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Old School, I found some of your posts recently and wanted to reach out to you. I went through cancer as well and am on the other side since 2017. I read a lot of books on spirituality and I believe, for me, that it was a wake up call. To live in the present moment fully, that we are all where we are supposed to be right here and now. My heart goes out to you and I sincerely wish you well.
Schuttzie, I missed this post on the happiest (NOT! ) Christmas Eve of my life. You have been so decent on City Data, and I had no idea you also dealt with cancer. Especially because you have been the only support on the other, much darker, thread, I want to tell you that you are now on my list of people to keep in my thoughts. I belong to a new Christian denomination called the "Knee Slappers," and we believe that whenever possible, but only when appropriate, humor and above all optimism are the most powerful therapies on the planet.
Stepka, How the heck are you? You've been in my CD prayer list.
I was talking with my gerontologist yesterday, and we got onto the "believing versus not believing in cancer" topic. She knows I'm not a denier, but that in the weeks ensuing after my diagnosis, my behavior had become so directed toward death, I could have been a candidate for self-harm. My religious faith not only prohibits that but offers a kick upside the head about such choices. It's, "Hey, girlfriend! Do you realize how dark your thoughts are? Are you aware how your daily routines have changed so that all your attention is on dying, not living?"
I received so much encouragement from your post when I read it, as I suspect thousands of City-Data readers with cancer also received.
So if you see this and are able, please give us an update. My gerontologist told me about a patient of advanced age suffering from a female cancer. A posh medical center at a distance was talking to her about treatment, and she turned to the lovely doctor we have taking care of us for an opinion. While the doctor always leaves decisions up to patients, she pointed out how all the 1) travel-time; 2) treatment-time; and 3) preparation-for-travel-and-treatment time would eat into however many sands she had left in her piggy bank of time. The lady opted to forego treatment and is alive a year-and-a-half later.
Again, I'm not a denier. I just find that my particular temperament can't embrace cancer. If it chooses to embrace me, well, that's how things will turn out. But I have to focus on other things.
God Bless You!!!
Thank you for this post. My partner has also elected not to have treatment. It's a rare lung cancer and the only way they found it was because they were looking for the cause of neurological symptoms that came on suddenly. Look up paraneoplastic syndrome for more information.
The oral chemo they wanted to try is very harsh on the body and there is no chance of a cure, just the hope that it would slow the cancer's growth. It would involve feeling sick/nausea/diarrhea/possible skin peeling (ugh) for about three months and having to travel into the city for scans and blood tests, and for what? In the hope it will slow the cancer some? When we asked what happens with no treatment, the onocologist kind of hemmed and hawed and said it could grow fast or slow or sometimes fast and then sometimes slow...in other words, they really have no idea and just want to see how or if these drugs would work. So he said no.
Right now he has no pain or other symptoms of the actual cancer, but the paraneoplastic syndrome has done its damage. He's choosing not to have to run back and forth to hospitals and doctors, which is pretty much what life has been for the past six months.
My brother died of prostate cancer when he was 66, he was diagnosed at 61, he had radiation and some kind of hormonal drugs and for about 3 years they told him he was in remission, but then it metastasized and he had to have a drain put in his gallbladder, then it spread to his bones, he fell down a flight of stairs and got numerous fractures on his spine, they operated and put screws and plates up and down his spine and he lived for maybe a year after that. What shocked me is that he didn't realize he was terminal until his last hospitalization when they told him that he should contact any family members or friends who he wanted to say goodbye to. I was sure he knew, who wouldn't? But apparently he convinced himself that he wasn't going to die. It was tough watching him try to come to terms with what was happening to him
what a sad story...x
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) Christmas Eve of my life. You have been so decent on City Data, and I had no idea you also dealt with cancer. Especially because you have been the only support on the other, much darker, thread, I want to tell you that you are now on my list of people to keep in my thoughts. I belong to a new Christian denomination called the "Knee Slappers," and we believe that whenever possible, but only when appropriate, humor and above all optimism are the most powerful therapies on the planet.
