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Some people really do have to work harder at "it" (whatever that is) than others. I mean for instance, I wish in some ways that I had inherited some particular things from my mom - for instance, she just had a gorgeous, gorgeous face and long graceful limbs. But she didn't have great skin. She never tanned, always took care of herself, but she just did NOT have great skin - ever. I mean, when she was young it wasn't that big of an issue but as she got older, it became clear that she had "thin" skin, and was going to wrinkle and spot and all that more than some other people - like my grandmother (her MIL) and like me, frankly - I inherited my grandmother's skin. No character judgment, it was just that way. I didn't do anything to deserve it and neither did anyone else. And my skin still looks great, even though I don't take as scrupulous care of it as my grandmother did hers. I mean, I don't abuse it but I also don't wear long sleeved shirts all the time, or wear a hat when I'm outside, or go walking in the sun with an umbrella!
I have known several older women who were downright sexy - just overall sex appeal. One day my dad (yes, my dad - remember him - LOL) told me (BECAUSE WE WERE FRIENDS AND TALKED SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK) said, "Hey, you know So and So?" (One of the ladies I'm talking about.) I said "I sure do," and he said, "I just today realized this - I mean, I'm in awe - I just suddenly realized that she's not all that physically attractive." AND HE WAS RIGHT. But it was the overall package - the great skin, the mannerisms, the voice - all that made her a lot more attractive than she actually was.
I learned a lot that day about what makes a person attractive over the long haul.
I am not a classic beauty or any sort of perfect physical specimen at all. I always thought my husband was a LOT better looking than me. But he always said "You're beautiful" to me and he really seemed genuinely confused whenever I said "You can't be cuter than me - it's not fair. I don't feel comfortable." He was always like "What on earth are you going on about? You're gorgeous." Hey get this, I don't feel gorgeous but I also feel very comfortable with myself and very confident. I never built my self esteem on my looks and I never counted on my looks to open doors or whatever - I always put a priority on character and personality and brains - and a sense of humor. Hey, I didn't win "Wittiest" in high school for nothing! LOL but anyway, my point is that I think self confidence is sexy. Does that mean I don't care about physical looks? Not at all. But as others have said, I take care of my looks for ME. For MY self confidence. I dress for ME. I keep my nails and skin and hair and all that looking good for ME. When I am self confident, I'm at my best - for me, and for other people too.
Look at all the celebrities who look so good - and have such jacked up lives. Clearly looks are overrated. Maybe that's all some people think they have and if that's the case, I feel sorry for them. I say "Go find other good stuff about yourself because honey, those looks aren't going to last."
Some people really do have to work harder at "it" (whatever that is) than others. I mean for instance, I wish in some ways that I had inherited some particular things from my mom - for instance, she just had a gorgeous, gorgeous face and long graceful limbs. But she didn't have great skin. She never tanned, always took care of herself, but she just did NOT have great skin - ever. I mean, when she was young it wasn't that big of an issue but as she got older, it became clear that she had "thin" skin, and was going to wrinkle and spot and all that more than some other people - like my grandmother (her MIL) and like me, frankly - I inherited my grandmother's skin. No character judgment, it was just that way. I didn't do anything to deserve it and neither did anyone else. And my skin still looks great, even though I don't take as scrupulous care of it as my grandmother did hers. I mean, I don't abuse it but I also don't wear long sleeved shirts all the time, or wear a hat when I'm outside, or go walking in the sun with an umbrella!
I have known several older women who were downright sexy - just overall sex appeal. One day my dad (yes, my dad - remember him - LOL) told me (BECAUSE WE WERE FRIENDS AND TALKED SEVERAL TIMES A WEEK) said, "Hey, you know So and So?" (One of the ladies I'm talking about.) I said "I sure do," and he said, "I just today realized this - I mean, I'm in awe - I just suddenly realized that she's not all that physically attractive." AND HE WAS RIGHT. But it was the overall package - the great skin, the mannerisms, the voice - all that made her a lot more attractive than she actually was.
I learned a lot that day about what makes a person attractive over the long haul.
I am not a classic beauty or any sort of perfect physical specimen at all. I always thought my husband was a LOT better looking than me. But he always said "You're beautiful" to me and he really seemed genuinely confused whenever I said "You can't be cuter than me - it's not fair. I don't feel comfortable." He was always like "What on earth are you going on about? You're gorgeous." Hey get this, I don't feel gorgeous but I also feel very comfortable with myself and very confident. I never built my self esteem on my looks and I never counted on my looks to open doors or whatever - I always put a priority on character and personality and brains - and a sense of humor. Hey, I didn't win "Wittiest" in high school for nothing! LOL but anyway, my point is that I think self confidence is sexy. Does that mean I don't care about physical looks? Not at all. But as others have said, I take care of my looks for ME. For MY self confidence. I dress for ME. I keep my nails and skin and hair and all that looking good for ME. When I am self confident, I'm at my best - for me, and for other people too.
Look at all the celebrities who look so good - and have such jacked up lives. Clearly looks are overrated. Maybe that's all some people think they have and if that's the case, I feel sorry for them. I say "Go find other good stuff about yourself because honey, those looks aren't going to last."
This is a beautiful post but I cannot rep you again so soon.
I will add that inner radiance goes a long way. There is often one woman at a party who is not a classic beauty, yet who draws people, both men and women, to her. When you talk to her, you find out she is kind, positive, secure, and engaging. Some might say she is charming, but she is without guile. She is the kind of woman people just feel good around. Maybe men desire her, but other women enjoy her company, too. She isn't petty, competitive, or jealous. If anything, she builds other women up rather than try to tear them down. She already has grace, and so she ages gracefully. Sounds like So-and-So is like that. Not a bad way to be at all!
