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The whole us "natives" were here first and were fine before you all came along is one thing that really irks me and can come off as backwards (also the mayor of Fort Mill and how he was "just curious" if Obama is the anti-christ - sorry I couldn't resist - some things like that can come off as backwards thinking). I think for the most part this area is pretty progressive however there are sometimes comments and other things that seem to set us backwards instead of forwards.
Certain places are for certain people and people here really need to stop being so sensitive if someone doesn't like it. At the same time, if you don't like it, you don't have to make a post knocking it because it doesn't do anything but stir up trouble.
I understand SunnieD's comment. I had a lot of friends from NY or up north who didn't really like living in Charlotte. I think most people like what they are used to though and in a city of transplants you will probably have a few others in your situation. The one thing that drove me crazy when I lived there was that most of my friends kept moving away so I had to keep making new friends. They were all single so probably more mobile but it seemed that Charlotte got old to them fast. I would consider moving back someday if the economy gets on track. I think a lot of people are somewhat stuck right now.
and Im sure most of the NY people u knew who were moving here came here because they thought it was cheap? that seems to be the consenses when I talk to other Nyker's, dh and I born and raised in Ny and left for NJ when I was 30 and had been there for the last 10 years or so...We love it here as this is home for us, and our only regret is that we didnt make the move sooner...remember too it all has to do with mentality, it is certainly a change of pace here and can be a culture shock for some, but like a poster said its what you make of it because lord knows I cant find any reason to go back to Ny or Nj even though our family and some friends are still there...Charlotte is definitely NOT for everyone
The whole us "natives" were here first and were fine before you all came along is one thing that really irks me and can come off as backwards (also the mayor of Fort Mill and how he was "just curious" if Obama is the anti-christ - sorry I couldn't resist - some things like that can come off as backwards thinking). I think for the most part this area is pretty progressive however there are sometimes comments and other things that seem to set us backwards instead of forwards.
Certain places are for certain people and people here really need to stop being so sensitive if someone doesn't like it. At the same time, if you don't like it, you don't have to make a post knocking it because it doesn't do anything but stir up trouble.
Mike, I think you have misesd the point. No one wants to see Wachovia leave; no one wants to see even ONE job cut. But to say Charlotte is nothing w/o banking is just wrong. And the other thing is - the media has pumped this up into utter doom and gloom - and we don't even know how many jobs may be lost.
I personally agree w/ what you said earlier . . . no use assuming the worst. Let's hope for the best and see where it leads us in the months to come.
Any new transplants want to leave Charlotte already? PART 2
Y, WOW is all I can say to you people, I was only looking for people with similar experiences.. I didn't expect so many people to tell me "don't let the door hit you on the way out" Thanks for that! I'll be sure to tell all the LIers that line when they want to move here.
Anyway, I wanted to say that i DID visit before moving here ..and actually it wasn't a direct move from NY, we came from a few month stay in Kentucky to here in Charlotte.. so of course Charlotte appeared better than KY! (It's a long story) Anything is better than KY! But anyway, I suppose it's because I am newly married and young and I never had to deal with having a house in NY and all the big struggling financial situations.. I was in my parents house until I was married, so it was different for me. I guess it is just a culture shock for me (I like busy-ness and a billion stores.. I'm not ready for peaceful quiet neighborhoods surrounded by woods.. perhaps when we have kids i'll want that) and Charlotte is just not for me and my husband. I was just looking for people that might have felt similar but apparently I found none. We personally cannot go back to NY because we would like a house and right now it's just not possible to chalk up 400,000 for one! And I live in North Charlotte.. which I do not recommed at all. I have to say, I think our experience of Charlotte would be way different had we moved to the south end. Also my family is not here, I think that is what does not help at all. But anyway, sorry to offend you southerners ... gee whiz.
Last edited by SunnyKayak; 09-30-2008 at 07:47 AM..
Reason: merge threads
Just let it go...
Do what your gut tells you to do. Go home.
People don't like it when others insult their home, that's why you got such a strong reaction.
If you had come on this forum and stated: "I think I may have made a mistake in moving to Charlotte...has anyone else had that experience?" You might have gotten kinder responses, IMO.
In response to your question, I have periodically considered leaving the Charlotte area, for a multitude of reasons.
The biggest one (no surprise) is homesickness. I've moved out of my comfort zone. I think this reaction is quite normal. What wasn't normal was the extensive period of deep depression I went through, trying to adjust. Imagine that, a military veteran shaken to the core by a move she initiated. Go figure.
