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There is no excuse for someone not thanking someone else for a gift, hand-crafted, or not.
But I think hand-crafted gifts are inappropriate, because of the "taste" factor - not everyone is going to love the colors you picked, for instance. Save those projects for yourself and your household.
(The exception would be knitting beanies or blankets for homeless people).
Yep, and I've preached that exact thing in at least 4 threads in this subforum.
Here's one
Quote:
Originally Posted by BirdieBelle
I guess I will type what I always type in these threads: Remember the point of a GIFT.
A gift is supposed to be willingly given without expectation of payment. If you're giving her a gift to congratulate her on the basis of YOUR feelings toward her and your pride in her accomplishment, you should continue to do so and be glad you did that.
If, however, you believe that GIFTS are given with strings attached, then go ahead and cease all gift-giving to her going forward. The fact that she didn't write you a note doesn't automatically mean she didn't appreciate it. It mostly speaks to her upbringing, her concept of etiquette, and her attention to detail.
I'm not saying her omission is in any way correct. I'm just saying you shouldn't necessarily flounce off in a huff because of this.
A gift should not have strings attached, even as a thank you. Give it and be done. Our own expectations often ruin our experiences.
Even so, our societal conventions demand otherwise. Some would say common courtesy isn't so common anymore.
Societal conventions are dependent on location I think. When my daughter attends parties in communities that are more tight-knit and upper middle class, they always send thank you notes in the mail. The children from other communities never send thank you notes. They say thank you at the party and there is no follow up unless they really liked the gift.
Generally, people don't like the gifts I give them so I stopped doing that and instead give gift cards.
I stopped giving gifts to my nephews. I figure if they don't acknowledge the gift, they didn't like it and there is no reason for me to spend money buying things they don't like. I assume that they never noticed when the gifts stopped because no one ever said anything about it.
In fact, they never acknowledged me in any way, not even in person, so I eventually just took them out of my will. I can't see any reason to leave money to people who refuse to have any sort of relationship with me at all.
Well, one of them did send me a wedding announcement with a note that they didn't want me to come to the wedding but enclosed a list of the gifts that they wanted to receive. That really was the last straw.
I stopped giving gifts to my nephews. I figure if they don't acknowledge the gift, they didn't like it and there is no reason for me to spend money buying things they don't like. I assume that they never noticed when the gifts stopped because no one ever said anything about it.
In fact, they never acknowledged me in any way, not even in person, so I eventually just took them out of my will. I can't see any reason to leave money to people who refuse to have any sort of relationship with me at all.
Well, one of them did send me a wedding announcement with a note that they didn't want me to come to the wedding but enclosed a list of the gifts that they wanted to receive. That really was the last straw.
I would say that the bolded would be unbelievable -- except, unfortunately, I do believe it, based on the number of anecdotes I have read about this kind of thing.
I stopped giving gifts to my nephews. I figure if they don't acknowledge the gift, they didn't like it and there is no reason for me to spend money buying things they don't like. I assume that they never noticed when the gifts stopped because no one ever said anything about it.
In fact, they never acknowledged me in any way, not even in person, so I eventually just took them out of my will. I can't see any reason to leave money to people who refuse to have any sort of relationship with me at all.
Well, one of them did send me a wedding announcement with a note that they didn't want me to come to the wedding but enclosed a list of the gifts that they wanted to receive. That really was the last straw.
Who knows when and how the grandmother delivered the blanket and if the child had not outgrown it by then? Was it gift wrapped with a card/note or handed over in a grocery bag?
I would say that the bolded would be unbelievable -- except, unfortunately, I do believe it, based on the number of anecdotes I have read about this kind of thing.
Maybe they meant that they didn't expect her to attend. Didn't want her to feel that she was obligated.
Sometimes people go to these events because they think they have to go and then complain the whole time...
1. New baby avalanche...parents overwhelmed and maybe not managing everything all that well. Things like courtesy got lost in the shuffle. Maybe they received multiple blankets as gifts and lost track of the givers. That happened to co-worker friends once. When their first baby arrived they received something like 8 home made baby blankets and they didn't realize until too late they had lost track of who made what.
2. Possibly a disconnect between new parents and grandparents: parents thought their thanks were transmitted to you via the grandparents. Grandparents thought the new parents thanked you directly. Both sides thought the other had responded but in reality no one ended up doing so.
3. Then there's what other people suggested...no manners.
Per the bolded --- When that happens, just write a note saying "thank you for your gift". It's better than not acknowledging the sender's gift.
When my brother and SIL got married, we gave them a check. My SIL, who did the thank you notes, wrote "thank you for your gift". I had no problems with that at all.
In fact, when we got married, we got a gift and I didn't know what to call it! I, too, did the "thank you for your gift" note and also said I appreciated their thoughtfulness.
And, yes, sadly, writing thank you notes does seem to be going the way of the dinosaur.
this is so true .
My grandchildren never say thank you for anything I send them and neither does their mother so I simply stopped sending . I mean why bother ? Yes , Rude is the new norm .
Lately, I'm always having to remind my grandkids to say "please" and "thank you".
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