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And that is real progress! Every time Kitty has an encounter with the OP is which Kitty knew he was vulnerable but nothing bad actually happened to him, that's one step closer to Kitty realizing that Serious Conversation is not in fact a cat-eating monster, but is in fact harmless. He needs more such experiences - a lot more (which may be difficult given that the OP isn't retired but has to work).
Quote:
Originally Posted by motownnative
My two cents is this neighbor dog may be a huge part of the problem. He can hear the dog occasionally but can't SEE or smell the dog and has found a safe hiding place. This is his survival instinct kicking in.
That is a very astute observation!
Quote:
Originally Posted by motownnative
This kitten sounds like it may have been only been semi socialized when young (very common) and that's why it's taking so long.
I wouldn't be surprised if the lady who was fostering him at the rescue was the only person Kitty ever saw on a regular basis. We all lead busy lives, so forgetting to expose our young animals to a wide variety of people when they are most open to new experiences is a mistake many of us quite innocently make. Socializing a youngster (of any species) to people is a LOT of work!
Here's hoping Kitty keeps gaining confidence and becomes more comfortable and less fearful.
And that is real progress! Every time Kitty has an encounter with the OP is which Kitty knew he was vulnerable but nothing bad actually happened to him, that's one step closer to Kitty realizing that Serious Conversation is not in fact a cat-eating monster, but is in fact harmless. He needs more such experiences - a lot more (which may be difficult given that the OP isn't retired but has to work).
That is a very astute observation!
I wouldn't be surprised if the lady who was fostering him at the rescue was the only person Kitty ever saw on a regular basis. We all lead busy lives, so forgetting to expose our young animals to a wide variety of people when they are most open to new experiences is a mistake many of us quite innocently make. Socializing a youngster (of any species) to people is a LOT of work!
Here's hoping Kitty keeps gaining confidence and becomes more comfortable and less fearful.
Yep, or he spent a lot of time with other kittens and is alone now. If the OP can bear with me as this could get a little long; (he clearly wants help or wouldn't be posting- so no judgement here - just stressing PATIENCE as there is a bit of obvious progress to be seen) I will share my frustrating story of introducing new cats if it helps. I work outside the home too. I always encourage people who work to get two kittens or a bonded pair. It helps with confidence in a new environment and just makes it easier.
My beagle which started out as a feral 10 mo. old puppy (he was found in the woods with no signs of socialization and no rescues here would take a dog like that) was raised with me and 4 elderly cats. He was terrified of everything including the cats as he had never seen one. After many MONTHS grew to love them and follow them everywhere. Fast forward years- When the last cat passed at 16 and he was 9 I debated long and hard whether to get another cat. I knew my beagle would never hurt even a small kitten. However, I also knew if I got a cat or kitten from a shelter I would have no idea if they had ever SEEN a dog and the feeling may not be mutual. (If you feel your situation is not the neighbor dog insert anything "strange" and scary to him and it should apply just the same)
To be safe in case there was a transition period, I got a bonded mother and daughter pair that played fantastically together and had no fear of anything. I was told their history: they were living with 4 other cats with a homeless veteran in his van. (This man would rather live outside before giving his cats up and was spending much of his SSI on cat food). This is terribly sad for all but the cats were socialized to everything and quite fearless living like that. Extremely healthy too. Strangers were approaching his van helping with food, etc. The VA intervened and found him an apartment that would allow him to keep two cats and 4 went to a shelter.
Well, the worst happened. Even with all of that prior socialization to strangers the friendliest cats you could imagine (also the friendliest in the shelter at that time) hid under the bed for two weeks from my dog. They clearly reacted like they had never seen one before. They were terrified just HEARING him in another part of the house. I felt SO guilty over this, was totally frustrated and considered returning them for their own sake.
With effort, I stayed patient as at least I knew the two cats had each other for comfort. (That's part of why I recommend two - many unknown variables are at play with a shelter cat or kitten and it can take a LONG time to acclimate). I totally get your frustration as I was ready to give up many days too. Please remember your kitten is ALONE so it's worse and could take longer. If he ripped out a place under the mattress where he smelled other cats have been that might be security for him.
In my case, I of course separated the two cats from the dog when at work. I eventually got a cat condo so they could sneak out and get up high and watch the dog. I saw faster progress then as in my case SEEING the dog and realizing that he was just a silly, harmless beagle was the ticket. (think about it - if YOU can hear the neighbor dog, what's the kitten thinking? From what you describe this big dog is just across a wall).
One day after MONTHS I came home from work to not only seeing my beagle greeting me at the door as usual but both cats too. It's been like this every day since and they are all the best of friends now and sleep together. Hope sharing this helps a bit. I was SO frustrated too but it worked out. I strongly feel "something" is scaring this cat and it's not just you.
Now that I know where he is, I think it will be much easier going. I can at least talk to him and we can see each other. The hole is open and he’s been downstairs, but is no longer getting in there. It’s a little bit of progress from him being somewhere completely inaccessible to literally right underneath me at night.
Now that I know where he is, I think it will be much easier going. I can at least talk to him and we can see each other. The hole is open and he’s been downstairs, but is no longer getting in there. It’s a little bit of progress from him being somewhere completely inaccessible to literally right underneath me at night.
treats that he can see came from you will help. And the talking.
I literally sat outside to talked to 'my' feral and I know it helped.
Which hole is open? The one he was in all this time?
treats that he can see came from you will help. And the talking.
The way to any animal's heart is through its stomach! How bad a monster can Serious Conversation be if Kitty can see he's leaving little bits of tasty chicken and tuna around?
The way to any animal's heart is through its stomach! How bad a monster can Serious Conversation be if Kitty can see he's leaving little bits of tasty chicken and tuna around?
Same with scared dogs every encounter needs to have a good result.
Now that I know where he is, I think it will be much easier going. I can at least talk to him and we can see each other. The hole is open and he’s been downstairs, but is no longer getting in there. It’s a little bit of progress from him being somewhere completely inaccessible to literally right underneath me at night.
If you already don't, you might want to talk to him in whispers. I think it's more soothing to the cat.
I do real talk. As in expecting the cat to understand me. I had a BIG set back with my feral. I went outside when I saw him and sat down and told him I was sorry, explained why it happened, etc. I said I need you to trust me to get you well. You are really sick, you're going to have to let me take you to the Dr!
One day he just walked inside and head bunted me. Like, ok, you win. All of a sudden I could pet, pick him up, put him in the carrier. He would have been a good pet but he was too far gone. Had to be PTS. I thought of him as mine because I worked on him outside for two years! Sad. But I am glad he went peaceful and no more wandering from semi safe place to another.
Now that I know where he is, I think it will be much easier going. I can at least talk to him and we can see each other. The hole is open and he’s been downstairs, but is no longer getting in there. It’s a little bit of progress from him being somewhere completely inaccessible to literally right underneath me at night.
It's a good sign that he feels safe in a place that must (to him) smell like you. Keep talking to him, and let spring come and see where you are. Did you blink back at him?
Something else is that when we got our cat, we think the shelter was all women fostering and socializing the cats. She (our cat) liked my husband and ran from anyone else male for a little while. Even with the H, he took a nap one day and she walked up and down him, getting a good sniff, possibly wondering why he was a little different from all the other nice people she knew.
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It's been like this every day since and they are all the best of friends now and sleep together. Hope sharing this helps a bit. I was SO frustrated too but it worked out. I strongly feel "something" is scaring this cat and it's not just you.
How bad a monster can Serious Conversation be if Kitty can see he's leaving little bits of tasty chicken and tuna around?
