Making Friends in Western Washington (Seattle, Issaquah: homes, neighborhood, homeschool)

[compltlyme]

Originally Posted by movintotennessee

I don't know where you are from but I have been born and raised here for 37 years. I have had only a few deep friendships for a reasonable length of time. I have never fit in here, I always felt people are cold here, distant, self-centered and don't have time for me or anyone else. My husband and I have been down South and recently decided to move there. The people are friendly, warm and hospitable there, unlike here. I've never experienced it here and know I never will. I've lived all over Washington State and have seen the same climate with the same type of "too good for you" people. There's no focus on family here, no focus on friends and the church is shallow and all for entertainment. It is a dead land with dead people. Anyways, sorry you had to move here. May you consider moving somewhere "warmer".

Oh I have to disagree with you... Although having a challenge making friends up here.. I have become aware of how really very kind and helpful people are up here. There is very much a focus on family here. That's just it... Where I came from in So Ca.. every one was very much for themselves. The parents doing one thing the kids another. My son and I did so much together and everyone thought that was strange. People here are very much into their own families and long time friends that they do things together and are very tight and tend to excluse outsiders.

I would never consider it "dead" up here. There is so much life. I feel safe up here even with strangers...not stupidly safe, but in general. I love going to the parks and seeing families together playing. I go to games and concerts and see entire families... not just the kids doing one thing and the parents no where to be found. They are side by side. I guess since my family is grown and gone/leaving.. I find myself mostly alone and am not used to it. I had such a big circle of friends in So Ca and making new friends was easy because there are so many lonely people there. Up here... it seems to me to be all about family and close friends.

[compltlyme]

Originally Posted by janb

The loggers / settlers / tree huggers seem to be pretty proud of their independence, but that can really bite you if you get in a pinch. I'm sure glad the folks in WY would stop for you when you broke down, the PNW'rs have been known to hit you and keep going!! Hopefully more of the exception than the rule There are lots of 'nice' people around, just not too interested in being bothered. Don't hold out too high of expectations for the current era of 'entitlement'.

Most folks haven't gone hungry to feed a neighbor, or been cold to share their firewood, or missed a meal to meet payroll. We're in a different era now. (gimmee's / me-no-wanna)

I have found people very helpful on the road. We had a car that over heated and so many people stopped to help!!! Once in Los Angeles on the way to Universal Studios we had a blow out in the fast lane and no one wanted to let us get over. Pieces of tire were flying off and hitting cars and we were getting cussed at but still no one wanted to let us over to the side. So we said hang on and went for it. We got honked at and screamed at and no one cared to stop or even slow down to get out of our way.

You see...that is what I don't get... everyone is so nice but so into their own lives that there seems no room for more.

[madicarus2000]

Originally Posted by compltlyme

everyone is so nice but so into their own lives that there seems no room for more.

Hello Compltlyme, that is what we're running into. Everyone we meet is very nice and friendly. Whether at the stores or receiving a friendly wave while driving by, but no one seems open to needing or wanting any new friends. I had some friends briefly while in Seattle but they were connections I met through family.

I lived in Palmdale, in northern LA county. There you didnt get friendly people or the friendy waves, you maybe got a certain waving gesture but that wasnt the one of goodwill. Here people are nice and focused on their immediate and extended family, plus their long time friends. It just makes it difficult for us outsiders without a connection to make the leap from friendly wave to long lasting friendships.
~chris~

[wamommy1]

It is not you. I was raised here and always had that problem. My parents from So cal always had that problem. After moving here 5 years later they made friends. The only reason I have friends is because I grew up here, but we're not that close anymore since we moved away to AZ( hubby and I) for 5 years and came back. We lived there for 5 years and have so many good friends. I mean good friends. They have all visited us here since we've been back. It's about 5 couples and their kids. We've been back a year and we have met no one. I am now a stay at home mom and makes it difficult. I've met one good friend, but my hubby no one.

My take, is that it's expensive to live here so there are 2 working incomes to support their mortgage. When they get home they just want to relax after working hard and fighting traffic. The last thing they want to do is socialize. they just want to spend time with their family and kids. Also, it's not sunny everyday so people are not outside sitting on their porches and such. the weather climate makes it difficult for some to spend longer times outdoors chatting.

We found in AZ people did a lot more outside as a whole due to the weather. Now, this is not true everywhere, just our expereince. It's nice to know it's not just you.

[compltlyme]

Originally Posted by wamommy1

It is not you. It's nice to know it's not just you.

Yeah it is... I suppose. I have always been such a social person that I guess I just get frustrated.

What part of WA are you in?

[wamommy1]

I'm in Mill Creek. You?

[compltlyme]

Originally Posted by wamommy1

I'm in Mill Creek. You?

not too far... Sammamish

[RobertC]

Since you work from home, I wonder if you run your own business. If so, you might join your local Chamber of Commerce. You can also join a local Toastmasters club. Both places you'll meet lots of people, who can introduce you to lots of people, and so on.

[compltlyme]

Thanks RobertC..yeah we belong to a couple of groups and have attended meetings and even a couple of parties... but encounter the same situation. Guess I will just have to be patient.

[klpeake]

Originally Posted by the dufferz

If your one a residential street, try getting the neighbors over for a texas hold-up tourney. Chips, drinks, 20 bucks. Guy stuff.

No way, guy stuff. I have a friend who (with her hubby) has one of these tournaments at their house once a month. They started out with 4 people and asked each one to invite a friend and so on and so forth for each subsequent party. They now have big gatherings with over 50+ people. She said that she has met all kinds of great new people. She and I are best friends now and only 6 months ago we didn't even know that the other existed, even though our 5th graders have gone to school together for 6 years!

I have another friend that started a Bunco group. We all meet once a month and have been for over 6 years. We have had people come and go in the group also. You can have a group with multiples of 4, up to as many as you want to host.

Another friend started a book club, they meet once a month.

I am quite a forward person. I would figure out how I wanted to go about it and then put an ad in the local newspaper. But that is just me.