Parents disowned me after I asked them to pay me back! (girlfriend, member)
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Your only legal recourse is to take your mother to court and have plenty of documentation to prove your case. If you have anything in writing from 6 years ago relating to the loan or you can get her to confirm via even an email or a text that she acknowledges borrowing the money from you and refuses to repay it, you'll likely get a judgment against her.
This is purely practical advice, and setting aside any comments on the family dynamic.
A child does not "owe" their parents money simply because they paid to raise them. The parents are also the ones that made the choice to have children in the first place.
OP, I am so sorry to hear that your parents would act the way they are. It sounds like you have spent a great deal of money on them over the years and are just asking for that particular loan to be paid back. You are also asking for a very small payment to be made weekly as well. I know having family treat you that way is very painful, but if they would disown you over this I don't know how much more time, money, or effort I would continue to put into that relationship.
My family disowned me too because I would not bail out my sister who is currently homeless. She refuses to work. They said they will talk to me if I agree to compromise. A compromise would be to give her $10K instead of the $20K she asked for. But it is still good money after bad.
Small price to pay for a "gift" that gets you out of all the drama and paying thousands of dollars more for them in the future.
Just tell her to have a nice life, enjoy her casino and don't call you when they are broke because of her gambling and their inability to handle their money instead of their money handling them.
PS ~~ Don't ever "loan" money to friends or family you want to keep in your life. Tell them it is a gift or at least expect it to be treated as a gift that will never be repaid.
Also, learn the word NO when it comes to giving someone else money unless they are a creditor.
All good advice. "Neither a borrower nor lender be", and if you want to keep family, you don't lend them money expecting to be paid back, you give it to them.
Parents aren't supposed to use their kids, and they could have taken out a loan from the bank but I suspect it is the mother's gambling addiction that has them begging money from their own adult child.
As far as them disowning the OP, that only shows how very tacky they are --- be glad and don't contact them any more. No more gifts for them. The money saved from that can be considered partial pay back.
As someone with a parent with a gambling problem (its been this way since before I was born apparently, I'm 28 years old), it sounds like your mom needs help. Addiction is addiction and she probably doesn't see it as a problem.
Besides that, as others mentioned, be careful when lending out money in the future. That is one thing I absolutely have avoided because of the ramifications of repayment later. Also, doing certain favors for people as well.
Sounds like your mother has a gambling addiction. Most likely, if she didn't go to the casino every week, they would be able to pay their bills and would not have needed to borrow money from you to begin with. Your poor father is working well into retiring age to keep up with her debts. She has disowned you because she knows she can't afford to pay you back and she doesn't want to stop gambling or admit to all this. It's denial at its best. Arrange an intervention, work on getting her to acknowledge her problem. And get your father to put all their money in an account that she has no access to so she has nothing to gamble with. You won't see your money until she stops gambling, they likely don't have it so asking for it is the wrong tactic right now.
Cut them off. You will never get your money back. Your mom is a gambler. Your dad works 50 hrs. a week and is past retirement age. They're in a deep hole. This is something you can't fix.
Your request for such a paltry payment arrangement is a thinly veiled ploy to receive ongoing validation and appreciation from a nest of poisonous snakes. It's not going to happen.
Considering how much money THEY spent on you from the time you were born to now..... you infact owe THEM instead of them owing you.
Bullshyt.
The amount of money they spent raising the OP...was money they were RESPONSIBLE for paying. The OP's parents CHOSE to have a child, and with that choice came the expense of raising that child.
That loan came out of the OP's son's COLLEGE FUND. Now the OP's parents are basically stealing from their own grandchild!
I think the OP is more than reasonable to ask and demand this money being paid back, as it was given AS A LOAN, not as a gift. And he is more reasonable than I would be about it, if the situation were mine...offering a payment plan.
Maybe the OP's son is about ready to start college now and is going to NEED that money.
It really PISSES me off when people assume that the elder person is ALWAYS IN THE RIGHT just because they are elder.
Keep saying...don't loan money. Just give it. If you can't give it, merely say, "I can't afford it."
All sorts of messes.
And I agree with the posters about having a face-to-face with your parents. If they truly disown you, move on. Better you find out now.
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