Cell phone manners dilemma

[brokensky]

I think the relationship with "step daughter" (easiest way to identify her in a post) is strained at best.

Obviously, the two of you are very different people with very different personalities.

The fact that the calls irritate you so much is much more to do with them being from your BF's ex than with cell phone etiquette.

From the description of how you typically spend as little time with the woman as possible . . . the calls are your stepdaughter's way of irritating you. She wouldn't take the calls except that it does interrupt the flow of conversation. She obviously does it quite purposely or otherwise she would let the call go into VM or she would quickly take the call and tell her mother she will call back later.

It is her way of saying "being with you is much less important than talking to my mother." That is obvious.

I am sure she knows it gets your goat, too.

The fact that it bothers you seems very insecure on your part. Why would you care if your BF's daughter looks like a rude, self-centered, passive aggressive person? Let her show her lack of good manners in front of her father. If he doesn't like her behaviors, it is up to him to address it, not you. You have done your best to minimize any relationship with her so I am sure your BF realizes you don't like her. Yet, he wants you to get along. Let him look at her as the "rude one," not you.

It doesn't sound like she visits that often. When she is around and her mother calls and she continues a conversation in front of you, get up and go call your own mother, or your sister or a friend - whatever. Tell your BF and your stepdaughter that her call reminded you that you haven't called XX in a while. Stay on the phone as long as she does.

I would get a prepaid cell phone expressly for this purpose if you don't own a cell phone (you really should get one w/ a cheap plan - just for emergencies if nothing else). Just whip it out and make that call without blinking an eye. Do this every time stepdaughter either places or receives a call from her mother. I bet everyone will get the message and you won't have to say a word.

[Marv101]

^^^^Brilliant brilliant brilliant---nicely done and perfectly stated.

That OP certainly needs to learn some manners.

[Larkspur123]

This a really odd post. I'm always puzzled why people get involved with others who have significant baggage(kids and exes) and don't realize what they are getting into.

Trying to micromanage your "stepdaughter"'s phone time would be a terrible idea.

[GotHereQuickAsICould]

Originally Posted by Larkspur123

Trying to micromanage your "stepdaughter"'s phone time would be a terrible idea.

I agree. Nothing good will come of it but a bunch of drama, which she likes and you don't.

OP needs to DVR those soaps.

I imagine the boyfriend/father does want her to come along on these jaunts with his daughter. I suspect that he is uncomfortable with her childish antics. Well, tough tomatoes. The explanation that he gets so little time with her that she doesn't want to interfere says it all.

Then get out of the house. Take an extra yoga class. Volunteer somewhere. Get a mani-pedi. Whatever.

By the way, I want your life. Except for his daughter's childish behavior, it sounds wonderful.

[Adhom]

How old? Sounds like immaturity all around.