I feel I've lost the ability to have real belief/conviction about God (Gospel, hell)

[Trimac20]

It's something that's bothering me. It's been years since I've had that conviction that God - specifically the Biblical God - is actually real...like i believe, but I feel it's more like a hoping...when I pray, half of me believes it won't do anything. Is that what you call agnosticism? I mean I do believe/think there is a God, that the Bible broadly refers to the true God, but there are just so many things about the BIBLICAL God that prevent me from fully believing. I've prayed, try reading the Bible (but the problem is sometimes reading it makes it WORSE). What else can I do? I just crave peace of mind, but with my anxiety that's hard.

I think one problem is I've tried to FORCE myself to believe in the past. I naturally found stuff like Noah's Ark hard to take literally but I forced myself to believe it when I was 12 or so before I went through an agnostic stage, and now I can't seem to just believe naturally without those counterracting feelings. It's like the more i try the worse i make it. I think I believe am 'saved' but don't know for sure.

What else can I do? Should I explore other belief systems.etc, read more Christian books.etc? I think reading a lot of one POV may convince you, but like anything, after that fades you're left with your natural skepticism. My faith is buoyed every time i read a book like that but only briefly, and seemingly, less strongly than before.

I've haven't had the feeling of assurance that I'll go to Heaven or that I'm a child of God for years...I thought i was going to die, and I didn't of the joy of being with God and other believers but of eternal nothingness...what faith I have isn't enough to make me faithfully follow the Lord's command. I guess if I do lose my faith and be damned than life was just a cruel joke . Well that's on the chance there even is damnation...I find the alternative of just ceasing to exist plain depressing, and renders life meaningless.

[Mikelee81]

Originally Posted by Trimac20

It's something that's bothering me. It's been years since I've had that conviction that God - specifically the Biblical God - is actually real...like i believe, but I feel it's more like a hoping...when I pray, half of me believes it won't do anything. Is that what you call agnosticism? I mean I do believe/think there is a God, that the Bible broadly refers to the true God, but there are just so many things about the BIBLICAL God that prevent me from fully believing. I've prayed, try reading the Bible (but the problem is sometimes reading it makes it WORSE). What else can I do? I just crave peace of mind, but with my anxiety that's hard.

I think one problem is I've tried to FORCE myself to believe in the past. I naturally found stuff like Noah's Ark hard to take literally but I forced myself to believe it when I was 12 or so before I went through an agnostic stage, and now I can't seem to just believe naturally without those counterracting feelings. It's like the more i try the worse i make it. I think I believe am 'saved' but don't know for sure.

What else can I do? Should I explore other belief systems.etc, read more Christian books.etc? I think reading a lot of one POV may convince you, but like anything, after that fades you're left with your natural skepticism. My faith is buoyed every time i read a book like that but only briefly, and seemingly, less strongly than before.

I've haven't had the feeling of assurance that I'll go to Heaven or that I'm a child of God for years...I thought i was going to die, and I didn't of the joy of being with God and other believers but of eternal nothingness...what faith I have isn't enough to make me faithfully follow the Lord's command. I guess if I do lose my faith and be damned than life was just a cruel joke . Well that's on the chance there even is damnation...I find the alternative of just ceasing to exist plain depressing, and renders life meaningless.

The Scriptures tell us that a prideful hardened heart is a barrier to receiving God's Grace. God grants Faith. (Ephesians 2:8-9)..The saved can humbly request an increase in Grace and Faith. God's looking at the heart.

Sin has a hardening effect on the heart and blinding effect toward the spiritual things of God. Sin is overcome through the Holy Ghost which first must be received through Faith in Christ and repentance toward God. As one walks in the light, there is absolutely nothing to fear and no room for doubt. God touches you and lets you know you are his.

It's a shame Trimac, I've seen you post on here and elsewhere and it's a shame you don't seem to have a declaration of faith. Times are dark now, and time is very short. It very well may be that Noah's door starts closing and the waters start rising. We don't want to be outside of the boat when that starts happening.

Salvation is a gift freely given to the humble repentant heart to God through Christ believing the Gospel. God's looking at the heart however. He's not interested in empty lip service.

I recommend getting on your knees beside your bed and have some alone time with your Maker and ask him to save you from the Wrath that's coming.

[Mr5150]

Originally Posted by Trimac20

It's something that's bothering me. It's been years since I've had that conviction that God - specifically the Biblical God - is actually real...like i believe, but I feel it's more like a hoping...when I pray, half of me believes it won't do anything. Is that what you call agnosticism? I mean I do believe/think there is a God, that the Bible broadly refers to the true God, but there are just so many things about the BIBLICAL God that prevent me from fully believing. I've prayed, try reading the Bible (but the problem is sometimes reading it makes it WORSE). What else can I do? I just crave peace of mind, but with my anxiety that's hard.

