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I find it interesting that people in general have so many criteria when adopting an animal, not just a cat. Color of fur, length of fur, outgoing personality or not, any physical defects that might be unattractive. If people were judged in the same manner, we'd all be in a world of trouble.
The truth is you have no idea of an animals personality until you bring that animal home and give it a few weeks for it's true personality to emerge. Often times, it's been my personal experience that the best animals to adopt are the ones others have rejected because they aren't as pretty or outgoing. Those have been some of the best cats and dogs I've ever had, the ones with one eye, the one that is afraid in a shelter and hides in a corner, and the one that wasn't the perfect color. They have given me the most joy and given me the most love in return for adopting them.
I find it interesting that people in general have so many criteria when adopting an animal, not just a cat. Color of fur, length of fur, outgoing personality or not, any physical defects that might be unattractive. If people were judged in the same manner, we'd all be in a world of trouble.
The truth is you have no idea of an animals personality until you bring that animal home and give it a few weeks for it's true personality to emerge. Often times, it's been my personal experience that the best animals to adopt are the ones others have rejected because they aren't as pretty or outgoing. Those have been some of the best cats and dogs I've ever had, the ones with one eye, the one that is afraid in a shelter and hides in a corner, and the one that wasn't the perfect color. They have given me the most joy and given me the most love in return for adopting them.
Yeah. That's the superficial vs. the core critter, which cannot really be determined until, as you say, kitty comes home and sniffs around for a while.
People should try to understand that adoption is a two-way street. We have to adapt to a new cat, cat has to adapt to completely new environment. I'd say cat has the bigger adjustment.
Maybe like buying a car. Is it pretty and the right color, or do I like the way it drives? I go for how it drives.
I'm really glad we adopted our sweet, funny, loving, not-wanted cats. There were more, of course, and we don't want any kitty to live its life out in a shelter. When we adopted Molly and River, there were 12 new arrivals whose parents had recently died in a car wreck. Talk about a lost world.
Well, I am not stuck into tabby. Discussed with my friend simple situation: I walk into shelter, some black cat rushes to me,starts to showing her interest. Friend asked what would I do then. I told I would have the only choice - to adopt.
So, colour may be an object to discuss/reconsider. Health issues is not an option to reconsider (call me bad person if you wish).
I am really frustrated. All of my visits to shelters ended in fails. This one is nice - oh, dear visitor, she is preparing to her way home. That one is nice, yet does not even pay attention to me. This one looks good...untill attacks my nose. Oh, that one is nice, never did anything wrong...untill biting my hand. Then this tabby should be perfect - except it shows zero interest to me. That three-coloured "with physcial defect" (I have never noticed) - could be an option - yeah, got new owner and that's not me.
I do not take adoption too easy. It's a really complicated matter. I am choosing who would live with for neariest, say, 15 years. One who would need attention, care, would get old, would need much care untill death. I do want harmony between me and cat, cat and me.
One day I would visit shelter. If there are no adult tabbies and/or no cat shows me attention - just leave?
I think your perception of cats is wrong. You are expecting them to behave like dogs: pay you attention, love you with hesitation and be obedient and nice at all times.
That is what dogs do, most will want to approach with some convincing and a treat.
You walked into a room with free roaming CATS or in cages. Did you offer your hand for them to smell prior to contact? Did you avoid eye contact? Did you notice the tail was swinging back and forth prior to the bite? Was it a love bite or a real bite? Many who appears to be sleeping in a cat room is actually avoiding conflict with the other cats near you by staying away. You will have to go to them, and many, even if asleep, will purr when gently awaken by a stroke of your hand.
Cats don't operate in anyone's terms but their own. You EARN their respect. Believe me, they see you, smell you and are completely aware of your presence. However, they don't know you. Cats give their attention to those they think they can trust. Of course, some are more outgoing than others, but in a shelter or rescue environment, they are stressed out from being overcrowded, from hearing dog barking around the corner, and from being moved from cage to cage with no sense of security or belonging as they are territorial animals.
Once a cat has been removed from said environment and settles down in your home, they change. They blossom. They learn to trust you, they begin to form a bond with you, and then the love and genuine affection follows.
I agree, bringing home a pet is signing up a lifetime contract of at least 15 years with that animal. Because you can only save one, being choosy is a good thing. It took me at least 10 different visits in my local shelter as well as an out-of-county shelter for me to adopt ONE pet, and I have 2 dogs, 3 cats and a bunny. All mixed breed or DSH, nothing special in terms of color or looks. But each so unique with its likes and dislikes, own quirks that makes me laugh and each has its own unforgettable personality.
My most recent addition was a black kitten. During both of my visits at the shelter, he would shirk from human contact. As long as he was behind the glass cage, he would respond fine to people. Upon opening the cage to pet or pick him up, his ears flattened, he let out a low growl, his eyes dilate and he crouched down as long as he can to the ground. Kittens, if socialized properly, craves human attention. He did not. When I picked him up, his body was so tense, I could barely examine him prior to adoption. Due to his earlier illnesses, he was not socialized. He recovered over a month ago from his last illness and yet he lingered in the shelter with no interest to get adopted because people had a similar expectation like you: he is missing fur from his mange, he was not approaching people for affection, and he was competing with other colorful, attention-seeking kittens next to his cage. It has been almost 2 weeks. Though he is still shy and skittish around people, he has blossomed in our home. He gained some weight, his fur looks good but still missing hair, and he cuddles with me when he wants to. He no longer growls or act fearful around me.
So your perception on how cats should act is wrong and thus when you bring your cat home, you will always find something you don't like because you have these expectations of how a cat should behave. If you want affection from the start, it will NOT be on your terms. If that is not acceptable to you, perhaps dogs are the better choice for you.