My second reason is even after two years, I feel isolated despite reaching out to people, being sociable, volunteering extensively at my childrens schools, etc. I don't have horns or anything. I don't even smell (at least I hope not). And sometimes I am even a good conversationalist. But, people seem distant. There's a level of friendliness or rather politeness but a lot of it is superficial.
I also have difficulty with the need to drive everywhere, the lack of sidewalks and the inability to give my children a longer leash. The wide spread availability of public transportation back home meant that as a young teen, if I wanted to get to the library, it was my job to get there. I feel like I'll be driving my kids for a lifetime. And I also feel like that in a sense, I've robbed them of a measure of independence.
And finally, I was never able to secure satisfying employment. It's been a heck of an adjustment. I was the main wage earner in Jersey and now I am mostly a Stay-At-Home-Mom. I still have trouble with that realization. I have difficulty accepting that Target wouldn't even hire me last year! (My family in Jersey would never guess I even applied.) Yeah, crazy I know. A lot of women would love to be in my position. But like a lot of people, unfortunately, I think a good bit of my self-worth was linked to my employment and my ability to provide for my family to the extent that we had everything we needed and wanted.
Now having said all of the above, I'd never move back to Jersey. My grandparents followed us here. Their presence has actually eased my emotions. My grandmother and I find comfort in each other. I also can't imagine the dramatic change in our quality of life if we moved back to Jersey due to economics. As hard as we tried, we knew we could never purchase our home. We were destined, like so many young families we knew living in the NYC metro area, to be lifelong renters. I wanted my piece of the American Dream too. We've found that here.
My husband's heart will always be in Jersey but he is happy here. (He is really the social butterfly, charming and really good at endearing people and he generally fits in no matter the setting.) But we left behind two adult children, and an infant (now toddler) grandson. THAT was painful. But they don't want to be here. Their lives are in the city.
Monroe (Union County) is our adopted hometown. We have good neighbors, I feel safe, I enjoy seeing the stars at night (my children are particularly tickled by that). Sometimes I like being recognized while out in town, and sometimes I don't (quite an adjustment to regularly see people who know me and be approached by them in the supermarket, mall, etc). It all just takes time. Transitions are never easy. Perhaps if you give it some more time? Reach out to more people? Join a social organization? Guilt family members into relocating? If I come up with any other ideas, I'll let you know.
But in the mean time, I wish you peace and a sound mind. If you need to go back home, do so. Starting over isn't easy but it's definitely doable. Life is too short to be unhappy.
Blessings,
Sara
Last edited by SunnyKayak; 09-30-2008 at 07:46 AM..
Reason: merge the threads
Well you got a house here in charlotte? Do you like that? You mentioned that you wanted one but can't afford one in NY. Maybe try focusing on the fact that you have a beautiful home whereas in NY you would probably be living in a small 1 bdr apartment or an old house. Do you guys have jobs? Many people in Charlotte and NY have lost their jobs or in the process of losing them especially considering with Lehman Bros filing for bankruptcy and Wachovia being bought out.
I'm an original NYer, I defintely miss it there, but I love having the peace of mind of actually having an emergency fund and savings in Charlotte more. Nothing tops that!
A therapist once told me that life's biggest stressors are moving, changing jobs, divorce and death. I think that's generally acknowledged by society.
We moved here in 2006. In 2006 we also adopted children, my mother died prematurely at 48, I divorced and remarried, we purchased a home (which involved moving out of state), my employment status changed and the grandbaby was born. I literally fell apart days after closing on our new home, went into sheer panic and demanded that my husband agree to abandon this place at all costs. I even thought I might go back to Jersey with or without him. And again, I initiated the move!
I understand the feelings you are relaying. Moving always sucks. Relocating to a new area brings out our insecurities. It's difficult finding a new platform to make connections. I think your reaction is normal. I also think it was OK to post here. I understand other posters sensitivity on the subject but at the same time I can sympathize with you. People whom have been in one general area their entire lives don't know how disconcerting this experience can be (and this is not a put down!).
People hated Jersey all around me, I heard it all the time. I never took it personal. It's home but I have no claims on ownership and heck, some of the jokes and digs are funny and true (I do identify people by what turnpike or parkway exit they live at, I am abrasive, I do speak too loudly at times, I've been guilty of saying things like "youse guys", etc.). Despite all of that and despite this being my adopted home, Jersey is my origin and it will likely always be obvious to an observer. Being here I hear the jokes about my accent, my style of dress, lifestyle, parenting choices, etc. It's all a transition. Take it in stride. Overall, I don't think people mean to inflict pain. We're just not as conscious (good grief I can't spell that word) as we should be about other people's situations.
Don't let the gas shortage stop your trip back up 95.
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Any new transplants want to leave Charlotte already? PART 2
