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Originally Posted by Hellion1999
what standard is that? that just allegations that are not proven in court or a legal proceeding where the accused has a chance to face his accusers and the evidence are enough to fire a person and ruin their career (regardless of gender)?
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A higher standard. If you don't understand this, then I suggest you look into yourself. It is self explanatory. When you work at a University as a high profile coach, or play sports at a University, you are held to a higher standard. Is it right? Maybe not, but it is simply how it is.
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Originally Posted by Hellion1999
again, he said she said....unless this is properly investigated in a court of law then I don't why you want to lower the standard of burden of proof and ruin a man's career.
I believe he is getting a bad rap.
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Your bias is showing. If you think he is getting a bad rap, then you haven't looked into the guy. He has been a sleaze far longer than he has been at Ohio State.
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Originally Posted by Hellion1999
well, it shouldn't.....marriages are complicated and not black and white. We have a 50% rate of divorces in this country. People shouldn't be fired for having an affair if that has nothing to do with their job unless the drama comes to work and affects their job (that's another topic) or he works for a religious institution and it's stated in his contract......but lying to the wife or having an affair is a private matter and shouldn't be a fireable offense on either gender.
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Again, I am not arguing that it should, only that it does. Don't like it? Take it up with the Universities that do it. Most coaches have a clause in their contract about behavior. Violate it, and you're gone. Simple as that.
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Originally Posted by Hellion1999
I like to know the circumstances of their fights before I call somebody a wife beater. That's why we have due process in the courts.
I have seen women instigate fights and are the aggressors and when the man retaliates then they act all innocent and play the victim. I also saw men abuse women and are the aggressors. Men and women in marriages lie and exaggerate when emotions are involved or want to get the upper hand in the custody of the kids, house, and money. Like I said, marriages are complicated and that's why we have due process and the court system to get to just the facts and judge each case on its merits according to the law.
Let me give you a perfect example, my friend was arrested when his wife was the one that instigated the violence by confronting him, being verbally abusive and wouldn't let him leave the house and pulled his hair and grabbed his testicles (any guy knows that freakin' hurts by just the slightest force) ....when he grabbed her by the neck and threw her across the room so she would stop it left marks on her. She called the police and since he didn't have any marks on him he got arrested. It was later in court that the case was dropped because their daughter told the truth about what happened in court. That's why we have due process in alleged crime-related cases.
I want to know details just like Bill Burr says. How did 2 people get to that situation because it matters.
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So, because you had a friend who had that happen to him, you are now biased against all women making accusations, just like your boy. Got it.
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Originally Posted by Hellion1999
again, you keep getting me wrong and that's on you.....I'm not defending anybody I'm defending the due process for anybody accused of a serious crime that has consequences about their careers, their rights to be with their kids and liberty. I'm the same if the alleged abuser was the wife and the alleged victim was the husband and we do have women that are abusers at home, mentally or physically or both. I would say the same thing.
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You are defending him, whether you are meaning to or not. He kept someone on his staff, and in fact hired him at a new job at a new university, who he knew (and has admitted he knew, which you keep glossing over) beat his pregnant wife.
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Originally Posted by Hellion1999
if there wasn't any court case or hearing and you haven't heard the other side then what "big picture" you are looking at other than her story? let me know something we don't know and what is your source.
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The big picture of Urban Meyer. I posted a nice little article, which you have obviously not read, that shows part of the larger picture. Go back and read it if you want more info.
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Originally Posted by Hellion1999
so you were there and know for a fact that they coerced her in one way, shape or form? is she a grown woman that can decide for herself to press charges and get a divorce? she is helpless here? really? you must think that women, in general, are weak and stupid that they can't make a decision on their own.
She made the decision in 2009 to not press charges and stay with him....she decided that for whatever reason at the time, you can blame others but the decision to stay was hers and she should not blame others for something it was ultimately her decision. She should take responsibility also.
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I don't have to be there. I am a woman, and know how these things go. I have had an experience at a job with something similar, where my boss kept making passes at me, knowing I was married.
"Are you sure you want to file a complaint? It could hurt you in the future, when you are trying to move to a new position."
"Are you sure you want to ruin his career? It was a one time thing, I am sure it will never happen again. If it does, I'll personally take him to task!"
"Oh, this is just marriage stuff. You guys should go to counseling, and everything will be fine. I am sure it won't happen again."
"You know, if you press charges, your name will be all over the media, and people will be putting your picture on the news, and looking for anything in your background. They'll be talking to your family members, friends, co-workers, acquaintances..."
You get the picture. If you can't understand that, then you are not worth speaking to. I am also not saying she shouldn't take responsibility. I have a huge problem with women who stay with abusers. I am not going into that here though.
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Originally Posted by Hellion1999
there you go again getting personal with me....people like me? if you can get fired for just allegations for a crime that happened outside of work that resulted in no arrest and no conviction then we are in trouble in this nation and an ex-husband or ex-wife or anybody that has a beef with you can ruin a career just on unproven allegations.
Just turn the "tortilla" around and pretend it was her ex-husband making the allegations on her about a crime, you think she should be fired on his side of the story alone?
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So, pictures and multiple calls to police are just "unproven allegations" in your world. Okay then.
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Originally Posted by Hellion1999
how did the coach cover this for years? please explain with facts....did the coach lied to the
police when they investigated this several times to cover for his assistant?....did the coach prevented anybody including the woman of reporting this to the administration if she wanted him fired.? did he put a block or a gfag order on the woman for pressing charges and talking to anybody including the press? I didn't know Urban had that much power in the state of Ohio.
again, having him fired wouldn't have done nothing back at home of stopping the alleged abuse or keeping the kids safe. Urban doesn't have that much power outside of the football program.
there is a legal process here where the woman had access to and wasn't denied by anybody.
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He kept him on staff and sent his lackeys to keep her quiet.
Firing him wouldn't have stopped the abuse, but would have showed the Urban had a backbone, and that wife beaters have no place on his coaching staff. Instead, he kept her quiet, and then rehired the guy at a new job a couple years later.