How easy/hard is it to make friends? (Denver, Colorado Springs: crime, neighborhood)

[Kibbiekat]

Originally Posted by Quicie

I didn't realize it was THAT hard to make friend there. Geez, a year and only one friend.

lots of acquaintances and people I am friendly with. One actual friend.

[Quicie]

Originally Posted by downtownnola

In my experience, Denver is not an easy place to make friends. I've lived here for 4 years and have a great group of friends but it has taken time.

I have lived in much smaller towns of 50,000 to 100,000 people and I found it MUCH easier to make friends in those types of places. People in smaller towns are more laid back, and seem to have more time to invest into friendships.

I can't quite put my finger on it, but there's just something about the people here. I've certainly not found people here to be all that friendly, and even the people that seem friendly also seem too busy to invest much time into friendships. Maybe this has just been my experience, but I've talked to alot of people who feel the same way. Who knows what causes this- maybe it's just the transient nature of the population here.

Maybe So, Is Denver more of a family type place then? If so, I guess people are busy taking care of their families and are not concerned about making friends.

[blueorbitz]

Is it really bad with people being flakey and backing out of plans or not calling. I'm trying to escape DC and the most unfriendly years of my life wasted here. My sister lives in Colorado Springs, but I'm single and thought Denver would be a much better choice. I'm getting a little scared of these comments, but ..... I guess nothing could be worse than DC?

[FunkyMonk]

Welcome to the Western U.S. people. From San Diego, to Seattle, to Denver it's like this. The rugged individualism of the wild west is still in the culture and and it's still a very "everyone for themself" sort of place compared to lots of others. People tend to stick to little groups and be hesitant to let new people in too close. If you read the Oregon, New Mexico, Wyoming, Arizona and Washington forums you'll see the same theme. It's even like that in California in a bit of a different way.

I grew up all over the West. And after traveling a lot more recently I can really see this in the people here. It's too bad, it would be a great place for everyone to come together. You really, really have to connect with someone in order to keep them as a friend.

[nelumbo]

I think a lot of making friends is luck - your neighbors, coworkers, people who you meet at events or activities. Sometimes you happen to land in a place or situation with a bunch of people with whom you just 'click', and other times friends are just very elusive.

I've lived here for going on three years, am heavily involved with several community/interest groups, and I've made a bunch of nice acquaintences, of the sort that I would invite over if I were having a big barbecue, but wouldn't go so far as to ask them to pick me up from the airport. I work mostly with people much older than myself, live in a quiet, unsocial apartment building, and don't share the interest in outdoor activities that so many people here do. Being in a demographic (early 30s) when many people have small children/etc probably doesn't help much.

Having said that, I do have patience, and expect that I would eventually find some good friends if I stay here long enough (not that I'm planning on staying here long-term, but lack of friends wouldn't be in the reasons for leaving). It did take a while to make friends (as an adult) in my previous locations of residence (DC, Boston), but I did eventually find some great people.

[Quicie]

Originally Posted by FunkyMonk

Welcome to the Western U.S. people. From San Diego, to Seattle, to Denver it's like this. The rugged individualism of the wild west is still in the culture and and it's still a very "everyone for themself" sort of place compared to lots of others. People tend to stick to little groups and be hesitant to let new people in too close. If you read the Oregon, New Mexico, Wyoming, Arizona and Washington forums you'll see the same theme. It's even like that in California in a bit of a different way.

I grew up all over the West. And after traveling a lot more recently I can really see this in the people here. It's too bad, it would be a great place for everyone to come together. You really, really have to connect with someone in order to keep them as a friend.

You know, I really like what you are saying as odd as that might sound. I like to stick with just a couple of TRUE friends<--------notice how I said True friends. I don't mean to sound rude, but after everything I've been through with people, I have had to realize that letting everyone in your life may not be such a good thing.

[Minervah]

Originally Posted by jcfg

I have to say that my husband and I left the Denver area mostly because we had such a hard time making friends. We were used to having lots of friends and were shocked by the elitism and aloof attitudes in Denver. We met a lot of people at first and we'd make plans to hang out, only to have them not show up and never call to apologize. I didn't need an explanation, as things come up for all of us, but I would have appreciated an acknowledgement or apology for standing me up. Then the same person would call me up months later and act as if they hadn't blown me off for months. Weird.

I found Colorado Springs to be much friendlier, but nowhere near as friendly as the south.

This is exactly what I ran into when I moved to Portland OR some 30 years ago. I found the trick was to make friends with other transplants and I found some great ones. Eventually I found friends with the "natives" too.

But I am thinking of moving on and have posted here before asking questions about Denver. I guess I may have to start all over with the friends thing if I move here.

[ilrale]

Agree with jcfg -- people flake out all the time and it seems to be acceptable. I really went out of my way to make friends but no one else seemed to put out a lot of effort.

A guy on the lift at A-Basin said one day "it's not that people are UNfriendly out here, it's that they just don't care." I tend to agree. I think it's a lot of people out for themselves.

I've lived in a lot of places, including NYC, and Denver is probably the least friendly place for me. I found that Gunnison was a lot friendlier. If I could have done my job from there, I would have moved there.

[Quicie]

Originally Posted by ilrale

Agree with jcfg -- people flake out all the time and it seems to be acceptable. I really went out of my way to make friends but no one else seemed to put out a lot of effort.

A guy on the lift at A-Basin said one day "it's not that people are UNfriendly out here, it's that they just don't care." I tend to agree. I think it's a lot of people out for themselves.

I've lived in a lot of places, including NYC, and Denver is probably the least friendly place for me. I found that Gunnison was a lot friendlier. If I could have done my job from there, I would have moved there.

So you also made plans to meet with people and they didn't show up or call to tell you they couldn't make it? Sheesh, how rude! It only takes a min to call. Has anyone else experienced this? I'm glad you all are telling me this now.

[BabyBoomers2]

We will say this, Denver metro area isn't the only place where it is hard to meet/make friends......so is the "so-called" friendly South! We now live just above Charlotte, NC and we find that it is as unfriendly here as it was in Denver. I truely believe that it is just a "sign of the times we live in". With all the crime and crap that goes on today, not too many people want anything to do with strangers. One of the only ways to meet people/make friends is to have kids that are in school (elementary or high school).
We got involved with Squaredancing while living in Colorado, but the ONLY thing Squaredancers want to do is Squaredance!!! There is more to life than hearing "Square 'em up!"