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My wife's Asian, and we live in Asia. (I'm caucasian originally from the mainland).
Basically, in Asia, you have a lot of households where grandparents, parents, and kids all live under one roof. The benefits are that when the parents go out to work, than the grandparents are with the kids.
For example, often in Japan/Korea, the oldest son will get married, get a house, and it's just assumed the son's parents will move in there, and live. Sometimes it creates friction between the wife and mother-in-law, but nontheless, a common practice.
Hawaii, having many Japanese and Filipino, are these practicies still commonplace? Or has the concept of 'nuclear family' from the Mainland, become more and more common?
To be honest, I kinda like the Asian approach to this. As a parent, it would be great to have my kid's grandparents easily accessable/available, when the wife and I must do our daily necessities - work, errands, etc. When I someday become a grandparent, it would be great to live under the same roof, and take care of extended family, and have everyone around. (Granted this really only works if the family likes being around each other).
What's the Hawaii version of this? Does it very between Filipino, Japanese, Portuguese, Caucasian, etc.? Does it vary per Island?
You have good ideals on this subject. I would assume that the same practice was common on the mainland in our earlier years. Of course evolution has given young couples a different sense of security; not one in having parents live with them but the flip coin ...... a sense of independence by being on their own.
You have good ideals on this subject. I would assume that the same practice was common on the mainland in our earlier years. Of course evolution has given young couples a different sense of security; not one in having parents live with them but the flip coin ...... a sense of independence by being on their own.
The Walton's aspect is appealing and great, but the reality of this for many families, is that grandparents become older and have a real need for care at some point. Desire to do so, and ability , are often two separate issues. That fact makes it very much an obstacle for many. In Hawaii, the EWA senior housing and many many more senior living housing locations are based upon independent lifestyles. Those become assisted living, as physical needs change for the older persons. Younger families are often stressed to be a resource, in time, ability, and financially. Senior living areas relieve that stress and provides much needed resources for care. A lower cost, based upon income , at locations is available, but space can be an issue too. Prepared individuals that have purchased Long Term Care Insurance is great if foresight had been used, and premiums made at a younger age. Waiting until elderly is almost prohibitive. The Long Term care Insurances allow options for a set term of approximately 4 years, OR, "unlimited" term, which drives the premium amounts. COLA increases for care costs can be part of the policy allowing coverage to match future costs needed for care as well. Activities of Daily Living, like bathing-dressing-cooking etc are used to determine by a doctor, when a policy kicks in for use. Too, at HOME care options are part of those policies, which would meet the "family" unit scenario, and gives a 1/2 monthly payment amount versus 100% payment monthly, for full time nursing home costs amounts paid. Typical FULL sums paid, are $122-140 per day. But, usually the payment is very restrictive and "family" members cannot tbe paid but a set time period. An additional caregiver is still needed to give care at the home family scenario, anyway. Willingness by family to give care is not the issue. It is, however, the skill, ability, and over time exhaustion of families to do all the things for care. THAT aspect is a practical concern at some point and must be considered in the 'long term", for the positive benefit of all in the family. Geographic location is not the determination, resources are the concern.
Yes in Hawaii you see a lot of families living under one roof. I dont beleive it varies much from island to island. Some of it may be influenced by culture/choice. Major reason is housing cost here and relative low wages. It's also about choices. Many young couples will elect to remain with mom, dad, or auntie and raise their kids in the spare bedroom or converted garage so they can afford to drive a new full size pick up truck, eat out often, or buy designer hand bags. Oh forgot about tattoos also, those dont come for free. I guess they know that most of them will never be in a position to be a homeowner so they go this route....
Yes in Hawaii you see a lot of families living under one roof. I dont beleive it varies much from island to island. Some of it may be influenced by culture/choice. Major reason is housing cost here and relative low wages. It's also about choices. Many young couples will elect to remain with mom, dad, or auntie and raise their kids in the spare bedroom or converted garage so they can afford to drive a new full size pick up truck, eat out often, or buy designer hand bags. Oh forgot about tattoos also, those dont come for free. I guess they know that most of them will never be in a position to be a homeowner so they go this route....
But, I suppose, in the end, they become the homeowner. Just keep the house in the family, and keep passing it down. Right?
There is a certain logic that makes sense to me, anyways.
Actually in most of the world besides mainland USA, our idea of "the nuclear family" is not the norm. Many cultures enjoy the mutigenerational home, family compound, etc. Pretty much both sides of my own family have never put an elder in a nursing home unless it was medically necessary for care - it just isn't done in my family (southern, caucasian mostly). Most of my grandchilden have never had a babysitter per se, as in one unrelated and possibly unknown to them person providing child care. My one granddaughter did for awhile however it was a loving mexican family who opened their hearts to us - my granddaughter was the only "unrelated" child in the home and she grew up believing they were a part of our family and when we we going to Mexico to visit our relatives! (that was in Las Vegas before we moved to Hawaii)
I have 3 generations in my home; my husband and I live up stairs and my son, wife and 2 kids live downstairs. My dream is to have several acres where any and all of my kids could live there if necessary! They just have to help feed the chickens, gather the eggs, take care of the garden...........
Actually in most of the world besides mainland USA, our idea of "the nuclear family" is not the norm. Many cultures enjoy the mutigenerational home, family compound, etc.
I've also noticed that many immigrants do that in expensive states in the US. Usually met with complaints, people complain about the big family of 'immigrants' next door.
But, it's just a different way of viewing the family relationship, and taking care of all it's members.
I think out in Boston and Providence and some similar New England cities, they have a ton of houses that are built for several families to live in. I'm sure the original intention was for when the kids had their kids.
Interesting that most of those houses are now 'apartments' rented out to other families, as the concept of nuclear family is so heavily stressed.
Over the last 20 years or so I am starting to see more and more families here on the "mainland" stay together under one roof. It seems like when I was a kid we couldn't wait to get out and get away! Now I see many people in their 40's still living with their parents and even have kids. I think that while this is still far from being the norm on the mainland, things will continue to slowly go in that direction.
Yes in Hawaii you see a lot of families living under one roof. I dont beleive it varies much from island to island. Some of it may be influenced by culture/choice. Major reason is housing cost here and relative low wages. It's also about choices. Many young couples will elect to remain with mom, dad, or auntie and raise their kids in the spare bedroom or converted garage so they can afford to drive a new full size pick up truck, eat out often, or buy designer hand bags. Oh forgot about tattoos also, those dont come for free. I guess they know that most of them will never be in a position to be a homeowner so they go this route....
But not all situations are like this. My former boss at U.H. said he allowed his daughter and her husband to live at his house rent free to help them save for a down payment on their own place because in expensive Hawaii it's hard to get a head start without parental/family help.
He also said this gave him the right to question them if he saw them make unnecessary luxury purchases (in his opinion), like a new flat screen TV, brand name handbags, etc., since they're supposedly living with him rent free to save money towards a place of their own.
And I agree with him because if you're a grown adult still living with your parents, I believe you have to abide by their rules, like it or not.
Last edited by Honolulu21; 11-16-2011 at 12:12 AM..
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Not in every situation...
