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Of course there are obvious rules such as: Don't break anything. Don't be loud at 1AM. Don't invite sketchy people/hard drug users over. Don't steal the other person's food.
But Covid has made me aware of a major dealbreaker. People who stay at home all day. I'm talking about the people who work from home and then spend most of their free time home too, and maybe only take an hour out of the day to go out for groceries and whatnot. Except covid is over and many people are still continuing their lockdown lifestyle.
It's infuriating to never have alone time. I feel like I may as well be living with my parents.
Having a roommate is something I would find intolerable. I would -and have done- work three jobs if I have to- to avoid it.
However I know a lot of people live this way - with a housemate or two. I am so protective of my solitude it makes me shudder, but hopefully the Op might get some useful advice here about how to deal with a housemate who never goes out. Maybe you can give more detail:
Is the housemate noisy? messy? Does s/he do annoying things? Or is the only problem the fact that s/he is always there?
Does s/he stay in her bedroom? or spread out all over the house? Do you have a time share arrangement with things like kitchen and living room?
Does she pay her bills and share of the rent on time? Are you both on the lease? Do you HAVE to house share?
Was this person your roommate before covid? Did they go out much before Covid? Covid actually isn't over although the variants are much milder (although more contagious) and the majority of people have given up on precautions. But taking Covid out of the picture - did your roommate ever do much away from home? Does your roommate have friends? If they are friendless they may not spend much time out do to not having anyone to do things with.
Do you have to have a roommate? If so, do you have any friends that would be a better fit?
I haven't had a roommate in years, nor do I want one, but the biggest necessity is compatibility. Having respect for each other's needs and differences and setting boundaries that you share regarding noise, cleanliness, guests, etc. Two people can be really good friends, but be terrible roommates.
Of course there are obvious rules such as: Don't break anything. Don't be loud at 1AM. Don't invite sketchy people/hard drug users over. Don't steal the other person's food.
But Covid has made me aware of a major dealbreaker. People who stay at home all day. I'm talking about the people who work from home and then spend most of their free time home too, and maybe only take an hour out of the day to go out for groceries and whatnot. Except covid is over and many people are still continuing their lockdown lifestyle.
It's infuriating to never have alone time. I feel like I may as well be living with my parents.
Whenever I had roommates back in the day I created alone time and made my bedroom my go to place to read, listen to music and watch my tv.
Of course there are obvious rules such as: Don't break anything. Don't be loud at 1AM. Don't invite sketchy people/hard drug users over. Don't steal the other person's food.
But Covid has made me aware of a major dealbreaker. People who stay at home all day. I'm talking about the people who work from home and then spend most of their free time home too, and maybe only take an hour out of the day to go out for groceries and whatnot. Except covid is over and many people are still continuing their lockdown lifestyle.
It's infuriating to never have alone time. I feel like I may as well be living with my parents.
You have a roommate. If he pays his rent on time, is clean and quiet, he can stay 24 hrs at home and you can do nothing against it. if you want to be alone YOU go out or MOVE.
I have never read in an ad..."MUST leave the house for at least 4 hours per day, so that I can be alone." Ridiculous.
Whenever I had roommates back in the day I created alone time and made my bedroom my go to place to read, listen to music and watch my tv.
This is exactly what my first and only roommate and I did. We both worked and went to school on similar schedules, so we were typically home at the same time. Sure, we'd run into each other in the common areas of the apartment, but with his room at the back of the apartment and mine at the front, there was still plenty of privacy to be had. It was definitely not like still living with my parents as other than not being slobs and being considerate and responsible, there weren't any house rules to be followed.
Ditto with the "paying houseguest" who I had living with me in my house for nearly three years. We were both kind of homebodies to a degree even prior to COVID, so it wasn't unusual for us to be home at the same time. He mostly hung out in his room, sleeping, toking (heh), watching t.v. and gaming. It was very rare for me to go into his space, so it worked for us, although it was sometimes a bit awkward for my boyfriend when he'd spend the night and have the houseguest and sometimes a guest of his own wander down around brunch time, lured by the scent of food and coffee wafting upstairs.
Both living situations worked out well as both paid their rent on time, were neat in the shared areas, weren't overly noisy during normal sleeping hours (although one would game until the wee hours with headphones on) and weren't active partiers (at least "on campus," so to speak).
All of this aside, I generally have set up my life in such as a way as to not need roommates as I do enjoy having my own space.
I've owned for many years but back in the day it was slob roommates. We had one that refused to do his own dishes.
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