Aussie girl moving with blk american to Atlanta! (Douglasville, Carrollton: rent, public schools)

[SoloStar]

All I can tell you is to grow a thick skin and get ready. Not everyone is going to say anything to you, but there will be those black women who will definitely let you know they don't appreciate you being with a black man, especially if he's about anything. In general, women outnumber men but the lopsided numbers have more of a negative impact in the black community. There just aren't enough eligible and available men to go around, and when resources become limited, competition for those limited resources gets intense. This concept is found in nature and economics.

Just whatever you do, do not buy into the negative stereotypes of black women that are portrayed in the media and by some black men who have had a few bad experiences with black women. And, if you do find yourself buying into it, keep it to yourself. No matter how angry you may get, don't take it upon yourself to lecture black women on why you think they don't have a man, or whatever else, based on the stereotypes you're going to undoubtedly learn once you get here. Trust me, you really don't want to do that, LOL.

I'm not trying to scare you, but you wanted the real deal on your special concern about black women's reactions to your relationship. You're getting this information directly from the source. Of course, I don't speak for all black women. But, I think what I've written here is fair-handed and even, and accurate (even if parts are not politically correct).

Oh, as far as the age difference goes, it's not going to matter. Your boyfriend may playfully get teased about "robbing the cradle", but it's not going to be an issue. You're over 18 and legal, so unless he started romancing you when you were still legally a child, nobody is going to have anything to say. Good luck to you.

Originally Posted by missb2918

Oh and also to somebodys question, yes my boyfriend is attractive and gets quite a bit of female attention already as it is (more so at work because he works at a fitness centre) but in saying that, most of my friends would not date him because they are not as attracted to black men as they are to white men. (and the black men in sydney are very limited! ) So I have felt pretty secure in the fact that I dont have much competition in Sydney to deal with! This is why I'd like to know what to expect from black women when I get to Atlanta because another reason I neglected to mention in my original post is our age difference. I am 22 and he is 38 and we have had many people judge us here in Sydney so I am expecting the same treatment in the states only worse because I'll also have to deal with racism!

[lastminutemom]

You didn't answer the question about how you intend to work legally-- that will be an issue and unless you are married, you may have quite a bit of trouble getting a visa and work permit.

[missb2918]

We are planning to announce our engagement in August (too many family issues to deal with right now to worry about it) and hopefully get married by the start of next year. We want to get married in Hawaii as that was our first vacation together so I think I would be on the visa with the intent to marry within 90 days of arrival to the US. Not clear on the name of the visa or the details but we'll be helped out by his brother who is a lawyer.

[RoslynHolcomb]

Originally Posted by SoloStar

But, I couldn't help but be amused that you picked up on that vibe from the black women in your office, although I think you pegged their motivation incorrectly as I don't think it's because they're pervs, but that's not a topic for this board, so I'll leave that alone, LOL.

That Tifton comment made me ROTFLOL.

Yeah, I thought that was funny too. And no, I don't think they were pervy, either.

[RainyRainyDay]

Originally Posted by missb2918

We are planning to announce our engagement in August (too many family issues to deal with right now to worry about it) and hopefully get married by the start of next year. We want to get married in Hawaii as that was our first vacation together so I think I would be on the visa with the intent to marry within 90 days of arrival to the US. Not clear on the name of the visa or the details but we'll be helped out by his brother who is a lawyer.

OK, missb, that sounds like a workable plan. Congratulations on your future engagement.

[j0ja]

Metro Atlanta has many interracial couples and that is a good thing. I think most of them feel comfortable in most areas of Atlanta. However, you are going to get stared at here when out in public: it is unfortunate, but some will do that. I don't think you will encounter much overt hostility, however, if you live in Carrollton or some place a good distance from Atlanta, people will generally not be as accepting of interracial couples. If you live near downtown Atlanta, it is generally less of an issue. I think people are more accepting nowadays of interracial marriage, but of course not all.

[missb2918]

I think its so silly that I even have to be worrying about this because its just skin colour people!! No one has any right to judge anyone just on their skin colour its completely ridiculous. I guess I'll be soaking up the non-judgemental environment here in Sydney as much as I can before I get hit with it in the US!

And Solostar, I am quite sensitive so please wish me luck on growing a thick skin!

