Moving to Dallas from NYC, looking to hear good things to feel better about the transition, please please! (Austin: condo, how much)

[CGGirl]

Originally Posted by ggolf

Pulleesee, CG, you've got to thicken your skin. I'm almost 60, white, and I can give you a gazzilion examples of where I was snubbed in public for no reason at all. It's just what happens in our lives. At my age I just shrug my shoulders and move on to something more positive, like folks who are nice to me, or opportunities where I can be nice to someone. It's actually a lot of fun to make someone's day. Try it instead of worrying about how you feel about a potential snub towards you.

Umm..I never said it worried me! LMAO. I was sharing an anecdote related to my statement that I don't find people in Dallas to be friendly. Someone posted in response to me and said that people in Dallas are indeed friendly. I then responded with the aforementioned anecdote and pointed out that our different experiences could be related to race. The anecdotal example I gave was relevant because it involved the same person's differing reactions to me and my BF at different times in the same place.

[CGGirl]

Originally Posted by Michelle15

I'm from NJ and have lived in DC also (and many other places), and I don't think that people in Dallas are particularly friendly either. And I'm white, so I don't think that it has anything to do with race. I've lived in places where people were more unfriendly, but I do think that people in NJ/NY and DC are more friendly than here. I'm moving to the suburbs at the end of the month, so I'm hoping people may be a little better out there!

Good to know it's not just me, then!

[Texas is only OK]

If you live in the suburbs, I feel it may be too much of a rude awakening to change. The homes in the suburbs can be cookie cutter versions of each other and also not much opportunity to walk places as you described. You may enjoy uptown or lakewood more.
I have lived in a couple of other cities (although only visited NYC). One thing that I do like about Dallas is that life is very easy here. You can buy a house, park your car, and get into and out of places without too much trouble. I can remember living in LA and driving my car around the block 20-30 times looking for a space just to get money out of the ATM or go grocery shopping. You won't have to worry about that here. Not as much anyway.
I find Dallasites to be less forgiving than New Yorkers, in general (as I duck for the tomatoes about to be thrown). I feel like Dallasites are super competitive- My husband makes more money, my diamond is bigger, my boobs were done by the best doctor- whereas I feel like New Yorkers are more accepting of being who you are with or without money or plastic surgery. On the positive though, compared to other cities I have lived in, Dallasites tend to be very embracing and including of new people. Even if they are comparing and competing, at least they will invite you to brunch/HH or whatever, and want to get to know you. And based on some of the recent posts about "friendliness", please allow me to clarify what my definition is of what I just described: Friendly is hello and smile, and maybe occasionally make small talk. I don't know if Dallas people are like that or not frankly. I was describing the next layer of friendship. Once you are acquainted with someone and want to actually become friends. I do find Dallasites to be more likely to step forward in that way. When I lived in Portland, everyone was super nice, helpful, sweet, and friendly. However, I only made one friend while I was there...and she was from the south (Florida). Did I explain this difference appropriately?

[Stendahl Syndrome]

I lived in northern New Jersey for 30 years (with stints in D.C., Manhattan, and Providence, RI) before relocating to the Dallas area almost 9 years ago. After 9 years here, I can give you the following observations: 1. Living is so much easier here - everyday things such as wide straight boulevards, huge and well-stocked grocery stores, a ridiculously low cost of living (comparatively), and a plethora of every kind of "suburban" amenity you can imagine makes life so much easier for the average person. 2. People are indeed friendlier and more laid back. In fact, if you remain here more than a few years you will get so used to the friendly, helpful demeanor of almost everyone you meet, returning to New York and experiencing the abrasiveness (which I used to think was just the normal human personality) will be very difficult. 3. A little more on the people thing: No one honks here except for sometimes the tiniest little polite beep if a driver doesn't seem to notice the light has changed. People here also don't seem to mind waiting on line. 3. The weather is both a wonderful change and abusively oppressive. You will experience more cloudless days in one Dallas year than you might in five N.Y. years, and you might even learn to hate the sun and long for clouds during the brutal Texas summers. 4. The political and cultural conservatism (which I think leads to Dallas suffering from a bad case of affluenza and consumerism) can be challenging and the hardest thing to deal with if you have children. We won't be retiring here, but all in all it's been a great place to raise our kids.

