Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Yep. Same here--vegetarian since 1986, non-smoker, very rare drinker. This is why I refuse to fight it. There's a certain... equity, spiritual equity, lost when you do the right thing and earn a kick in the teeth. For me, fighting cancer would only worsen the rage, so I just don't care.
My friends went off the radar when I shared my diagnosis. I'm much more careful whom I tell these days, but it's pretty hard not to talk about. Strangers, mostly, have been extremely kind. Best of luck, sincere wishes for your happiness.
They found cancer in almost 2 million year old human bone. So, what do you think that guy did wrong?
Yep, interesting. The way I look at it is that my DNA was programmed to begin to decay the minute I was born (lifelong GI problems, probably the only six-year-old to carry an enema bottle to grade school in the 60s). Told I had breast cancer in my 30s, did nothing except biopsy, lived. My DNA wasn't scheduled to degrade then. So now I have tongue cancer, almost certainly related to the GI crap--no pun intended --that started sixty years ago. I try to live by a Suck It Up, Buttercup, philosophy.
About ten states have physician-assisted suicide (New Jersey, Vermont, Maine on the east coast). I thought about moving, but I'm too angry. I'm going to hold my breath until I turn blue. Which will really show the Man.
Yep, interesting. The way I look at it is that my DNA was programmed to begin to decay the minute I was born (lifelong GI problems, probably the only six-year-old to carry an enema bottle to grade school in the 60s). Told I had breast cancer in my 30s, did nothing except biopsy, lived. My DNA wasn't scheduled to degrade then. So now I have tongue cancer, almost certainly related to the GI crap--no pun intended --that started sixty years ago. I try to live by a Suck It Up, Buttercup, philosophy.
About ten states have physician-assisted suicide (New Jersey, Vermont, Maine on the east coast). I thought about moving, but I'm too angry. I'm going to hold my breath until I turn blue. Which will really show the Man.
I am so sorry you are having to deal with tongue cancer. And, yes, I live in a state with legal euthanasia. I suppose it's a valid option towards the end.
I was that angry when I got hit by the SUV (and for about 15 years afterwards). I was angry with my Oncologist when the anesthesiologist killed me and resuscitated me (ICU ventilator, etc.) to get the biopsy (well, still not as angry as the vehicular assault). People fall away with accidents and cancer (built back after accident and then had more drop off with cancer). It is what it is. But, I am watch and wait (going on year 7) and I have come to terms with death (though I am still prepping). My Onc says with the type of cancer I have it is what will kill me (but, he said actually if I had diabetes that would kill me faster).
I am not angry that I did everything right . Because of the horrible accident that hobbled me my mobility issues did not allow me to have the same general health. My coping mechanisms haven't been the best (the PTSD is interesting to deal with). When I was younger and pre-disability I was very disciplined with diet and exercise (but, the pay off was immediate and I never thought of it too much for the long term benefits, but, rather, that I felt great "now."). You could choose to look at it that way (many, many, many other benefits were accrued due to your lifestyle). We are going to a better place when we do go...
I am so sorry you are having to deal with tongue cancer... . We are going to a better place when we do go...
Thank you so much for this response. Yes, you're definitely correct about being glad I "did it right." Actually, "building upon a firm foundation" lets cancer huff and puff and blow the house down, and you're, like, okay, cancer. I fought the good fight from when I was young and I know it.
Yes--cancer can't take that kind of DNA away from you. Your seven-year fight is phenomenal, as are the other protracted battles I have read about on this thread.
I hope you have a great December! Ha, City-Data told me I "liked" too many of your posts, or I definitely would have liked this one.
Thank you so much for this response. Yes, you're definitely correct about being glad I "did it right." Actually, "building upon a firm foundation" lets cancer huff and puff and blow the house down, and you're, like, okay, cancer. I fought the good fight from when I was young and I know it.
Yes--cancer can't take that kind of DNA away from you. Your seven-year fight is phenomenal, as are the other protracted battles I have read about on this thread.
I hope you have a great December! Ha, City-Data told me I "liked" too many of your posts, or I definitely would have liked this one.
It's very interesting. I am only a little way into it but it talks about that cancer has been around forever so it is nt from modern living. Another good book is The Emperor of All Maladies by Siddhartma Mukherjee.
