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If you come from illionois or california they wont take to good to you. If you come from west virginia or north dakota...welcome..yer in da same boat
Many Wisconsinites will agree there is some bad feeling toward Illinois. I grew up with the extreme rivalry, and even my cousins in the North Woods and on into Minnesota know this feeling. There is just something about that state. I lived there for 11 yrs (forgive me!! the ex made me) and there was nothing good about it.
North Dakota I get, although it's not actually a Midwestern state (as so many meteorologists are desperately trying to convince us), but West Virginia? Anywhere south of the Mason-Dixon line, including AL, where I live now, is considered redneckland.
but I don't believe it lasts for 8 months as one of you said.
lol, ok.... My kids had to wear jackets to watch the fireworks on the 4th a few times.
All of you who are upset you can't make friends up there, TRADE YA! No one here will mind their own flippin business! And they mistake perfectly natural taciturn quietness for snobbery. I go in a store, I get what I want, I wanna leave. It doesn't require conversation --- but they really REALLY want to know how I'm doing today...... no, lady, you do NOT want to know how I am doing, because I want to leave! But you won't finish the transaction until I talk! But I can't tell her that, because she can't understand me, because I "talk too fast" and I give one-syllable words ONE SYLLABLE.
I want a T-shirt that says: "From WISCONSIN. I walk faster than you, I talk faster than you, and I mind my own business. DEAL WITH IT."
All of you who are upset you can't make friends up there, TRADE YA! No one here will mind their own flippin business! And they mistake perfectly natural taciturn quietness for snobbery. I go in a store, I get what I want, I wanna leave. It doesn't require conversation --- but they really REALLY want to know how I'm doing today...... no, lady, you do NOT want to know how I am doing, because I want to leave! But you won't finish the transaction until I talk! But I can't tell her that, because she can't understand me, because I "talk too fast" and I give one-syllable words ONE SYLLABLE.
I want a T-shirt that says: "From WISCONSIN. I walk faster than you, I talk faster than you, and I mind my own business. DEAL WITH IT."
Sounds like you'd be a natural for Western Washington! No one really wants to talk to you - the most social interation you might have all day is mumbling an order to a barista. We met one of our neighboors less than a week before we left, after living just across the street from him for more than 12 years. We had the longest conversation we'd ever had with another neighboor on the day we were leaving (it pretty much amounted to her telling us that she and her husband were leaving too.) Personally I blame the weather - there aren't many outdoor things that are a lot of fun to do in chilly drizzle where even the memory of the sun has long fled.
In contrast Wisconsonites have been friendly and inviting!
I grew up in Wisconsin, lived in California for 30 years, and returned to Wisconsin to care for my mother. I plan to leave as soon as possible so you'll know up front that I'm biased. This is my take on Wisconsin. Wages are very low and property taxes are very high. The winters are brutal and the summers are Vietnam-hot-and-humid and mosquito-filled. Madison is a progressive community. The rest of Wisconsin is about 30 years behind the times--which may or may not be appealing.
Small town Wisconsin (and everything but Madison and Milwaukee is small town Wisconsin regardless of size and some would argue that Milwaukee is, too) is not for everyone. If you are a socially and politically conservative white-bread American who prizes conformity above all else, you may, after a number of years, be accepted. If you do not conform in all regards, you likely will never be accepted. What do I mean by conform? I mean you hold the same political and social views, dress the same, wear your hair the same, talk about the same subjects, go to work and come home from work at the same time, belong to the same church (this is a biggie--research the dominant religion of the community before you move) and, well, conform, conform, conform. If you're over 25,you had better be married. And if you don't have children, they'll want to know what's wrong with you. To give you an example, one of the only times I've received a phone call from anyone in town was from a woman calling to ask if knew anything about the new family that had moved-in next door. Did they have children? What religion were they? She asked because she was in charge of the "Welcome Wagon" and they don't bother to visit newcomers without children. I was tempted to tell her that they had a baby but they were Satanists and she'd better get there quick before they sacrificed the baby. For their sake, I resisted the temptation.