[Brownowltwins]

Look in Devonshire. Lots of young families, walk to restaurants, outdoor green areas, etc. very close to downtown. Other places listed above are very suburban.....you might have culture shock if you dive in too quickly. This coming from Dallas native

[satodfw]

My .02 on the "friendly" thing - and keep in mind this is coming from someone who, although I've spent a lot of time in Dallas over the past year making the decision to move there, I'm not settled just yet. Anyway:

My wife and I, both from the NYC area, lived in Newport Beach, CA for a few years. Like NY, people don't come across all that friendly on the surface, and in many ways it's a lot worse than NY - no one will hold doors for you, it's very materialistic, lots of plastic & fakeness, etc. However, we quickly made a lot of friends there, who are proving to be lifelong friends. We've been gone for 3 years now and still talk to our friends there almost daily and we all visit each other often. We really have a great group of friends there.

Fast forward to 2009 and moving to San Antonio, which is known as a very "friendly" city. My take is that people are VERY polite here. Everyone holds doors, says 'please' and 'thank you', says 'sir' and 'ma'am,' you won't see plastic & fakeness, etc. But we've made ZERO real friends here. And believe me, we've tried. Beyond the politeness, no one has any desire to establish a real friendship. Sure, my wife has her girls from tennis league and book club, and I have my guy acquaintances, but it's all very superficial and no real connections have been established.

I can't speak for Dallas yet but my initial experiences are more along the lines of Newport Beach than San Antonio: A lot of people come across as "fake," there isn't the overt Texan politeness of San Antonio, but I get the impression that Dallas people are very outgoing in very much the same way that Newport Beach people were. I think that anyone who makes the effort to network and find friends will be able to do so.

[Double-G]

If you think Dallas can possibly match NYC in terms of diversity OF EVERYTHING you are on to a losing streak.

If you can open your mind to living in flyover country, you will make it work. But if you think NYC is the be all and end all you will be massively disappointed by Dallas.

[mami2emily]

My husband works in Irving. We have settled in University Park (HPISD). Takes him 20 minutes to get to Irving taking Northwest Highway all the way. He loves not having to get on any of the big highways. The area we are in is very family-friendly. You will find a lot of stay at home moms and their babes at the many parks here in the Park Cities. Everything you need is a short walk or 3-minute drive away.

On the friendliness...

I have lived in Massachusetts (11 years), Georgia (14 years), and now Texas. We have traveled often to NYC, CA, and all over New England. In my experience I have found people here in the DFW to be some of the friendliest I have encountered anywhere. And I thought when I moved to Atlanta from Boston that Georgians were the friendliest folk ever! But Texas has kicked it up a notch in the short time we have been here.

Also in the "north", it's not that they are unfriendly. It's that they just mind their own business and don't feel the need to talk to everyone they encounter. I always noticed though that in Boston, in the summertime, people became much more approachable than the rest of the year. And I have also noticed that in post-9/11 NYC people have become a lot more approachable as well.

It all starts with your attitude, though. If you are friendly and always try to give of yourself, it will come back to you.

[zs4]

Hi,

I used to live in different parts of Queens, like Flushing, Astoria, Fresh Meadows, and even parts of Brooklyn but have always worked in Manhattan. I can tell you that the Irving area and areas around it are a lot like Queens, multicultural, relatively lower expenses, near an airport, etc. The biggest benefit of DFW is that real estate here is what it used to be in Queens 30 years ago. If you found Queens to be exciting then you'll be excited here. But in reality, all Queens people know how extremely boring it is over there. But I think the real issue for you is not the relocation, but your new role as a stay at home Mom. That's where you have to manage your expectations. Whether in NY or DFW, you're going to face the same challenges of staying at home.

On the friendliness....here is what I came up with:
In NY, we have different body language and gestures and give off different vibes. In NY, everyone gives me a smile when I pass them by in the street, or go to the store. Here, they give me a very strange puzzled look. Its almost like they can't figure out what they are looking at. Only after I start talking do they get somewhat normal.

[Made_it_To_the_Metroplex]

I could understand someone moving from NYC to a place like Hattiesburg, MS being concerned, but moving to the Metroplex? Your life is what you make it. DFW may not be the center of the universe as so many seem to think NYC is, but it's hardly "flyover country". That's just such a dismissive, knee-jerk (and offensive) term.