New Yorkers - friendly or not?! (Greenwich, Florida: apartments, crime, how much)
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I think it's apparent that when people who come from some random town outside the Northeast think NYers are friendlier, that they are very optimistic people. I would liken them to people who deal with ignorant people in their life and will still say something nice about them.
I'm fairly realistic, and I will say that New Yorkers, although liberal, and accepting of people from different walks of life, are generally perceived as hurried and rude. The reason New Yorkers don't notice it, is that they've known nothing else. They are just accustomed to a certain interaction with strangers, which is minimal please/thanks, door holding, how are you, smiling.
The reason I notice this, is that I live just outside of the border of some of this culture. About 20 miles north of me, people generally stop holding doors, smiling, small talk, etc. I'm friends with a ton of these people, and they just don't know any better than to give your stuff to a clerk, hand them money and walk out.
People from friendlier areas don't know any better than to greet the clerk, smile, thank them, then possibly hold the door for someone on the way out. It's all customs. The reason New Yorkers are perceived as rude by the general populace is because the norm in the united states IS small talk with strangers, if just hi/please/thanks/how are you, holding doors, smiling, etc.
When New Yorkers (native, not you transplants,) move to an area, they bring their "minimal interaction" to an area of normal social interaction, and it is perceived as rude.
When people from Central Virginia, or what not go to New York, they bring their customs to an area of "minimal interaction," and this is perceived as rudness by the visiting Virginians.
Really, it's just that New York is it's own little world, and they have a whole social culture of their own, defense mechanisms, social barriers with strangers (like a little kid would have,) and that's just how they've been trained. After you get around their "firewall," they are as dull or interesting as anybody else in the world.
But, there is this NY/Philly entitlement complex as well, and I haven't really figured it out too much. When I worked in CC Philly, I could get away with murder at my job. What I could say to customers in Philly would have gotten me fired at the same exact job anywhere else in the country.
We could shout and cuss at customers in Philly, and there was some "It's Philly!" attitude that I've seen in New York as well. It seems that, for some reason, a certain populace in Philly and New York (usually cops/transit workers/customer service people,) act however the hell they want, and get away with it carte blanche because "It's Philly," or "Oh, It's New York."
I joined in on this for a little bit when I worked in Philly, and it was just downright laziness, and poor self-control. I was mean as hell to some people, they took it, but at the end of the day I knew it was wrong to treat human beings that way. I see it every so often, nowadays with transit workers, COPS, pizza guys, restaurant people, and I still don't understand why they (I) act(ed) that way.
I believe that the entitlement thing has to do with lack of accountability, and a mob mentality, where everybody is in on everything together, and they can't get in trouble for their actions. I've tried to report a transit worker, and It seems to go to somebody who would shut me up, then say nothing to the worker, and do nothing about their faulted actions, but that's a different thread I guess.
I agree and disagree - I don't think that it is the native's that don't know better. I think it is people from other cultures that bring their cultures here. Small talk, is an american thing. Don't get me wrong I don't think that NY would have ever been voted the nicest city in the world, but common courtesy is something else. That has to do with the cultures that are coming from other countries. Pushing, shoving and things we as "americans" perceive as rudness, are not necessarily rude behaviors in other cultures. We keep saying natives. There really are very few natives that live here. So many people have migrated from somewhere else. So, what you may think is a native being rude could actually be a girl on her way to school was born and raised in France. You really just never know. On a whole I think people raised right no matter whether they are from NY, CT, NJ or Indonesia are friendly and respectful.
I think it's apparent that when people who come from some random town outside the Northeast think NYers are friendlier, that they are very optimistic people. I would liken them to people who deal with ignorant people in their life and will still say something nice about them.
I'm fairly realistic, and I will say that New Yorkers, although liberal, and accepting of people from different walks of life, are generally perceived as hurried and rude. The reason New Yorkers don't notice it, is that they've known nothing else. They are just accustomed to a certain interaction with strangers, which is minimal please/thanks, door holding, how are you, smiling.
The reason I notice this, is that I live just outside of the border of some of this culture. About 20 miles north of me, people generally stop holding doors, smiling, small talk, etc. I'm friends with a ton of these people, and they just don't know any better than to give your stuff to a clerk, hand them money and walk out.