If you look at this from the viewpoint of the people who live in these towns, you will see that they have no motivation to accept you. They grew up here. All their extended family members are here. Everyone they went to elementary and high school (and often even college) with are here. Their social circle is set for life. If they had any ideas or ambitions that conflicted with the norm, they wouldn't be here. You, as an outsider who could potentially upset the apple cart, pose a threat to the status quo. Because they don't need you, why take a chance on befriending you? Think you'll find a good job here? Have excellent qualifcations? You'd better be the only person with those qualifications, because you're going to be put at the end of the line behind everyone's second cousin and everyone's friends' second cousins.
Are there any pluses? Yes. Without a doubt, Wisconsin is gorgeous. The crime rate is very low in most areas. If your car breaks down in 20 below zero, someone will stop to help. People will say hello to you on the streets and in the stores.
If you're the hermit-type and want to buy a cabin in the woods and can handle the cold, heat and mosquitos, this is paradise. If you want to live in a Mayberry-type town minus Andy and Opie but with all the other characters, great. But, first, ask yourself if you really want to live with Gomer and Goober 24/7, wear sweatshirts to everything except weddings and funerals (optional for pre-funeral visitation), get "helmet-head" haircuts and bad perms (mandatory, if you're a woman), chew snuff and make racist jokes (mandatory, if you're a man) and go out for fish every Friday (mandatory for both genders).
I grew up in Wisconsin, lived in California for 30 years, and returned to Wisconsin to care for my mother. I plan to leave as soon as possible so you'll know up front that I'm biased. This is my take on Wisconsin. Wages are very low and property taxes are very high.
Of course property values are very low so a high property tax rate doesn't necessarily translate into a large property tax bill. My take is that if I wanted to own the same house in Tacoma that I own here the property taxes would have been more than twice as high - but it wouldn't have mattered because I couldn't have begun to afford the house because it would have cost easily three times what it cost in small town Wisconsin.
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Small town Wisconsin (and everything but Madison and Milwaukee is small town Wisconsin regardless of size and some would argue that Milwaukee is, too) is not for everyone. If you are a socially and politically conservative white-bread American who prizes conformity above all else, you may, after a number of years, be accepted. If you do not conform in all regards, you likely will never be accepted.
I keep reading these types of comments then walking out in to our new hometown and findng friendly, accepting people. Religion has only come up once (we're basically not religious), politics here and there but nobody has been apparently turned off by my much more liberal bent. No kids - the subject of why has never come up. We've been told that Friday fish fry is a must but it's always been with a wink - we haven't tried it yet and might never do so. I don't know that I've heard a single racist joke since I've been here - definitely NOT something I could say about any stretch of time in supposedly much more progressive Western Washington. Maybe not all small Wisconsin towns are so hidebound.
I hope you have a wonderful experience in Wisconsin, but I'm guessing you haven't shared your liberal ideas too freely or mentioned that you're not religious. Don't confuse the willingness of people to talk with you with friendship.
I hope you have a wonderful experience in Wisconsin, but I'm guessing you haven't shared your liberal ideas too freely or mentioned that you're not religious.
Only when it's come up in conversation. I know, for example, that one of our neighbors is pretty conservative and he knows that we're pretty liberal and that's all fine and good. We mostly talk about other things (an eclectic taste in music a frequent topic of conversation) but when politics has come up we both have been respectful of the other's views. We've had one less than stellar experience based on religious views but that was more our reaction to them than their reaction to us.
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Don't confuse the willingness of people to talk with you with friendship.
No, that's more on the lines of friendliness. We're doing reasonably well making friends here as well but that's a slower process anywhere. The friendliness of the locals has been wonderful - much nicer than what we experienced in Tacoma. Of course my feeling is that the weather has a lot to do with that
I hope you enjoyed your time in California as much as I'm enjoying Wisconsin. As for me, I have to go there for work way too frequently (north and south) - I've told my coworkers who have the misfortune of living there that I'll willingly move to California no less than 72 hours after I've died. Most of them seem to understand.
Because I am sure YOU were friendly everywhere. Old tired saying,but we get back what we give out .
Nicley said.
Getting along with others in Wisconsin, or anywhere, has to to with your attitute, what type of town you live in, and where you are in your life.
