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If you limit your options to only black males, you will be overlooked. It's smarter to date an array of different types of quality men, irrespective of their skin color.
True, but there is also the issue of cultural differences...I may not click with someone from another race because we may not share the same values, beliefs, like the same music, etc I am very into African and African American culture/history and have very strong beliefs about strengthening the black community. I also don't think that I would want children who look nothing like me.
Also, remember that Obama did not grow up around any black males,
Wrong. Read his book.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HoneyBee2010
therefore, his opinion of black women and manhood are very different than the average AA black male.
Wrong. Gracious! He was just a dude on the south side, like thousands of others.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HoneyBee2010
When are people going to acknowledge that black + white or a black + asian or a black + mestizo or a black + arab or a black + (fill in the blank) does not = black?
Sorry but you'd have to be in major denial to think that someone with one black parent is not black.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HoneyBee2010
There's absolutely nothing wrong with biracial people, but I really wish that more of us blacks, would simply use the biracial label to describe mixed raced people.
Wrong. Most black Americans are of mixed race. But they are for sure black.
It all depends on your personality.
If you are ghetto then yeah, most educated black men are not gonna "holla".
If you are eclectic and sort of neo soul-ish then you will pull lots of black men.
Especially the biracial/light skinned guys. I can't tell you how many times I've seen
a pretty mixed boy with blue eyes that had a brown skinned chick with a nappy fro or locks on his arm.
Things That Utterly Torque The Captain, Part XXXVIII
Quote:
Originally Posted by HoneyBee2010
Obama is not black, he's a mixed race man. Also, remember that Obama did not grow up around any black males, therefore, his opinion of black women and manhood are very different than the average AA black male.
When are people going to acknowledge that black + white or a black + asian or a black + mestizo or a black + arab or a black + (fill in the blank) does not = black?
There's absolutely nothing wrong with biracial people, but I really wish that more of us blacks, would simply use the biracial label to describe mixed raced people.
First off, on-topic, to our young OP Miss NyAnna:
You have the world by the tail, and what I wouldn't give to be 22 again, living somewhere like Chicago, and to have the choices you have before you...if you hold your head high, behave like an adult, and are anywhere near as attractive as the 'example' photo you posted, you by all rights should have no problem attracting the caliber of men you seek...and I say this to tell you that applies whether you date within our race, or ultimately choose to date outside of it, which I saw upthread that you stated you wouldn't, but just know as an adult, you are free to date who you wish...good luck and godspeed to you, and take the time to enjoy Chicago, dating or not
Now to the subject of my post title...I wish that more of us blacks would just shut the expletive up, and quit trying to tell OTHER blacks what label to use in private conversation...I read the Chicago papers all the time in the newspaper room of my local library, and for the life of me, I failed to find an article saying someone's death made you the final authority on who the hell is black enough
When are people going to acknowledge that they don't have to live their lives according to someone's invisible standard(s), and ignore somebody who's sitting somewhere with a slide-rule and a calculator saying 'uh-uh sugar, you ain't black enough---you got 1/16th Venusian Swamp Bat in your bloodline!'
And to close, I understand there are those here who don't care for the President, but for posting purposes, I will invoke his name...to wit: I'm quite sure that Barack Obama, his wife the First Lady, their daughters, the First Dog Bo, or Flip the Secret Service guy, really give a fat damn what some anonymous poster on a chat forum thinks of his 'level of black purity'...again, who are you and who made you 'Chief Of The Racial Mix Police'?
I thank god that the bottom line is, you have no say whatsoever about how black people are, or how 'pure black' the men who the OP eventually dates are...truth is a big ol' booger-bear, ain't it?
Wrong. Gracious! He was just a dude on the south side, like thousands of others.
Sorry but you'd have to be in major denial to think that someone with one black parent is not black.
Wrong. Most black Americans are of mixed race. But they are for sure black.
Obama's father is African and his mother is white. He is obviously mixed race. I find it so interesting that black people run around stating that most AA's are mixed. Yes, some AA's are mixed with a percentage of white and/or Indian genes, but that percentage tends to be very small. The vast majority of AA's have features similar to our West African descendants and brown complexions.
Now back to my original point:
A black guy who has a child with a white woman does not produce an AA child, he produces a biracial child, since that child is at least 50 percent white. Why don't you get this?
Also, as I have already pointed out, Obama's notion of beauty was not based on skin color, like far too many black American males.
