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I have a group of around a dozen friends most of whom I've known since undergrad days 10-15 years ago. most have gotten married/gf over the past 5-7 years, so i've only known their SO for around that long. we used to hang out more when we were younger. over the years less and less since people usually are busy doing their own thing with their jobs/families. We all get together a handful of times per year. there are some in the group that have closer bonds and hang out more often.
as the years go by, the feelings grow stronger that i don't fit in for several reasons: due to my introverted nature I am quiet; they have hobbies which i don't participate in, i tried but just cant get into them. It seems they tolerate me being there, none have acted unkindly to me, and i don't see them that often anyway, but still i always feel like the odd one out and causing awkwardness. I know it has to do with flaws with me rather than with any of them. i can come off as boring, not interesting, lack of hobbies/interests, social skills (maybe i'm slightly autistic? Never went to MD to diagnose). Of course i try to be "normal" as possible. I always try to ask them about themselves to avoid talking about myself.
I try to attend every get together if it doesn't conflict with my schedule, but lately its been a struggle to force myself to go because i wonder what value i add to the group. i know if i avoid them and go MIA , it will not improve my relationships with them, but i feel like if i go i am not improving my relationships either. also there is only like 1 or 2 singles left including myself, while the rest are attached, so that is another reason why i am not eager to go sometimes.
Not sure what to do or what i'm asking for here; i'm sure i'll be able to force myself to go to the next gathering, but i usually don't feel good about myself afterwards. i guess what it comes down to i am just uncomfortable in my own skin, and not sure if i should continue dragging on these friendships if im not improving myself.
You seem to feel that you are somehow lacking in personality and not “comfortable in your own skin.” If that’s the case, it really isn’t this group of young women that’s the core of the issue.
Work on improving yourself.
Don't drag others around. You don't have to go to anymore gatherings you know you won't get much out of since you gave it a chance.
Consider a therapist and also look for other people and groups you have more in common with.
Don't reject the friends you have now. You could invite them to some of the other gatherings or events you go to possibly too.
Don't go there if you don't have fun. Absolutely no reason why you need to be with them if you don't like it. If you don't want to lose contact you could pick out some people you have a connection with and meet them for a one on one activity that you both enjoy. Or you bring someone with you to those events so you have this person for comfort there.
Nevermind what value you bring. What do you get from them? If you are not genuinely enjoying your friends, there is no need to hang onto the friendship.
I do wonder if your single-minded focus on yourself is the actual problem.
I have a group of around a dozen friends most of whom I've known since undergrad days 10-15 years ago. most have gotten married/gf over the past 5-7 years, so i've only known their SO for around that long. we used to hang out more when we were younger. over the years less and less since people usually are busy doing their own thing with their jobs/families. We all get together a handful of times per year. there are some in the group that have closer bonds and hang out more often.
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People change a lot, a LOT, after college. I hung out with a few college friends for a year or two after graduation, and within our group one joined a cult, another one started running for a public office, and the other ones got married and started having kids. Everyone's lives changed drastically.
Almost every single and unattached person that I have spoken to about this phenomenon feels that their married friends generally make them feel unwelcome.
You are probably best served finding friends in a similar phase of life as your own.
How old are you? I'm 31, and I know what you're talking about and also know how you're feeling. Once you hit 25, everything changes with your friendships. People's interests change, and the things they may used to deem important might not be a priority for them anymore. As you get closer to 30, you begin to have a better understanding/idea of what it is you want in life. For me, going out to the clubs turned into going to nice little bars or pubs, especially with live music. A "wild Saturday night" for some of us is having some friends over for dinner and drinks, and maybe sitting outside in the backyard by the fire pit. Midnight means it's time for bed, instead of calling it a night a 3 AM. People start their careers, or decide on their career choice.
Some people get married, have a family, and the entire dynamic changes even more. I struggled with this for awhile and continue to do so, although I am much better with it than I was before. I had a solid crew of good friends who always hung out every weekend, whether it be for a cookout, going to the movies, the club/bar, parties, etc. Then one of them moved to a town 40 minutes away and we didn't see him too often. He met a nice girl, and eventually got married. Now we only see him for other friend's weddings, or when we celebrated another friend's 30th birthday. Another friend excelled in his career and it takes up a lot of his time. And the other game changer is as we get older, we begin to realize we don't have a lot of the same common interests with them as we once did, and those relationships slowly begin to fade out.
It's OK if you don't have the same interests or hobbies as your friends. Some of them may have just gotten into these hobbies, and they might not be for everyone. But that's OK! It doesn't make you a bad friend; you like what you like and sometimes it's not what they enjoy. It also gets harder to hangout with friends when they're in a relationship and you're single. Sadly, society has painted this ugly picture that couples can't hang out with singles until they find their SO. Some people may hate being a third wheel, but I never understood the couples that have single friends who don't mind because they enjoy their friend's company, yet because they are single, they no longer fit the mold for friendship material. It started to happen to me. Hell, one of my friends rushed back to me the moment he and his fiancee saw that I finally started dating someone. I told him if they couldn't enjoy my company as a single man, then they don't deserve it now that I found an amazing woman. Me being single or not doesn't define who I am, my character does.
Even now, my best friend who recently got married no longer tries to hangout and do a "guys day" type of thing. Now it's, "Hey man, you down to hangout this weekend? Me and the wife would love to get together." Even when I tell him, "Dude, we haven't hung out just you and me in awhile! Let's go do x,y, and z this weekend!" He replies saying he agrees and is down, yet the wife always ends up tagging along. I don't think you need therapy for this. I think you're beginning to realize that you're all getting older, and your views, outlook on life, and hobbies, are starting to not align with theirs. You also don't have to like/do everything your friends do. I would take a step back and see who you really click with in your group of friends, and hang out with the ones that vibrate on the same frequency as you. You might also need to accept the fact that you'll probably have to start making some new friends as well. If you get into a relationship, you'll befriend your better half's friends.
As I began to lose/cut out people from my life, I gained a handful of new friends from being with my girlfriend. In the beginning, I bumped heads with some of them, but we all get along now and I really enjoy their company and always look forward to seeing them. Sorry for the essay, but I hope what I said helps. Take it one day at a time.
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I don't think you need therapy for this. I think you're beginning to realize that you're all getting older, and your views, outlook on life, and hobbies, are starting to not align with theirs. You also don't have to like/do everything your friends do. I would take a step back and see who you really click with in your group of friends, and hang out with the ones that vibrate on the same frequency as you. You might also need to accept the fact that you'll probably have to start making some new friends as well. If you get into a relationship, you'll befriend your better half's friends. 
