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1. New baby avalanche...parents overwhelmed and maybe not managing everything all that well. Things like courtesy got lost in the shuffle. Maybe they received multiple blankets as gifts and lost track of the givers. That happened to co-worker friends once. When their first baby arrived they received something like 8 home made baby blankets and they didn't realize until too late they had lost track of who made what.
2. Possibly a disconnect between new parents and grandparents: parents thought their thanks were transmitted to you via the grandparents. Grandparents thought the new parents thanked you directly. Both sides thought the other had responded but in reality no one ended up doing so.
3. Then there's what other people suggested...no manners.
1. New baby avalanche...parents overwhelmed and maybe not managing everything all that well. Things like courtesy got lost in the shuffle. Maybe they received multiple blankets as gifts and lost track of the givers. That happened to co-worker friends once. When their first baby arrived they received something like 8 home made baby blankets and they didn't realize until too late they had lost track of who made what.
2. Possibly a disconnect between new parents and grandparents: parents thought their thanks were transmitted to you via the grandparents. Grandparents thought the new parents thanked you directly. Both sides thought the other had responded but in reality no one ended up doing so.
3. Then there's what other people suggested...no manners.
I would think it's maybe one of the first two, except that the grandmother was then asked directly by the OP about the blanket and was ignored. So I'm guessing it's the third one.
Quote:
Originally Posted by LLCNYC
I understand...I do...it's just not done in today's world. It just isn't.
I would. And so would several people I know, of different ages.
It's the new norm. Don't expect anyone to thank you for anything. I only give handmade gifts to people I knew truly appreciate them. A suggestion might be to donate your blankets to shelters, etc. where they can be used. That way you can enjoy your craft and know someone will appreciate it.
Welcome to the modern world. Now you know not to send presents to those people anymore. The blanket sounds lovely.
I have that problem with my grandkids - Most of them do not thank me in any way. The last one who had a birthday (13) got a check and his mom sent me a TY message. I so wanted to be snarky and reply, "I can't wait until he is old enough to say thank you on his own!"
Quote:
Originally Posted by phonelady61
this is so true .
My grandchildren never say thank you for anything I send them and neither does their mother so I simply stopped sending . I mean why bother ? Yes , Rude is the new norm .
I always insisted that my children send written thank you notes (or I'd send a photograph when they were preschoolers) for most presents (in some cases a verbal thank you was sufficient). They are now adults. My 30 something daughter still sends thank you notes (often on a handmade card) and my son always gives a verbal or email thank you. My grandchildren live out of state and are 3 and 5. They always give a verbal thank you either in person or over the phone or Skype. My son usually has his kids open presents from me over Skype so I can see their reaction. He often also sends photographs over text or email showing them playing with the toy.
To all of you grandparents who never receive a thank you, I am very sorry. I know that I would feel very taken advantage of if my grandchildren/children did not say thank you to me. And, yes, I probably would stop sending presents, too.
However -- and I know I am going to get flak for this -- I absolutely hate home-crafted gifts except for something like cookies. They just take up space and I usually end up giving them away to Goodwill as soon as I move because many other people don't seem to like them either, and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings (in case the giver ever visits my home).
If you like to do crafts, fine -- but unless someone expresses some kind of admiration for what you do, I think that you should do your crafts for your own sake.
If you like to do crafts, fine -- but unless someone expresses some kind of admiration for what you do, I think that you should do your crafts for your own sake.
I understand not liking homemade stuff. But the thanks is for the thought and effort, not just the gift itself.
I would like to know the grandmother's reaction when she received the gift, whether she was surprised that the OP made something, or what. It's very weird that she ignored the OP's inquiry about the blanket.
I understand not liking homemade stuff. But the thanks is for the thought and effort, not just the gift itself.
I would like to know the grandmother's reaction when she received the gift, whether she was surprised that the OP made something, or what. It's very weird that she ignored the OP's inquiry about the blanket.
How about the thought and effort of finding out what the receipient really needs or wants?
Anyway she didn't say how she asked about the gift - just no response.
Was it in person - now if she just walked away after she asked - yes strange
A voicemail on phone? - maybe the number changed?
a text - maybe she doesn't read texts
And i stopped giving gifts because i don't make the effort of finding out what a person wants. I also don't expect gifts. But if you want to throw some cash my way - great!~!!
You spent months of time and effort making something.
I don’t understand not then wanting to present it in person and meet the new baby. You spent months working on something for someone you never see and don’t plan to visit? And you’re expecting a very personal response from them? Do you know each other or not? It is not clear to me.
I agree it’s very impersonal of them if they have not thanked you personally yet, but they just had a baby that you haven’t wanted to meet yet. You had a gift delivered by someone else which is also fairly impersonal.
They are fairly focused on their baby and themselves right now. I am going to bet that it has not even occurred to them how long or how much effort it may have taken you to make the gift... if they even know you made it. They may have no idea, and it currently may not have any more meaning than the other blankets they have and use that were purchased at Walmart... And that’s not their fault, you weren’t there to tell them.
If you want a personal relationship with these folks, I would call them and see if you can come and meet the baby. That is what is personal to them right now.
Last edited by Diana Holbrook; 08-31-2019 at 10:23 AM..
But there are always those who do their thing and make what they make, assuming others will appreciate it.
Even so, the OP isn't a villain here because she didn't ASK the new parents if they wanted a crocheted baby blanket.
But isn't a gift - a gift.
Just give it and go on your way
How did all these "rules" get started? We lived in caves thousands of years ago
Then somehow we had kings and queens that decided things had to be done a certain way to please them - and here we are.
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