Yep. Same here--vegetarian since 1986, non-smoker, very rare drinker. This is why I refuse to fight it. There's a certain... equity, spiritual equity, lost when you do the right thing and earn a kick in the teeth. For me, fighting cancer would only worsen the rage, so I just don't care.
My friends went off the radar when I shared my diagnosis. I'm much more careful whom I tell these days, but it's pretty hard not to talk about. Strangers, mostly, have been extremely kind. Best of luck, sincere wishes for your happiness.
Old School, I found some of your posts recently and wanted to reach out to you. I went through cancer as well and am on the other side since 2017. I read a lot of books on spirituality and I believe, for me, that it was a wake up call. To live in the present moment fully, that we are all where we are supposed to be right here and now. My heart goes out to you and I sincerely wish you well.
Well, that’s the problem with “positive thinking.” As a cancer survivor myself, I see way too much of this in the cancer community. I just resisted posting on a FB thread about positive thinking. Scrolling though the 800+ comments, I mostly saw people saying that positive thinking (praying, often) was really helpful for them and many others saying they were doing their best to “stay positive.” There were a sprinkling of comments about accepting loss and recognizing and processing grief.
Anyway, I think that instead of trying to “think positive,” there are different better ways of being at various moments in the cancer journey. More particularly, I think it is really helpful to try to be as objective as possible when it comes to choosing among various treatments, tests, what have you. Essentially, whenever you need to make an important choice, it really helps to at least attempt to be as realistic as possible, listen to your doctors, listen to yourself, look at the research, communicate openly with others, then make the choice you think is best, based on that reflection.
Then, once the choice has been made, instead of “thinking positive,” I think it is best to compartmentalize — accept the reality of cancer (and maybe realizing you are terminal), mourn the loss, then “forget” again and enjoy life and love it to the fullest to the best of your ability every hour and every day. Maybe “living life to the fullest,” will mean lying in bed exhausted instead of being guilted into doing something you don’t want to do when you are exhausted. Or maybe it will mean doing something you need to do when you are literally “sick and tired,” but minus the self-pity and anger you might have otherwise added to the mix of negative emotions. Or maybe it will mean having unexpected moments of grace.
The problem with “thinking positive” (or refusing to accept the reality that you are terminal) is that paradoxically in hoping and trying to think positively about the cancer and your treatment, you are still focused on the cancer. And why focus on the cancer at all (once your decisions are made)? Is always thinking about your cancer and your treatment (even if “posivitely”) really a great way to live?
[Steps down from soapbox]
Jill, I like your post. I went through breast cancer in 2017, chemo and surgery. I refused to engage in hatred of the cancer or of my body. After all, my body created these cells which are part of me. I didn’t go around either about positivity. It just is what it is and all I can do is live in the moment, whatever happens happens and that is OK.
Stepka, How the heck are you? You've been in my CD prayer list.
I was talking with my gerontologist yesterday, and we got onto the "believing versus not believing in cancer" topic. She knows I'm not a denier, but that in the weeks ensuing after my diagnosis, my behavior had become so directed toward death, I could have been a candidate for self-harm. My religious faith not only prohibits that but offers a kick upside the head about such choices. It's, "Hey, girlfriend! Do you realize how dark your thoughts are? Are you aware how your daily routines have changed so that all your attention is on dying, not living?"
I received so much encouragement from your post when I read it, as I suspect thousands of City-Data readers with cancer also received.
So if you see this and are able, please give us an update. My gerontologist told me about a patient of advanced age suffering from a female cancer. A posh medical center at a distance was talking to her about treatment, and she turned to the lovely doctor we have taking care of us for an opinion. While the doctor always leaves decisions up to patients, she pointed out how all the 1) travel-time; 2) treatment-time; and 3) preparation-for-travel-and-treatment time would eat into however many sands she had left in her piggy bank of time. The lady opted to forego treatment and is alive a year-and-a-half later.
Again, I'm not a denier. I just find that my particular temperament can't embrace cancer. If it chooses to embrace me, well, that's how things will turn out. But I have to focus on other things.
God Bless You!!!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
--that started sixty years ago. I try to live by a Suck It Up, Buttercup, philosophy.
