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Thanks, and yes, it is not easy. I am sincere I am genuine but brave has eluded me---more so lately. I feel very lonely right now....even with my DH sitting near me..I still feel lonely. Silence is hard and he has so much to say. It will be a long day. I am trying very hard to keep busy listing things online even though people do not seem to be into buying right now. At least I am trying and also staying busy.
Loneliness is tough; I still haven't cracked that nut.
Keeping busy is good, though it's not quite a substitute for the active lifestyle which we used to lead, is it? No, it's not. When you drop out of your groups and activities, you eventually lose the friends associated with them.
Being a caregiver to a loved one is like being a passenger on the Titanic after it hit the iceberg. You know (eventually) that the ship is sinking, but you don't quite know how much time you have. It's too much time, yet, it's never enough.
Sorry for not being Suzy Sunshine, but being a caregiver just isn't much fun.
You never feel brave in the heat of battle. After the dust has settled, someone else tells you that you were brave. It has always happened that way.
Loneliness is tough; I still haven't cracked that nut.
Keeping busy is good, though it's not quite a substitute for the active lifestyle which we used to lead, is it? No, it's not. When you drop out of your groups and activities, you eventually lose the friends associated with them.
Being a caregiver to a loved one is like being a passenger on the Titanic after it hit the iceberg. You know (eventually) that the ship is sinking, but you don't quite know how much time you have. It's too much time, yet, it's never enough.
Sorry for not being Suzy Sunshine, but being a caregiver just isn't much fun.
You never feel brave in the heat of battle. After the dust has settled, someone else tells you that you were brave. It has always happened that way.
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerania
Loneliness is tough; I still haven't cracked that nut.
...
I'm no psychologist (thank goodness) but...
my loneliness sedative while caregiving is remembering those memories we made together, when the loved one was capable of loving me in their own unique way. They often get hurtful and angry while they are being taken captive by their illness. I put myself in their situation and consider how scared they must be, and feeling guilty of putting you through this pain. (but unable to express or maybe digest these fears.)
If necessary, make a list of memories made together and check it off as you rotate through the feelings of gratitude. Even when the patient is sleeping and drifting into unconsciousness, and beyond. I tell them the great stories of our memories and how I appreciate them. I sing and play their favorite songs, and especially refresh the memories of humorous / silly times together. I am very fortunate to still have a mind that can recall activities to the very detail, including what we ate that day, where we stopped for groceries and gas, the lumpy tire on the rent-a-wreck, the waitress in Georgia that asked if we wanted "Nits" on our Sundae...(being a young married recluse from a Colorado ranch, that took me about 10 questions to figure out what "nits" were...) I seem to have been quite successful in making fools of us in public, and my dear spouse was quite vocal when laughing at me (which I have finally grown to appreciate). Humor these days is more from memories, but you need it anywhere you can find it!
BTW: I always have cd's of the music we enjoyed together. I love the "Repeat" function on the iPod, I might play my spouse's favorite song all night in my earphones while trying to pass the hours away.
That works for loneliness. (for me)
Let someone else detail BRAVE... I don't have a handle on that one (Please pass the tissue, I need one now... just thinking of those great memories, and the tears are rolling)
I'm all for learning more coping skills. At this age I could use them!
BTW II: I don't feel I have lost any of my friends from past activities / contacts due to my caregiving. Everyone has obligations that come up, and I have found my friends very encouraging and receptive to reconnect at a different time and place in our lives. It is a good thing we didn't get instructions / syllabus or map of our life... we would have been running 100mph in the opposite direction All the time!
Good Morning cyn and friends. This is my last day in the USA for a month......we fly to Tokyo tomorrow morning early....I won't be turning on the computer to say "Fare Thee Well" in the morning. (I am sure I will be off and on all day today).
Stealth Rabbit.....such a tender and wise post. It is just beautiful and so "to the point". Thank you for sharing those tools. They are applicable in many situations.
Last edited by elston; 05-18-2014 at 05:47 AM..
Reason: an apostrophe escaped.
Wow! Those thoughts and sentiments are ever so accurately and eloquently said!
Good Morning, everyone! I hope all of you were able to find some peace and solitude to soothe the tired and weary soul which rises to meet the struggle we all must bear in our lives..
May the spirit of peace, tranquility and triumph guide you throughout the hours that tick by.
Always remember you're never truly alone because the spirit of grace is a constant, maybe not seen but dwelleth within your being the very essence of "you"
Good morning friends!
Wow I sure am blessed--look at all of the wonderful thoughts and ideas shared here. I will most assuredly be trying some of them.
Elston have a wonderful memorable trip and be safe my friend. Your daily visits here will be very missed but I know you will be near in your heart! Will be looking forward to your posts here again when you return!
Good morning friends!
Wow I sure am blessed--look at all of the wonderful thoughts and ideas shared here. I will most assuredly be trying some of them.
Elston have a wonderful memorable trip and be safe my friend. Your daily visits here will be very missed but I know you will be near in your heart! Will be looking forward to your posts here again when you return!
Yes Dear Friend.....you will be in my thoughts while I am away. But not to say "Sayonara" just yet...it is a long day. I got up at 5:30 and have been doing house work. We have a friend moving in and taking care of the house and "the girls" and the plants....while we are away. I want to have the house cleaned up before he arrives tonight. (He will sleep here tonight so our leaving will be "seamless" for the girls. They have already had a couple of "getting to know you" visits to make it less difficult. I think this will be a wonderful plan.......AND he is available for shorter visits.....so my honey-bee and I may get to the the Florida Keys or to Miami now without having to worry about the girls.
He is coming for supper......so I have started some baby back ribs in the slow cooker and will put them on the grill tonight to give them a little of that char-grilled flavor and texture. I also made a rotini salad to go with it.
I have to do a little shopping.....some toiletries I realized we don't have a 30 day supply of.....I also have to set up my medications for tonight and pack the rest for the trip.
Somehow church will not be doable this morning...busy busy busy!
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BTDT, and bracing for my next chapter in a similar tunnel.
)
I seem to have been quite successful in making fools of us in public, and my dear spouse was quite vocal when laughing at me (which I have finally grown to appreciate). Humor these days is more from memories, but you need it anywhere you can find it!
