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I am a new caregiver for my wife who has dementia. I am finding this a very difficult task. She wants to be on the go all day and does not want to stay at home for five minutes at a time. She does not calm down until we eat dinner around 5PM. How do I make her stay at home? I have dead bolts on all doors but she constantly fights me to get out and I finally give in. Any and all suggestions appreciated.
Last edited by Scotty011; 06-01-2012 at 03:45 PM..
I am so sorry. being a caregiver is hard work. try to be as kind as possible, give yourself breaks when you can. as long as the weather is good, take her for walks around the block. can you get her into gardening? maybe buying some pretty pots and have her keep busy planting some flowers? is she able to still do things? what about indoor activities like painting or some small craft project?
Have you talked to her doctor about this amount of activity? There are medications that can slow her down a bit. This may just be a temporary thing, but she doesn't need to get into the habit of gogogogogo!!
Do you have the ability to get her into some form of adult daycare to give yourself a break, as well as keeping her active? What level of activities is she still able to do, and does she still wish to interact with others? Is there a pool close, and would she swim? It's so good for the body, keeps the coordination going, and might wear her out I don't say that to be ugly, just that if she is exercising she might get some of the physical stimulation she needs in order to calm down maybe a little sooner in the afternoon or evening.
We have something here called Council on Aging and they have much information about how to be a caregiver. There may be more help available than you have discovered such as a senior citizen center--we have that too and it only costs a small amount to join. Get in touch with Social Services and see how they can help. You don't have to be needy for them to help sometimes with day care and housekeeping.
If all else fails, go to the library and ask for books on the subject. There are many good books out there. If your library does not have any, maybe they can get you some through interlibrary loan.
I noticed at some rest homes the women had baby dolls and stuffed animals to care for.
I am a new caregiver for my wife who has dementia. I am finding this a very difficult task. She wants to be on the go all day and does not want to stay at home for five minutes at a time. She does not calm down until we eat dinner around 5PM. How do I make her stay at home? I have dead bolts on all doors but she constantly fights me to get out and I finally give in. Any and all suggestions appreciated.
It is not uncommon for patients with dementia to be hyper, frightened, uncooperative, violent or a danger to themselves or others. And they fixate on one object. My spouse was a non-violent, non-hyper, mellow and not prone to acts of violence. My spouse hid things and was partially incontinent. The "hiders" accuse others of stealing their things. My spouse threw away a $2000 removable bridge, and didn't want it until dinner time. Where was it and why can't I have it? It was an ongoing repetitive battle everyday for weeks.
You need to talk to her doctor. She doesn't need to be a zombie, but it probably won't hurt to administer a low does of something to quiet the brain. I think the Alzheimer drug does wonders, but it did take a couple of weeks before I noticed positive results.
Scotty011, that's such a terrible problem to have. Most states/counties/municipalities have some form of a Council on Aging and they do offer lots of practical help if you haven't gone that route yet. Many of the Alzheimer's day care facilities, designed to give caregivers a break of several hours most week days, have lots of activities suitable to hyperactive patients.
The one in my area shares a building with a children's day care center and the agency that runs it gets the kids and the "grandparents" together for joint activities. The adults get lots of time helping the children with games and crafts that they would never do on their own, but it's good for their brains. And a loving child who doesn't judge can give anyone a lift.
Just a thought: I don't know how you and your wife feel about pets, but they can be a source of activity/comfort for people with cognition issues. If you don't have the strength for a pet, many ASPCAs and AKC chapters can arrange for a therapy dog to "visit" your home to play with someone who would enjoy the attention. I know there have been studies showing that dogs can calm some people with distress issues and many dogs are extraordinarily empathetic with human who are "hurt" in their uncanny perception. Those are the ones the experts train for visitations. American Kennel Club - AKC Therapy Dog Program Therapy Dogs International Psychiatric Service Dog Society
All the best. You and your wife will be in my thoughts. Keep in touch here.
She needs to be evaluated for hyperactivity by her doc. There are meds that will take care of this problem. This is a stage/phase. It won't go on forever. Do some reading and studying. The pacing/constant activity stage is very trying. You wonder where they get the energy. If she wanders and paces at night, insist on sleeping meds. You need to be able to get some rest.
Alzheimer's patients often become fixated on doing something they can't or shouldn't do. Don't even try to argue with them or present rational arguments. They easily become angry and more belligerent. The easiest way to deal with them is to distract them so they focus on something else.
Here's an example. The patient is convinced that Harriet is coming to see her today. Harriet said she was coming. You know Harriet isn't coming. Your patient is probably remembering a visit from Harriet that happened years ago. All you need to do is say OK and you are happy Harriet is coming. Wait a few minutes and tell her Harriet is going to call before she leaves her house so you can go/do/whatever. You will have plenty of time to get back home before Harriet arrives.
If your wife wants to go out, distract her by asking her to help you with something, anything. Give her something to focus on besides going out. Think of things she can do even if they are nonsensical to you. My father spent hours winding yarn into balls to 'help' me. I looked for anything he could do without getting into trouble or hurting himself. Every night I unwound all those balls of yarn so he could do it over again the next day. Animal Planet or movie channels can help too. Older movies she would relate to.
If your wife is a flight risk, consider having the doors alarmed so you will know if she leaves the house. For her safety and your peace of mind.
I want to thank all of you for your advice. I will follow up on the suggestions that I have received. Thank you so much.
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I don't say that to be ugly, just that if she is exercising she might get some of the physical stimulation she needs in order to calm down maybe a little sooner in the afternoon or evening.
Hyperactive brain function in Alzheimer's patients