True, but there is also the issue of cultural differences...I may not click with someone from another race because we may not share the same values, beliefs, like the same music, etc I am very into African and African American culture/history and have very strong beliefs about strengthening the black community. I also don't think that I would want children who look nothing like me.
You initially asked the question, are black males color struck? The answer is yes, a good portion of American black males tend to favor light and/or white women. Therefore, you would be wise to consider non black guys too, because this will expand the males within your dating pool. Also, remember that culture is not really based on race, it's actually based on shared class values. An educated middle class black American woman will have more in common with an educated middle class Hispanic American male, than with a black American male raised in a project building. This is not to say that there's something intrinsically wrong with lower income men, it's just that your values, behavior, communication style, and interest(s) will (usually) be strongly influenced by your upbringing and shared community norms.
Also, (although I hate to say this), when certain black guys do well professionally, they usually prefer dating/marrying women who are closer to the white beauty standard. They will often state that they are uninterested in dealing with 'attitudes,' or obese women, but make no mistake about it, wealthy/professional men can usually get whatever they desire. Case in point: If they wanted a petite/submissive black woman, they would have one. I'll use Jordan as an example. Recall that during his prime, he found a very light/mixed black woman to marry. This is what he was interested in, but presently, he is now interested in marrying a white Latina. Do you really believe that Jordan would ever date and/or marry a woman his complexion? I'm sure there's plenty of beautiful dark/thin submissive Latinas for him to choose from. LOL
Far too many black guys shout and scream about racial discrimination from whites, but make no mistake about it, many of them have zero problems discriminating against black women based on color (the darker black males are especially prone to this type of pathological behavior). Most of these guys are heavily influenced by the media. They grow up watching music videos which primarily feature scantily dressed biracial women and/or Hispanic women parading around the screen and these guys fall in love with that image.
The media is very powerful in shaping what society deems as attractive. White women have a machine behind them (i.e. movies, magazines, advertisements, and other forms of media), like no other; therefore, YES they will be seen by the vast majority of men, as a prize.
Women who come closest to the white ideal will also be viewed favorably (i.e. Hispanic, Asian, Native American, Middle Eastern, biracial etc.). Dark black women tend to fall the furthest from the white ideal; therefore, we are often depicted as least desirable.
You should however hold your head up high and learn to be proud of your beautiful dark skin color, and kinky hair. We are the most unique looking women on the planet, and remember God blessed us with very good genes (as dark women age, we tend to look far younger than most non black women).
Also, never associate with colorstruck males. Why would you want to be around a guy that clearly prefers something else? I would focus on the quality guys who adore you and your dark skin. I wouldn't waste time focusing on the other guys, because at the end of the day, people are going to have height, race, color, hair, education, income, size, [fill in the blank] preferences and requirements.
-But to attract quality guys who prefer dark women, you have to keep yourself looking great, and maintain a high level of confidence, since this will attract uplifting/positive quality men to you.
Also, express your femininity. I love wearing pastel colored clothing (especially hot pink dresses) and heels.
Just remember to always walk with your head held high and help other dark girls/women develop their self esteem as well.
You initially asked the question, are black males color struck? The answer is yes, a good portion of American black males tend to favor light and/or white women. Therefore, you would be wise to consider non black guys too, because this will expand the males within your dating pool. Also, remember that culture is not really based on race, it's actually based on shared class values. An educated middle class black American woman will have more in common with an educated middle class Hispanic American male, than with a black American male raised in a project building. This is not to say that there's something intrinsically wrong with lower income men, it's just that your values, behavior, communication style, and interest(s) will (usually) be strongly influenced by your upbringing and shared community norms.
Our income level may be the same but our interests and culture could still be very different though. I actually tried to befriend some middle class White girls and we didn't have a lot in common, none of them grew up watching the African American sitcoms that I did. They all liked watching old reruns of Seinfield and Friends, which I find to be incredibly boring and unfunny. And other shows geared towards them. I on the other hand, like to watch old reruns of Martin, Living Single, the Cosby's, In Living Color; reality shows like the Braxton Family Values, Basketball Wives...well you get my drift. They didn't watch any of this stuff. There were just a few other things that I couldn't relate to because of a difference in culture.
