Ohana: Extended Families, Nuclear Families - in Hawaii

[Kualoa]

You are correct not "all" situations are like this. But I said "many" not "all". Your experience and mileage may vary. Young men especially need to venture out on their own, gain independnece, and find their way in the world. The vision of the "slacker" living in his moms basement is becoming a national joke. Staying near to care for an ailing or ill relative is understandable. On the flip side who wants to have to enforce rules on their grown offspring long after they have reached the age of maturity. Does not sound like fun.

[leilaniguy]

Sometimes Ohana gets taken to the extreme here. A couple of years ago a single family 3 bedroom house burned in Honolulu and left 36 people homeless. A few months later a 400 sq. ft. cabin burned in Oceanview and left 16 homeless. There is supposedly a Marshallese "village" on one acre in Oceanview that has 250+ occupants.

[Tiger Beer]

Originally Posted by Kualoa

Young men especially need to venture out on their own, gain independnece, and find their way in the world. The vision of the "slacker" living in his moms basement is becoming a national joke. Staying near to care for an ailing or ill relative is understandable. On the flip side who wants to have to enforce rules on their grown offspring long after they have reached the age of maturity. Does not sound like fun.

In Japan/Korea, usually what happens is the oldest son marries, and he buys a house for his new wife and his parents move into the house. So, he's essentially the 'guy in charge'. The grandparents just help take care of the household, and usually beg for grandkids until they exist.

The slacker guy that can't function seems to be an American 'construction'. Someone who isn't capable of doing anything, and continuously under the help and assistance of his parents.

I'm not sure, but the sounds of this thread, it sounds like people in Hawaii are more like the latter (American construction) than the former (Japan/Korean households in Japan/Korea)?

The way it's suppose to culturally work in Asia, is the son becomes the 'home master', and the grandparents kind of become 'semi-dependents'. (I'm using son, as in both Japan/Korea, it's the oldest son (and his wife) who are obligated to care for the son's parents until they eventually pass on).

[Honolulu21]

Originally Posted by Kualoa

You are correct not "all" situations are like this. But I said "many" not "all". Your experience and mileage may vary. Young men especially need to venture out on their own, gain independnece, and find their way in the world. The vision of the "slacker" living in his moms basement is becoming a national joke. Staying near to care for an ailing or ill relative is understandable.

I'm well aware of the slacker syndrome because of all the news articles available in magazines and on the internet. In today's world, Young women as well need to venture out on their own.

Winkomosis asked in another thread how do all the young people he sees on Maui can afford brand new cars, etc.. The answer is help from parents/family.

I "talk story" a lot with people I work with and other local people I meet, and from what I've heard (especially if they're from upper middle class to wealthy families), is they got help with the down payment on a house, car, etc., or else they wouldn't have had that house or car. Whether or not the down payment was gifted to them outright, or loaned, varies.

[/quote]On the flip side who wants to have to enforce rules on their grown offspring long after they have reached the age of maturity. Does not sound like fun.[/quote]

What you said is true, but it ignores the economic realities of living in expensive, but low wage Hawaii. Many local grown children have to live with parents for a while longer in order to prepare for independence and become established.