I haven't read the posts but: bottom line is people just do what is right for THEM!! Stop with the thinking that you might pass for someone MANY years younger. Use some moisturizer because it makes your skin feel better, etc. People are going to age, there is no going around it (and I do not agree w/the people getting all kinds of cosmetic surgery, injections, etc. - you aren't fooling anyone - The best part of aging is to accept who you are, be kind, happy, etc.
I haven't read the posts but: bottom line is people just do what is right for THEM!! Stop with the thinking that you might pass for someone MANY years younger. Use some moisturizer because it makes your skin feel better, etc. People are going to age, there is no going around it (and I do not agree w/the people getting all kinds of cosmetic surgery, injections, etc. - you aren't fooling anyone - The best part of aging is to accept who you are, be kind, happy, etc.
Bingo.
The other day, a friend I hadn't seen in probably close to a year said to me, "Wow, you look beautiful!" Well, I know I don't look BEAUTIFUL in any classical way but I am sure I look a lot better than I did when I was in the throes of grieving my husband's death, which was I believe the last time she saw me. Anyway, I know I feel a lot better and I believe that shows in my looks. I look back on photos from that time and realize exactly what my kids said to me "Your smile doesn't reach your eyes." But I think it does now. I feel so much more grounded, so much more peaceful about things. I'm happier, frankly, than I was then - OF COURSE. Because I was devastated and now I'm not. Duh.
And I think an inner glow is what makes the biggest difference. Even if someone gets plastic surgery or spends thousands and thousands of dollars on "looking young," I feel like grabbing them by the shoulders and yelling "YOU'RE NOT FOOLING ANYONE." I mean, they still look "older." We can't stop time or it's effects.
Accept it and be happy about where you are in life, your blessings, your interests, and most importantly, the people you cherish.
I always thought of my mom's mother as being glamourous and gorgeous. You know what - she wasn't. But she LOVED life and LOVED her husband and herself and her talents, which she expressed exuberantly. It wasn't till long after I was grown that I even realized that she was always a bit poor, and she didn't even have many clothes. But she had a colorful poncho and a rakish beret that she would put on, flinging that fringed poncho over one shoulder, and sometimes she'd stick a pipe (a PIPE!) in her mouth, and I thought as she painted a portrait, or a life size cutout animal in her yard, "That woman is fabulous."
I haven't read the posts but: bottom line is people just do what is right for THEM!! Stop with the thinking that you might pass for someone MANY years younger. Use some moisturizer because it makes your skin feel better, etc. People are going to age, there is no going around it (and I do not agree w/the people getting all kinds of cosmetic surgery, injections, etc. - you aren't fooling anyone - The best part of aging is to accept who you are, be kind, happy, etc.
Ah, but what if getting cosmetic procedure is for themselves? I mentioned earlier in the thread that I am most likely getting some laser resurfacing. It has nothing to do with wanting to "fool" anyone and everything to do with not wanting discolored patches on my face that look like I put make-up on in a moving vehicle and smudged it.
Ah, but what if getting cosmetic procedure is for themselves? I mentioned earlier in the thread that I am most likely getting some laser resurfacing. It has nothing to do with wanting to "fool" anyone and everything to do with not wanting discolored patches on my face that look like I put make-up on in a moving vehicle and smudged it.
Hey, I had laser stuff to zap my age spots on my hands and on my "decolletage" or however you spell it, and I did it FOR ME. I personally didn't like looking at those spots so I had them removed, and when they come back in a few years I'll have them removed again. For me.
Ah, but what if getting cosmetic procedure is for themselves? I mentioned earlier in the thread that I am most likely getting some laser resurfacing. It has nothing to do with wanting to "fool" anyone and everything to do with not wanting discolored patches on my face that look like I put make-up on in a moving vehicle and smudged it.
I'm not talking about things like that and the thread was about aging. Certainly, take care of such. I'm talking about the people that get the injections into their lips, etc. - I know we've seen some that couldn't crack a smile if they tried because of all the Botox, whatever. (Joan Rivers got really frightening looking near the end).
I'm not talking about things like that and the thread was about aging. Certainly, take care of such. I'm talking about the people that get the injections into their lips, etc. - I know we've seen some that couldn't crack a smile if they tried because of all the Botox, whatever. (Joan Rivers got really frightening looking near the end).
I would not get lip fillers, myself, but aging lips can disappear almost like aging eyebrows, so I can't fault people for wanting to replace the fullness that they lost. Their money, their bodies. I hear what you are saying, though. Trout Pout and so on. There is a TV show called "Botched" and it is rather frightening, too, when things go awry. And sometimes it is also comical, like when someone's butt implants flip over and their butt looks like a box. (I shouldn't laugh, yet I do. Bad Seija, bad. )
You are a local to me so if ever change your mind, I know a good dermatologist in Arlington.
No I’m through “fighting.” I just want to look good for my age. Luckily my hair is good. My face has aged, but that is to be expected. When I get myself together, I notice the approval in DH’s face, and that is enough.
An earlier poster mentioned carriage and posture. I think those are the big giveaways about our age. I can tell that my movement has changed in the last year. My knees are moving inward, and it affects how I move. I have to face the fact that I now look my age.
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- The best part of aging is to accept who you are, be kind, happy, etc.