I think one problem is I've tried to FORCE myself to believe in the past. I naturally found stuff like Noah's Ark hard to take literally but I forced myself to believe it when I was 12 or so before I went through an agnostic stage, and now I can't seem to just believe naturally without those counterracting feelings. It's like the more i try the worse i make it. I think I believe am 'saved' but don't know for sure.

What else can I do? Should I explore other belief systems.etc, read more Christian books.etc? I think reading a lot of one POV may convince you, but like anything, after that fades you're left with your natural skepticism. My faith is buoyed every time i read a book like that but only briefly, and seemingly, less strongly than before.

I've haven't had the feeling of assurance that I'll go to Heaven or that I'm a child of God for years...I thought i was going to die, and I didn't of the joy of being with God and other believers but of eternal nothingness...what faith I have isn't enough to make me faithfully follow the Lord's command. I guess if I do lose my faith and be damned than life was just a cruel joke . Well that's on the chance there even is damnation...I find the alternative of just ceasing to exist plain depressing, and renders life meaningless.

Well this explians why you come across like an agnostic.

With that said, you can't force yourself to believe. It is a work of the Holy Spirit. You have to let God do it and accept it as a gift. It is not a matter of being good, but being honest before God. Not about works.

I've seen too many of your kind of posts. But thanks for sharing

[Trimac20]

Originally Posted by Mikelee81

The Scriptures tell us that a prideful hardened heart is a barrier to receiving God's Grace. God grants Faith. (Ephesians 2:8-9)..The saved can humbly request an increase in Grace and Faith. God's looking at the heart.

Sin has a hardening effect on the heart and blinding effect toward the spiritual things of God. Sin is overcome through the Holy Ghost which first must be received through Faith in Christ and repentance toward God. As one walks in the light, there is absolutely nothing to fear and no room for doubt. God touches you and lets you know you are his.

It's a shame Trimac, I've seen you post on here and elsewhere and it's a shame you don't seem to have a declaration of faith. Times are dark now, and time is very short. It very well may be that Noah's door starts closing and the waters start rising. We don't want to be outside of the boat when that starts happening.

Salvation is a gift freely given to the humble repentant heart to God through Christ believing the Gospel. God's looking at the heart however. He's not interested in empty lip service.

I recommend getting on your knees beside your bed and have some alone time with your Maker and ask him to save you from the Wrath that's coming.

I did 'declare my faith' it just seems it seems to wither away after time. I've 'said the prayer' on a number of occasions, so I think it's more a case of being convinced in my mind. It's not always for lacking of trying, sometimes I try TOO hard. I think about all the agnostics and atheists in the world who just can't believe and it doesn't seem right God would just let them perish. Isn't it better if he simply reveals himself to them than let them go like that? And I mean actually appear to them not just in the Bible.

[NCN]

Have you read the Bible through from beginning to the end?

Do you pray and ask God for help?

Have you fasted and prayed about this?

Just some suggestions. Hope they help.

[Mr5150]

Originally Posted by Trimac20

I did 'declare my faith' it just seems it seems to wither away after time. I've 'said the prayer' on a number of occasions, so I think it's more a case of being convinced in my mind. It's not always for lacking of trying, sometimes I try TOO hard. I think about all the agnostics and atheists in the world who just can't believe and it doesn't seem right God would just let them perish. Isn't it better if he simply reveals himself to them than let them go like that? And I mean actually appear to them not just in the Bible.

IMO many of them are either not interested or want nothing to do with God.

Moderator cut: edit

And did I not say it was not about trying. I question whether or not you are sincere.

[Trimac20]

Originally Posted by Mr5150

IMO many of them are either not interested or want nothing to do with God.

Moderator cut: Orphaned

And did I not say it was not about trying. I question whether or not you are sincere.

That's true, some certainly do reject God, but some after they couldn't come to terms believing him.

I am sincere, I do want a relationship with God. At times I feel God has been guiding me, answering my prayers, it's just I wish he wasn't so faint to me.

[thrillobyte]

Trimac, as long as you're hogtied by the Fundamentalist Corporate Machine's dogma you'll be trapped in this self-doubt for the rest of your life. Break away. Throw away almost everything you've been taught by them and get a Young's literal translation and some study notes. Start reading about God's love, not this wrathful vengeful monster that dangles you over hellfire all your life and laughs as he taunts and torments you. That's NOT the God that lives in heaven.

[pcamps]

Trimac I echo what Thrill said, and seek the Living God that lives in you.

[ancient warrior]

Originally Posted by Trimac20

That's true, some certainly do reject God, but some after they couldn't come to terms believing him.

I am sincere, I do want a relationship with God. At times I feel God has been guiding me, answering my prayers, it's just I wish he wasn't so faint to me.

RESPONSE:

Perhaps God is answering your prayers and expecting you to begin to examine religion through reason rather than blind belief.

And the alternative to beliving in the fundamentalist God is not limited to agnosticism and atheism. Consider other conclusions including deism.