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Hi James- in July of 2009, a group of five gay men were asked by security to leave Chico's Tacos because a gay couple were kissing openly in this restaurant. Apparently, some gay slang phrases were tossed around by the security guards. I read in one article the gay men didn't blame Chico's Tacos, only the security men used at that particular location. You can read about it on Wikipedia, just search Chico's Tacos on Wiki.
I still contend these isolated acts of intolerance can occur anywhere. I’ve heard stories of similar situations right here in Boy's Town, Chicago. For me, it's not a rare “once in a blue moon” aggressive discriminatory act but consistent patterns or trends of behaviors that are more reflective of a community. It’s how a community reacts in the aftermath that is most telling. For example, the fact that many residents in El Paso decried the actions of the security guards is a better measure for acceptance of the gay and lesbian community.
I think El Paso had a gay pride parade before any other city in the state except Austin. Then again, this sad individual who calls himself a minister organized a referendum to deny same-sex and unmarried partners of city employees city benefits, which last time I checked was being challenged in the courts. I don't know if El Paso has an ordinance against anti-gay discrimination or not.
Location: northern Vermont - previously NM, WA, & MA
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I'm a gay man that made a trip to both cities just last week. Beyond the bar scene I found Albuquerque to be a more attractive and eclectic city with more to do. ABQ is also nicely located close to Santa Fe and more mountain resort areas. Check out Ojo Caliente Hot Springs north of Santa Fe, there were lots of gay men roaming around the place, and it's a fun place to hang out while you soak in the hot springs pools. El Paso may be more of an advantage for venturing into Mexico I suppose, but primarily for Chihuahua, not sure what parts of Mexico attract you. I prefer the arts, the character, and vibe of Albuquerque. New Mexico just seems to be a much prettier and a more colorful place with more opportunity for fun and exploration than West Texas. El Paso was OK, but not that attractive IMO. To give credit where credit is due, I did see two lesbians holding hands nonchalantly downtown El Paso with nobody around batting an eye.
I met an ex-Bostonian in Albuquerque. With all the artists, Native American/Hispanic/Anglo culture, and spirituality of many angles and points of view beyond religion he was compelled to say "In New Mexico gay men actually have and appreciate culture, gay men in Boston only think they have culture". More or less he was implying New Mexico is where a lot of gay men come to escape the scene, and the fabricated cookie cutter culture that has become so homogeneous in gay bars and scenes across America. I'm sure Boys Town in Chicago is not far off. What he described is one thing I really appreciated about New Mexico, and how integrated it was that there is not much of a need for segregation.
As far as meeting guys and/or a partner, put aside geography and look within. The clichés are true; I was single for 7 years. Albuquerque seems like an easy place to be yourself, live and let live kind of vibe. That said it would be fair to say your odds might be better in both El Paso and Albuquerque as they both strike me as more intimate than Chicago. I would have loved Chicago in my 20's, now I'm in my 30's and Albuquerque seems a lot more appealing in a Goldilocks kind of way.
Plus gay marriage is recognized in the state of NM.
Sorry, but that is not completely correct.
"A comprehensive legal analysis by my office concludes that valid same-sex marriages in other states would likely be valid in New Mexico," Attorney General Gary King said on January 4th, 2011. But opinions by an attorney general are just that, an opinion, which themselves do not have the force of law. The opinion itself notes, "we cannot predict how a New Mexico court would rule on this issue."
A spokesman for Governor Susana Martinez, replied, "Governor Martinez made it clear during the campaign that she opposes same-sex marriage. It's important to note that no New Mexico court has ruled on this issue."
Rich
Last edited by Poncho_NM; 09-27-2014 at 11:27 AM..
Albuquerque is a pretty open and accepting place all around. This seems to apply to the gay community as well - I don't think you'd have any problems here, but I can't speak to El Paso except to say that the culture in El Paso does strike me as a bit more conservative than ABQ. However, you'd probably be fine there as well. Keep in mind though that I'm in my upper 20's and float in circles of those similar in age, and in general my generation tends to be more accepting than the older generation, so who knows...
To Caphillsea77 - great post, and glad you enjoyed your visit!
Location: northern Vermont - previously NM, WA, & MA
10,755 posts, read 23,847,920 times
Reputation: 14671
I'm a gay man that made a trip to both cities just last week. Beyond the bar scene I found Albuquerque to be a more attractive and eclectic city with more to do. ABQ is also nicely located close to Santa Fe and more mountain resort areas. Check out Ojo Caliente Hot Springs north of Santa Fe, there were lots of gay men roaming around the place, and it's a fun place to hang out while you soak in the hot springs pools. El Paso may be more of an advantage for venturing into Mexico I suppose, but primarily for Chihuahua, not sure what parts of Mexico attract you. I prefer the arts, the character, and vibe of Albuquerque. New Mexico just seems to be a much prettier and a more colorful place with more opportunity for fun and exploration than West Texas. El Paso was OK, but not that attractive IMO. To give credit where credit is due, I did see two lesbians holding hands nonchalantly downtown El Paso with nobody around batting an eye.
I met an ex-Bostonian in Albuquerque. With all the artists, Native American/Hispanic/Anglo culture, and spirituality of many angles and points of view beyond religion he was compelled to say "In New Mexico gay men actually have and appreciate culture, gay men in Boston only think they have culture". More or less he was implying New Mexico is where a lot of gay men come to escape the scene, and the fabricated cookie cutter culture that has become so homogeneous in gay bars and scenes across America. I'm sure Boys Town in Chicago is not far off. What he described is one thing I really appreciated about New Mexico, and how integrated it was that there is not much of a need for segregation.
As far as meeting guys and/or a partner, put aside geography and look within. The clichés are true; I was single for 7 years. Albuquerque seems like an easy place to be yourself, live and let live kind of vibe. That said it would be fair to say your odds might be better in both El Paso and Albuquerque as they both strike me as more intimate than Chicago. I would have loved Chicago in my 20's, now I'm in my 30's and Albuquerque seems a lot more appealing in a Goldilocks kind of way.
Good insights, caphillsea77. As a former Boston resident myself I can confirm your observations.
I wonder, though, about the women you saw in El Paso. It is not unusual to see latinas holding hands while walking in public. It's kind of a safety thing. This is a part of the culture, not an indication they are lesbians. I see this from time to time in Albuquerque, too. Usually they are international students or tourists from Mexico or other points south. Not to say they couldn't have been lesbians, but just offering another explanation for what you saw.
Then it's sad when they become self-conscious of the behavior and stop doing it when they realize that people might think they are lesbians in this culture. Reminds me of a male Brazilian student I knew here who was in the habit of greeting his female classmates with a kiss. When doing this in front of his professor, the professor told him that "we don't do that" in this country, to which the girls in the group replied in unison, "Don't tell him that!" There's something to be said for innocence.
Truth be told it will always be the case that when two women hold hands it is not as bad as two men holding hands. Just the way society takes it. You can be in San Francisco and still be a target of hate crimes.
I really appreciate all the input and dialogue. I still vacillate between the two cities: one day I'm moving to Albuquerque, the next it's El Paso. Because I plan to initially rent, it's not like I'm locked into either location for a long term commitment. After filing my state taxes today, the thought of not paying state incomes taxes (approximately 5.75% of my annual income) is very enticing and definitely a "pro" to living in El Paso.
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There's something to be said for innocence.
