. In those days a debtor had to seek an extension, within 60 days of the filing, of the time to assume or reject a lease. On Day #58 I noticed that no such request had been made, by motion or otherwise, I handed in a scheduling order with a "carry" clause on behalf of the debtor, so that my client's hope of recovery wouldn't be eliminated because of the inevitable surrender of the restaurant premises to the landlord. The judge, who normally had a dislike of scheduling orders, signed it and said (just before the fart) "there should be more of this kind of order" and castigated the debtor's lawyer for his obvious neglect.
Many years ago we had a dog, and that dog had eaten something that had given him gas. He was farting loudly and it stank, I would scold him and chase him out of the room to his own room when he did it. A day or so later everyone was in the living room and the dog, when My wife let loose a loud one. The dog immediately got up and left the room and went to his own room. I suppose he didn't want to get blamed for something he didn't do, or perhaps he didn't understand why I was scolding him.
Anytime I eat pancakes or Louisiana Fried Chicken (fast food franchise in SoCal) = *insert stank face image here*
Seems like the foods I love are the ones that blow up my guts and cause me to cut one every few minutes. (blech)
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to this thread! Can't we talk of pleasant things instead... how's your weather... oh you say it is ... smelly?? 
I just have one thing to say. Stop it!! 
May Not be Direct Answer but...
*insert stank face image here*