Quote:
Also, (although I hate to say this), when certain black guys do well professionally, they usually prefer dating/marrying women who are closer to the white beauty standard. They will often state that they are uninterested in dealing with 'attitudes,' or obese women, but make no mistake about it, wealthy/professional men can usually get whatever they desire. Case in point: If they wanted a petite/submissive black woman, they would have one. I'll use Jordan as an example. Recall that during his prime, he found a very light/mixed black woman to marry. This is what he was interested in, but presently, he is now interested in marrying a white Latina. Do you really believe that Jordan would ever date and/or marry a woman his complexion? I'm sure there's plenty of beautiful dark/thin submissive Latinas for him to choose from. LOL
Far too many black guys shout and scream about racial discrimination from whites, but make no mistake about it, many of them have zero problems discriminating against black women based on color (the darker black males are especially prone to this type of pathological behavior). Most of these guys are heavily influenced by the media. They grow up watching music videos which primarily feature scantily dressed biracial women and/or Hispanic women parading around the screen and these guys fall in love with that image.
The media is very powerful in shaping what society deems as attractive. White women have a machine behind them (i.e. movies, magazines, advertisements, and other forms of media), like no other; therefore, YES they will be seen by the vast majority of men, as a prize.
Women who come closest to the white ideal will also be viewed favorably (i.e. Hispanic, Asian, Native American, Middle Eastern, biracial etc.). Dark black women tend to fall the furthest from the white ideal; therefore, we are often depicted as least desirable.
You should however hold your head up high and learn to be proud of your beautiful dark skin color, and kinky hair. We are the most unique looking women on the planet, and remember God blessed us with very good genes (as dark women age, we tend to look far younger than most non black women).
Also, never associate with colorstruck males. Why would you want to be around a guy that clearly prefers something else? I would focus on the quality guys who adore you and your dark skin. I wouldn't waste time focusing on the other guys, because at the end of the day, people are going to have height, race, color, hair, education, income, size, [fill in the blank] preferences and requirements.
-But to attract quality guys who prefer dark women, you have to keep yourself looking great, and maintain a high level of confidence, since this will attract uplifting/positive quality men to you.
Also, express your femininity. I love wearing pastel colored clothing (especially hot pink dresses) and heels.
Just remember to always walk with your head held high and help other dark girls/women develop their self esteem as well.
Happy New Year!
Well, I don't understand, if my own men don't prefer me nor see me in a positive light how can I confidently expect another race to want to date me and see me any differently?? if black men have been influenced by the white beauty standards in the media, wouldn't that be the same for non-Black men as well? Black women are always encouraged to date out however a lot of non-Black men most likely feel just as negatively about us as black men do. Not to mention, I really don't get approached by non-Black men so I can't really consider it an option
Our income level may be the same but our interests and culture could still be very different though. I actually tried to befriend some middle class White girls and we didn't have a lot in common, none of them grew up watching the African American sitcoms that I did. They all liked watching old reruns of Seinfield and Friends, which I find to be incredibly boring and unfunny. And other shows geared towards them. I on the other hand, like to watch old reruns of Martin, Living Single, the Cosby's, In Living Color; reality shows like the Braxton Family Values, Basketball Wives...well you get my drift. They didn't watch any of this stuff. There were just a few other things that I couldn't relate to because of a difference in culture.
Well, I don't understand, if my own men don't prefer me nor see me in a positive light how can I confidently expect another race to want to date me and see me any differently?? if black men have been influenced by the white beauty standards in the media, wouldn't that be the same for non-Black men as well? Black women are always encouraged to date out however a lot of non-Black men most likely feel just as negatively about us as black men do. Not to mention, I really don't get approached by non-Black men so I can't really consider it an option
How are the African American men that approach you now??? What type of guys are you accustomed to being around?? Have you thought about the Northeast coast or the West Coast?? FYI...the African Americans in Chicago "love" sports, so there's something you can connect with, with African American men.
nyanna, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Look in the mirror everyday and tell that girl you see in the mirror that you love her. If you do it often enough you will become that girl.
This entire thread is pathetic....it just wreaks of insecurity, sadness, and weakness. The OP sounds like you average superficial typical African American woman influenced by crappy black culture media. Since you are here in Chicago, how about broadening your horizons, this is a very diverse city, instead of obsessing over black men and their skewed perspectives you should start considering men of other ethnicities and cultures.
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Things That Utterly Torque The Captain, Part XXXVIII
The OP sounds like you average superficial typical African American woman influenced by crappy black culture media. Since you are here in Chicago, how about broadening your horizons, this is a very diverse city, instead of obsessing over black men and their skewed perspectives you should start considering men of other ethnicities and cultures.
