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Whoa. I didn't see that detail, and I've been paying attention!
How can it be an issue when it was her husband's idea?
It was post 626... Op likes to add a bit more to the story every now and then. I feel like in another 100 posts, OP will mention how she was the one who drove the step daughter to get taco bell.
It was post 626... Op likes to add a bit more to the story every now and then. I feel like in another 100 posts, OP will mention how she was the one who drove the step daughter to get taco bell.
Then she's going to eventually tell us that she had a flaming affair with the SD's dad, breaking up his marriage to the SD's mother, and that a place for the cat was also set - on top of the island next to where she expected the SD to sit with her fiance.
This wasn't your husband's fault! You're the one who thought the worst of the kid and dissed HER all over the Internet.
And you don't even say you're mortified, or sorry, or that you feel bad, or stupid, or WRONG.
Exactly. The only person who "dissed" anyone was the OP. If this is true, it's actually funny (now).
Quote:
Originally Posted by KathrynAragon
Keep up, sister!
LOL. I actually skipped the posts. I had enough trouble keeping up with the OP's hourly changes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sundaydrive00
It was post 626... Op likes to add a bit more to the story every now and then. I feel like in another 100 posts, OP will mention how she was the one who drove the step daughter to get taco bell.
LOL. Yep. But her husband is the one who "can't provide details". LMAO
Wait, now. The girl still should have said, "Daddy no! I can't do that. Grandma and what's-her-name have been cooking all day. Me walking in with a bag of fast food would make it seem as if I am disparaging the food they prepared. I will stop at the supermarket and pick something up that all can share. Oh, and do you need more watermelon for James?"
This wasn't your husband's fault! You're the one who thought the worst of the kid and dissed HER all over the Internet.
And you don't even say you're mortified, or sorry, or that you feel bad, or stupid, or WRONG.
Agreed. I feel a bit sorry for the SD since her SM is the overly sensitive type who seems to think the worst of her off the bat.
And I think back to the poster who said she'd have thrown the food away. The girl's father tells her to bring food for herself - he's not offended, and apparently knew his parents wouldn't be either. Only for someone to grab her food and toss it in the garbage, or tell her she's not allowed to eat it.
And the OP thinking of trying to make a scene at her SD's wedding by ordering pizza for her table.
All this hatred and bile toward the SD whose father was the one that suggested she bring some food for herself.
This is what happened when you ASSume the worst and don't get the facts straight 1st.
FWIW, I didn't create any drama at the meal. I made a little comment about the Taco Bell, but said nothing about the seat thing. That's why I came here....to vent! Little did I know this thread would take on a life of its own.
And good thing I didn't make a big deal out of it bc guess what? It was all DH's fault! He's notorious for not providing details. In one of her texts to him, she asked what all we were having for dinner, and guess what his reply was? He said, and I quote, "Ham. Stop & get yourself some fried chicken or something."
And, she did! Lol. Guess she wasn't in the mood for chicken so she made a run for the border . No wonder, considering her dad's descriptive text!!!!
Why when the young woman was doing exactly what her dad suggested her to do, "Stop and get yourself something", have you made such a big thing about her bringing food for herself from Taco Bell? She just chose Taco Bell over fried chicken. It was probably easier to get Taco Bell than to find fried chicken.
When your own husband advises any guest to bring something for themselves as a main course, and the guest does, you are still going to be angry at the young woman, no matter what she does.
This one fact now that it comes out, puts all the blame back on your husband, not the young woman. It is apparent you have such a hatred for this young lady, that she will not please you no matter what she does. No matter what she does, it is going to be wrong. As a step parent myself, I can tell you the best way to handle things is to accept them as part of your immediate family. It is the only way that it will really work out well. When you finally do, you will find life gets a lot better for you. It is very apparent she knows how you feel about her, and no matter what she does, she will be in the wrong.
As to the seating, you set her up. You moved the dinner from the dining room, and used a small table for the adults with no room for her. You are treating her like a child, not the young adult she is. Your way of putting her down, is the way that she would see it. As the only friendly faces that were at your dinner, were your husband and her grand parents she wanted to be with the people she felt safe with, as from your side she feels a hostile environment. When you put her and her fiance with the kids, you were putting her down and shutting her out from her real part of the family her grand parents and her father.
You were putting her down, setting her up to still be a child at the children's table, and not as good as the other adults. She is tired of your put downs, not willing to accept her on an equal basis, and you have been sent a message. The message is, I am now an adult, and I expect to be treated as one.
When you moved from the dining room where all adults could sit together, out to the kitchen where this was not possible, there is no doubt this was done to put her in her place and sit her away from her dad and grandparents. This mess is all your fault, no matter how you try and spin it. Everyone can see what you did, and knows why you did it. I is time to get over it.
The thing you have to realize, your husband knows what you did, and knows why you did it. You keep it up, trying to separate him from his daughter, and it is not going to be a happy husband. You are tearing him up, by doing this. What he wants is to have both of you. A loving wife, and a loving daughter. He does not want to have to take sides, but you are one of these days going to force him to do it if you keep it up what you are doing.
I can tell you from experience, that the best way is for you to welcome her into your own family, and accept the fact that your husband has a daughter he loves and wants to be around. When she has children, they will be his grandchildren and he will want to be around them the same way he will want to be around any grandchildren that comes from your mutual children.
Keep pushing her away, and though you don't realize it, when you are pushing her away, you are also pushing your husband away. To have mutual respect with each other and to learn to live together, the only way to make it work, is for you to make the first moves to make her more welcome in your home, and mean it.
Not knowing what others may be facing, your own judgment skills aren't all that sharp. I was a step-child in two families so I know a bit about that.
As a side note, Carol Channing, famous actress, always carried her own food and bottled water with her when invited out to dinner. Even when attending public events such as awards dinners. Of course, being a celebrity, no one thought to condemn her for this, instead chalking it up to eccentricity.
Because she had several food allergies.
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