People from friendlier areas don't know any better than to greet the clerk, smile, thank them, then possibly hold the door for someone on the way out. It's all customs. The reason New Yorkers are perceived as rude by the general populace is because the norm in the united states IS small talk with strangers, if just hi/please/thanks/how are you, holding doors, smiling, etc.
When New Yorkers (native, not you transplants,) move to an area, they bring their "minimal interaction" to an area of normal social interaction, and it is perceived as rude.
When people from Central Virginia, or what not go to New York, they bring their customs to an area of "minimal interaction," and this is perceived as rudness by the visiting Virginians.
Really, it's just that New York is it's own little world, and they have a whole social culture of their own, defense mechanisms, social barriers with strangers (like a little kid would have,) and that's just how they've been trained. After you get around their "firewall," they are as dull or interesting as anybody else in the world.
But, there is this NY/Philly entitlement complex as well, and I haven't really figured it out too much. When I worked in CC Philly, I could get away with murder at my job. What I could say to customers in Philly would have gotten me fired at the same exact job anywhere else in the country.
We could shout and cuss at customers in Philly, and there was some "It's Philly!" attitude that I've seen in New York as well. It seems that, for some reason, a certain populace in Philly and New York (usually cops/transit workers/customer service people,) act however the hell they want, and get away with it carte blanche because "It's Philly," or "Oh, It's New York."
I joined in on this for a little bit when I worked in Philly, and it was just downright laziness, and poor self-control. I was mean as hell to some people, they took it, but at the end of the day I knew it was wrong to treat human beings that way. I see it every so often, nowadays with transit workers, COPS, pizza guys, restaurant people, and I still don't understand why they (I) act(ed) that way.
I believe that the entitlement thing has to do with lack of accountability, and a mob mentality, where everybody is in on everything together, and they can't get in trouble for their actions. I've tried to report a transit worker, and It seems to go to somebody who would shut me up, then say nothing to the worker, and do nothing about their faulted actions, but that's a different thread I guess.
The first time I encountered this (and I didn't even work in NYC yet, but lived all my life in Jersey) was when I was 20 years old and took my first plane trip to visit a friend in Colorado. I went to a convenience store, picked out what I needed and waited at the counter while the clerk ignored me to continue chatting with a coworker about football. She was leaning back against the wall and without moving up to the counter, finally looked at me and said, "So what do you think? Are you routing for the Broncos?" I said, "I don't know who the Broncos are. Can I have a pack of Newports?" She finally stepped up but still slow as molasses said "Oh, you aren't from around here, are you." Then she took her sweet old time ringing up my stuff....I thought she was very rude, but figured maybe people in Colorado were just ignorant. At any rate, I knew THEY weren't going to change for ME.
I am not sure I consider those "friendlier areas", though. I think it's fake.
But, there is this NY/Philly entitlement complex as well, and I haven't really figured it out too much. When I worked in CC Philly, I could get away with murder at my job. What I could say to customers in Philly would have gotten me fired at the same exact job anywhere else in the country.
We could shout and cuss at customers in Philly, and there was some "It's Philly!" attitude that I've seen in New York as well. It seems that, for some reason, a certain populace in Philly and New York (usually cops/transit workers/customer service people,) act however the hell they want, and get away with it carte blanche because "It's Philly," or "Oh, It's New York."
I joined in on this for a little bit when I worked in Philly, and it was just downright laziness, and poor self-control. I was mean as hell to some people, they took it, but at the end of the day I knew it was wrong to treat human beings that way. I see it every so often, nowadays with transit workers, COPS, pizza guys, restaurant people, and I still don't understand why they (I) act(ed) that way.
I believe that the entitlement thing has to do with lack of accountability, and a mob mentality, where everybody is in on everything together, and they can't get in trouble for their actions. I've tried to report a transit worker, and It seems to go to somebody who would shut me up, then say nothing to the worker, and do nothing about their faulted actions, but that's a different thread I guess.
