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What's the appropriate color for a funeral. I know there's basic black but how about charcoal grey? Dark navy? I've been googling and some say for close family members (spouse, parents, children, etc) the only acceptable color (unless specifically told otherwise i.e. a person last wishes) is black. And only black. Thoughts??
I was moved by the documentary Her Last Project, about Dr. Shelley Sarwal's choice to end her life via Canada's Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) program. She had an incurable degenerative illness and decided to die at 48, donating her organs to others and her brain to science so that her illness could be researched.
Apparently she loved the color purple. This is the last line of her obituary, which she wrote herself.
Quote:
Cremation has taken place. Celebration of life followed by high tea at September 29, 2018, 1:30pm-7pm, Cruikshank’s Funeral Home, 2666 Windsor Street, Halifax, NS. Casual dress, purple preferred.
At last minute, the memorial service was changed to be outside. I also had to bring a couple of folding chairs, because they ended up short. So I changed my outfit to be more casual. I decided on:
Form fitting black trousers, chunky heeled black patent heels made to wear w/pants, black knee-hi hose, an elbow-length crew neck high quality cotton sweater (Ralph Lauren...bought yrs ago at a second hand clothing store - it was a steal, didn't look as if it had ever been worn). Jewelry was just pair of small silver loop earrings.
I felt at home and comfortable in the outfit. Respectful, fit in with the more casual setting and better able to carry those chairs. Almost all the women wore pants.
So thanks to everyone for your suggestions and advice. In the end, I would've gone, no matter what I could find that fit. But I wanted to do it right this one time, to show respect to our family and my youngest sister (who died in a matter of weeks after getting an illness) and reflect my extreme sadness. Thanks so much.
I really do think that people should put out a "dress code" of some sort at this point. So often, people prefer attendees to dress to "celebrate" the life of the person as opposed to wearing dark colors to grieve, which I actually prefer (the celebratory part).
You are so right.
For my DH funeral mass, I told everyone to dress casual- no suit, jackets or ties were necessary or expected for the men. I relied on their own sense of decorum not to wear shorts or tank tops.
I felt everyone looked nice and respectful of the church; the prayers were heartfelt; the sadness was sincere; and the reminiscences were joyful.
We mourned his passing and celebrated his life.
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