[atlantagreg30127]

Originally Posted by missb2918

I think its so silly that I even have to be worrying about this because its just skin colour people!! No one has any right to judge anyone just on their skin colour its completely ridiculous. I guess I'll be soaking up the non-judgemental environment here in Sydney as much as I can before I get hit with it in the US! And Solostar, I am quite sensitive so please wish me luck on growing a thick skin!

It's call HUMANITY, sweetheart.

As long as there are humans, there will be prejudice. It's part of the human makeup. People want to be around "their own kind" and if someone comes along who isn't one of their own kind, they will be met with suspicion and in some cases, prejudice.

It doesn't matter how liberal minded or open someone is - every single living human being has prejudice within them. Every single one. It's a modern trendy thing to try to be socially conscious and hold the hands of the world and sing Kum-ba-yah, but in truth, it's going against human nature when you try to force that on people. Yes, certainly, people need to learn to be more civil with each other and accept the fact that not everyone in the world is like them, but I will repeat - every single human has within them prejudice thoughts. Everyone.

And before the topic of how horribly prejudice Amercians are compared to Australians - let's remind folks about the Cronulla Riots just outside of Sydney a few years back (that has never happened here): 2005 Cronulla riots - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

So stop worrying about what others will think of you here. No one will hunt you down or shoot you. Just live your life and treat others like you want to be treated and move on with life, otherwise, husband can just fly home to visit family on a regular basis and you all can stay in Sydney if it worries you that much (which it seems to be).

[missb2918]

woah! settle down cranky pants! Cant I have an opinion too? I totally agree with most of the things you said but I also think Australia has a very laid back attitude in general and racism isnt that much of an issue here. The cronulla riots were started by people who moved to Australia, set up their little neighbourhood and decided to exclude australians and burn the flag and start tension between the groups.

Anyway, looks like I'll just see how it goes on my holiday there in a few weeks and if I run into alot of people like you atlantagreg, I guess I'll stick to Sydney.

Thanks all for your comments everyone.

Originally Posted by atlantagreg30127

It's call HUMANITY, sweetheart.

As long as there are humans, there will be prejudice. It's part of the human makeup. People want to be around "their own kind" and if someone comes along who isn't one of their own kind, they will be met with suspicion and in some cases, prejudice.

It doesn't matter how liberal minded or open someone is - every single living human being has prejudice within them. Every single one. It's a modern trendy thing to try to be socially conscious and hold the hands of the world and sing Kum-ba-yah, but in truth, it's going against human nature when you try to force that on people. Yes, certainly, people need to learn to be more civil with each other and accept the fact that not everyone in the world is like them, but I will repeat - every single human has within them prejudice thoughts. Everyone.

And before the topic of how horribly prejudice Amercians are compared to Australians - let's remind folks about the Cronulla Riots just outside of Sydney a few years back (that has never happened here): 2005 Cronulla riots - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

So stop worrying about what others will think of you here. No one will hunt you down or shoot you. Just live your life and treat others like you want to be treated and move on with life, otherwise, husband can just fly home to visit family on a regular basis and you all can stay in Sydney if it worries you that much (which it seems to be).

[atlantagreg30127]

Originally Posted by missb2918

woah! settle down cranky pants! Cant I have an opinion too? I totally agree with most of the things you said but I also think Australia has a very laid back attitude in general and racism isnt that much of an issue here. The cronulla riots were started by people who moved to Australia, set up their little neighbourhood and decided to exclude australians and burn the flag and start tension between the groups.

Anyway, looks like I'll just see how it goes on my holiday there in a few weeks and if I run into alot of people like you atlantagreg, I guess I'll stick to Sydney.

I wasn't being cranky. I could care less if you move here or not. But the, "Oh god help me I'm scared because I'm moving to big bad America where I'll be beat up for having a black husband" bit was getting old. Having black husbands was the trendy thing to do in the 90s here, anyway. It's 2008 now. If anything most people here will just go, "Oh - look, a black husband. Well I have an Asian husband - so there!".

And yes, you are FAR too sensitive. You won't make it here long if you don't learn to roll with it and take comments for what they are when asked for them. Spend a Saturday night at a black club downtown with your husband and after those gals finish with their comments I promise you - I'll look like Mickey Mouse in a leotard compared to that. So stiffen up your sensitivity level and loosen up, or you'd better make sure your Delta ticket has a return option 'cause you'll spend most of your time crying here otherwise. You're 22 - not 12. They're just people. Move on.