I used to work at a restaurant (got laid off) and I was very nice outwardly to customers, but wanted to get pissed at others. I wish it was NYC, Boston, or Philly so I could have said something without risking my job or being seen as rude and mean and discouraging business. For example, one couple stayed 2 hours after closing so we couldn't clean the dining area yet. We waited silently, but pissed. Most Angelenos are too afraid to say anything, but if this was NYC, I would have told them they needed to leave...This was 1AM and I had to still clean up and get home. I didn't go to sleep till 3AM and had to wake up for school at 6:30. If I had said something, I probably would have been fired for being rude to customers because in LA, one is praised for being fake and shallow. We are to lie to their faces and say take your time, but talk badly about them in the back.
Or when a lady criticized my co-worker and tried to convince me that the bread that I witnessed being made that day was not fresh, I had to be nice to her. She yelled and cussed at me in front of the whole restaurant and I had to just take it. If that happens when I live in NYC, I'll talk back because that isn't seen as being terribly rude NYers. I woulda been fired in LA for not faking my concern with our "old" bread.
There is no place where people are friendly ! How can you be friendly with somebody you don't know ? We should talk about being amiable and polite.
The New Yorkers are in general polite, a cold politeness.
Customer service is terrible in New York. I cannot understand why, it is fundamentally the fault of the bosses I believe.
The service in a supermarket in Florida(Publix) is incredible good, people are very, very nice, polite, if they made a mistake about the price you have the product free ! etc, etc.
Only at Brooks Brothers in Manhattan I found a really professional service.
The stress and the fight for survival make people in NY unhappy and they react accordingly.
I've been here for a few months now and I am struggling with this issue myself. On the one hand, I myself can understand the concept of being on the move, constantly. Especially when you come from a place where you have to drive everywhere, then you find yourself constantly reliant on proper timing to get where you need to go...even when it comes down to handling errands and such. As I acclimate I sometimes feel so inferior, but then I remember that New York City has a LOT of people of ALL types...so nothing stands out unless you are outwardly insane, a celebrity (sometimes), or you are somewhat of a public figure. Otherwise, you are just one in several million, especially when also considering the multitude of other things grabbing our attention at all times. I am starting to understand that it's not rudeness or arrogance or even impatience, its just that each person is so insignificant to another person on the grand scheme of things that its only several seconds of attention one can expect to get...
It all ties into the whole concept of New York being a machine that just keeps on working 24 hours a day... and as the previous poster stated, it's a cold politeness I find most common. At the same time it's understandable, especially if you are born and raised new yorker. you naturally have your guard up...you have to otherwise you would be overcome by all of the factors that make this city what it is.
There's rarely a, "Hey, how are you, what's up, how are the kids," conversation when you're getting your groceries bagged because there are a freaking ton of people who need their stuff. That said a lot of customer service people are just flat-out rude. I don't object to texting, but I do object to someone who's texting when s/he is supposed to be ringing up customers. Customer service in big stores is usually pretty brusque, though I wouldn't call it impolite.
New Yorkers on the street are generally very nice and polite, though of course your mileage will vary depending on your location and time of day. Nobody's going to stop for a chat in Times Square during rush hour, but anywhere else, if you need to ask for directions you'll certainly be greeted nicely. You might even end up with a couple total strangers arguing about the fastest way to get you to your destination.
We New Yorkers have a very different sense of personal space though, especially in public transportation. I would never butt in on someone's personal conversation...but if a group of people is analyzing a subway map looking really confused, I'll tell them that the B doesn't go to 14th so they're better off taking the F, or that the A doesn't stop at 81st, etc. Sometimes people are a little weirded out but once it's obvious that I've either continued on down the platform or gone back to my book, they know I'm not a stalker and seem to appreciate it. Anyone else noticed a similar phenomenon?
I live in Florida and everyone in my community are very friendly except for the New Yorkers. These people are loud mouths, rude, and have the me me me attitude...... New Yorkers move to Florida and refuse to adapt while most other transplants from other states try to adapt to the Florida culture and the local sports teams etc..... New Yorkers left New York but refuse to leave the rat race rude attitude behind....... If New York is so great than move back really move back!
I find many of the transplants rude, they usually dont thank you when you hold the door for them (like you're their doorman) and dont apologize when they push or step all over you on the train or whereever. Visitors are obnoxious, though oblivious and not intentionally annoying, when they stand in the center of the sidewalk chatting while zillions of people have to walk around them. New Yorkers are a little less oblivious to others around them and more polite and helpful. We often are friendly and chatty in the shops or the elevator, that's a misnomer that we dont make small talk.
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