Last edited by cheesenugget; 11-23-2018 at 06:14 AM..
Ha! That is a beautiful story. Kitties have a way of choosing where they think they should go.
We've adopted two pairs of cats. Both times we chose two of the cats who had issues of one sort or another. Issues that in our estimation meant they would live out their lives in the shelter.
Extremely shy. Shelly had been in the shelter three years or more. Would interact with ONE person at the shelter. Maybe past trauma. Scratchy, sent back.
Bizzie was a wild child. Hyperactive and aggressive. It took her two or three years to chill. I still remember one of her first vet visits to Dr. King, The Bestest Vet. He had to use his Hawk Gloves, she was a fireball.
Molly. One bad eye, another shelter was going to snuff her because nobody would want an imperfect animal. The sweetest, she has a very big vocabulary and she and Inky have palled up. They sleep near each other now, from time to time.
River. So shy she hid all the time. Her pooping and peeing issues--yikes! I can't remember the number of times I thought, "These guys just need to go back!" But we stuck it out, a year or so. She's still very shy, she'll let me pet her. I'd guess she had some people trauma because it took a long time for her to come out from under the couch.
Pretty Girl. She was one of the first who'd come to me when I went outside. To feed the birds/squirrels, or later on feed the cats. Pretty Girl had a den about 100' from the garage. She'd see us and she'd charge on over to greet us. She didn't like other cats especially, but she liked my wife and me. She was and is so very sweet and affectionate. We guesstimate she had a loving gwammy/gwampy but for some reason--health, death, mean relatives?--got put out. She was fine outside. Until last winter when it go very very cold, near zero. The other strays seemed fine in the cold, but Pretty Girl was obviously freezing. We brought her into our heated garage and she made some quarters and we made a bed or two and she stayed in during a very cold spell. Then we talked about it and decided to adopt. Checked the lost and founds and saw nothing like her. She's a character.
Inky was getting chased and raped constantly outside. We caught her mother, sister, and pop and took them to the fix it shop. Third time we caught Ink. Vet said we should keep her in her cage for a couple of weeks until she'd recovered and her hormones had dissipated. In her cage, she was the SWEETEST thing, purred and was engaging unlike the other three who were more wild. After two weeks, we were so impressed with her people skills and we also didn't want to release her back out to perhaps more assault and abuse, we kept her in. She is so sweet and playful.
Things work out. We now have two from a shelter--one has the bad eye, which doesn't bother her much, except it weeps a lot from time to time. One was painfully shy and also had all sorts of parasites and also had pooping issues--and two outside cats who either chose us or we chose to remove from an abusive situation. We never planned or expected to have four inside cats. But we do, we love them all, they're all so sweet and adorable, we're blessed.
BTW, orange tabbies...ha, I/we've had two, both were very full of life and other stuff. Personality.
Thank you for taking in those kitties and taking a chance on them. I think many people think too hard and are too demanding of their choices, and will take forever to pick the right one. Sometimes you just have to go with your gut instinct and sometimes you have to be willing to work with what you have.
I forgot to mention but even if a cat appears healthy at the time of adoption, and received a medical exam prior, it is common for the new cat or kitten to develop symptoms of a kitty cold (URI) after a few days in your home. Shelters and rescues always have URI, no matter how hard they try to control it. This virus thrives in crowded environment, plus stress on a cat, you get yourself a kitty cold.
If the cat develops a cold in 3-5 days, it came from the shelter. If the cat is doing well with no sign of URI in about 7 days or more, you are in the clear, especially if that cat already went through a cold. A vet cannot do much but prescribe antibiotics. TLC, warm wet food (force feed if necessary), and a warm quiet place will bring that cat back to health. If you can't be bothered with that or the risk of a cat bringing home URI, then don't bother. It will the stress the cat out more of having being adopted then returned.
I forgot to mention but even if a cat appears healthy at the time of adoption, and received a medical exam prior, it is common for the new cat or kitten to develop symptoms of a kitty cold (URI) after a few days in your home. Shelters and rescues always have URI, no matter how hard they try to control it. This virus thrives in crowded environment, plus stress on a cat, you get yourself a kitty cold.
If the cat develops a cold in 3-5 days, it came from the shelter. If the cat is doing well with no sign of URI in about 7 days or more, you are in the clear, especially if that cat already went through a cold. A vet cannot do much but prescribe antibiotics. TLC, warm wet food (force feed if necessary), and a warm quiet place will bring that cat back to health. If you can't be bothered with that or the risk of a cat bringing home URI, then don't bother. It will the stress the cat out more of having being adopted then returned.
That's what happened to my cat.
Seemed fine first night, but over the next few days cat was visibly wheezing and sneezing. Took it to the vet, and she explained to me the same thing, that this is common for shelter cats that are adopted. The shelter already gave her dose of antibiotics, so vet gave me some eye drops to give her for a week. Cat is still wheezing but otherwise is very high energy and has a good appetite.
Sometimes you have to sit with them for a while before they will warm up to you.
It's definitely not realistic to expect a cat to immediately show you affection, that's not their nature.
My black shelter cat is the very sweetest cat I have ever had, an absolute purring pillow of love. He ignored me for the first 10 minutes we spent in the little room at PetSmart while we chatted with the attendant until I said maybe he's not the cat for us, and then he came and cuddled on my legs. Now that was probably a coincidence.
He too seemed healthy but turned out to have a UR infection. No regrets at all for adopting him.
Another thing that I didn't realize is that it may take a while for male cats to feel the effects of neutering. More so the older it is.
I read that it could take six to eight weeks for the hormones to completely dissipate from the cat's body, so in that time it may still exhibit aggressive behavior.
My recent adoptee (eight days after surgery) was acting weird today, almost like a cat in heat, so that could be the reason.
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