I'm a Wisconsinite that moved to the Appleton area in 1998. I loved it then and love it now, but my life has changed in those 10 years. When I moved here I was a social, working girl, just recently married. For the past 5 years I have been a stay-home mom. When I was working, I had so many friends that I saw on a regular basis. Now that I have kids, my whole life seems to revolve around them, and so now I long for Grandparents and family, none of who live in the area. Because I wish I had this, everyone I see seems to have their entire family living in the area (the same way in which women who want a child tend to notice that all women in public seem to be pregnant!). And because the Fox Cities really has everything-shopping, good health care, jobs, activities, etc., there really isn't a need to jump on the next train to Milwaukee or Chicago. For the most part, people have all they need here, so families tend to stay and grow here. I even know of people who trasnplanted here, and their extended families followed them here because they like it so much. These people tend to stay active within their own families, which can make them come off as being somewhat reserved. I'm hoping that my family and I are planting the roots for our extented family's generations to come. Sometimes I feel left out, but if I were getting out more, say, working again, I know I would feel differently about socializing.
Overall, everyone here is friendly and hardworking. Sometimes I have to be the one to initiate the converstation, but that's okay. My advice to someone who finds people in WI to be too reserved, would be to volunteer, join local clubs and groups, join a church, or find a part-time job. You'll surely meet new friends.
I agree with what you've said. Most of these communities are very safe places to raise a family. But it's when you want to talk to someone about more than the weather, the Packers, and where to find the best fish fry that you find hard-going. I am one of those people who is open to talking about just about anything with just about anyone, but almost none of the people here are interested in any variation in topics or activities. There's almost a phobia of being out-of-lockstep with everyone else. It gets very boring to have the same three conversations with everyone year after year. And, believe me, I've tried. It's not that the people are unfriendly or hostile. They're not. I'll be blunt and come right out and say that they're neither interested nor interesting. I require mental stimulation and you aren't going to get that in small town Wisconsin. Remember, I have the dual perspective of both having grown up here and returned after 30 years. It's not like you have to work your way past resistance to acceptance and then it'll be great. It will just be more of the same. Instead of discussing the weather for 30 seconds on the street, you'll get to talk about it for 3 hours over dinner in someone's home. And then when you invite them to your home for dinner, that same conversation will be repeated. It will also be repeated at their funerals and at yours.
TaraMoon I was tempted to tell her that they had a baby but they were Satanists and she'd better get there quick before they sacrificed the baby. For their sake, I resisted the temptation.
ROFL!! It would have taken me a week to think of something like that.
They grew up here. All their extended family members are here. Everyone they went to elementary and high school (and often even college) with are here. Their social circle is set for life.
It's not like you have to work your way past resistance to acceptance and then it'll be great. It will just be more of the same.
Part of the clan-mentality problem is because some of these folks are too afraid to go out and take the bull by the .....horns, and some don't need to know what the rest of the world is like. Then, some go out & see the world and go back, either because they can deal with it, or because they miss it. But I wonder if there's something in the water, because Wisconsinites just seem so overly territorial to me. And I still suffer from that! Almost got fired once because I didn't like the new guy learning "my" job.... lol
If they had any ideas or ambitions that conflicted with the norm, they wouldn't be here.
That is probably why I never went back. My politics, my religion, my entire life is alien to them. I think it's better for me to look back w/these rose-colored glasses, than to go back and have to take them off.
escapetacoma: I think you might be right about the weather thing. Down here in AL I have to run the a/c clear into November, and start it up again in March. I don't mind sharing a funny story, or a sad one, or whatever the topic requires, but I don't want to hash over my entire life. Here, a wrong number can end up in a 30-minute conversation!
Funny , Taramoon . Very funny , I agree and I saw it all , 24 thanksgivings all alone , Xmas dinners alone and the rest of it. But then again I have to live here since my spouse works here. I came here from Europe and may not complain since I am filthy forinner.
Then again it is entertaining , fried in the summer , frozen in winter , scowled at in churches , yelled at in stores by ebonic wielding ladies intolerant of the man they can't unnastann.
I never really understood football anyhow and beer does nothing for me. Our library has three books and fifteen million videos , did I mention that or kids in their crazy cars cruisin' all night stereos wound up to the top.
I have seen Hell , it sucks.
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My kids had to wear jackets to watch the fireworks on the 4th a few times.
