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I wasn't keen on moving to Utah, but decided to give it a try. My husband and I had visited the area on many occasions over the past several years, and found the area to be beautiful, even though it was a bit "small-town". We sold our home, payed off our debts and moved to a slower pace of life, where our children could go to good, clean schools and go outside and play in a safer environment.
Don't get me wrong - the area is beautiful, the homes are magnificent, and the weather has its ups and downs, with spring and fall being great. The people are all very friendly and clean-cut. Everyone smiles and says "hello", and waves. But it is almost right out of the "Stepford Wives" movie.
I am not an overly religious person. I do believe in God. And I respect others choices to worship and believe in what they please. I don't judge people on religious beliefs, race, or on how they look. However I have lived in St. George, Utah for nearly 3 years now, and have yet to have made a single "friend" in the sence of the word, during that time. My neighbors are all friendly and will say hello if they see me outdoors, sure to stop and chat for a minute, or wave as they drive by.
. . . But that is the extent of it.
We have two small children, and when we moved here we were delighted that they would have a yard to play in, and with everyone having several children in a family, I thought they would have LOTS of friends who they could play with and do activities with......
Well, needless to say, if you aren't Mormon, you are not part of the "in crowd". And this did not bother me at first. I don't need to have tons of friends, but one or two wouldn't hurt. I don't even have someone I can call up and have lunch with.
When we first moved here, my kids met several of the neighborhood kids. The first couple of days, they all played together.... When it began to circulate through the neighborhood that "non-Mormons" had moved in, the kids began to be non-friendly. Throwing rocks at my kids, hitting and kicking. Running away and not letting them come inside with the other kids to play. This angered me, as I don't think God intended RELIGION to be a barrier against people. And I think that GOD loves everyone. No just if you are a particular religion....I would think that the parents would intervene, so they were not raising racists, but that is not the case.
I recently spoke to one woman from California that moved out to Winchester Hills (near St. George). She said that the kids in that area reacted the same way to their little girl, and that eventually they had to move from the area, hoping to find a more "acceptable" environment for their family. They have been here five years.
Through my son's *****rverence, several neighborhood kids began to play with mine. But the parents don't let their children come into my home. And if they do come in, it is for brief amounts of time. (15 minutes and a sibling or parent is over to get their child). When one child came in to play, I asked if he would like a snack - and was informed that he was told not to eat in my home.... I still wonder "Why not?"
Going on three years now, my son is still the one who has to make the effort to go outside to the other kid's homes to see if they want to play. About 75%of the time, he is not allowed to play. And then on a rare day, he is overjoyed when he is allowed to play. He hasn't been invited to any neighborhood birthday parties, and there are times I am very sad, when I see groups of kids on the block playing, and my son is not included.
Sunday is church day, and Monday is "Family Night", which are good for the family and good for the soul. Family is important.
The problem is, that if you are not Mormon, you miss out on the "bonding" that goes on in the area between families, neighborhoods, and the community as a whole. The children who are Mormon, all go to the same church in a particular neighborhood - which bonds them tighter. The same goes for the parents.... So basically, the Mormons bond and socialize with other Mormons. If you are not part of this system, you are basically on the outskirts of the community. Homes are sold through word of mouth at church, different events and social activities are planned and told about at church... Basically everything evolves around the church.
I believe we have hashed this over in another thread, but you are right about everything revolving around the church. You see the same people each week and you actually have time to talk to each other at church. Most of the LDS people in my neighborhood are very busy with kids, work, and church. I work with the youth, so we get together for activities on Wed nights also.
It would be more difficult not being a member of the LDS church and wanting to maintain a strong social relationship with your immediate neighbors. When I lived in New England most of my neighbors were Catholic, but only went to church on Easter and Christmas so no real religious identity was established on a weekly basis.
Utah is a unique place just like other parts of the country that are dominated by a particular group. Outsiders come in and then complain about being excluded. The LDS faithful were forcibly removed from their home only a century and a half ago to settle in this dusty god forsaken place were people would finally leave them alone.
When you belong to a minority like I do, you have to go out of your way to be included. Humor is always my best outlet, find yours.
I believe we have hashed this over in another thread, but you are right about everything revolving around the church. You see the same people each week and you actually have time to talk to each other at church. Most of the LDS people in my neighborhood are very busy with kids, work, and church. I work with the youth, so we get together for activities on Wed nights also.
It would be more difficult not being a member of the LDS church and wanting to maintain a strong social relationship with your immediate neighbors. When I lived in New England most of my neighbors were Catholic, but only went to church on Easter and Christmas so no real religious identity was established on a weekly basis.
Utah is a unique place just like other parts of the country that are dominated by a particular group. Outsiders come in and then complain about being excluded. The LDS faithful were forcibly removed from their home only a century and a half ago to settle in this dusty god forsaken place were people would finally leave them alone.
When you belong to a minority like I do, you have to go out of your way to be included. Humor is always my best outlet, find yours.
Just curious, but why do you log on as "Elder Shawn"? Is Elder your first name? Can't you be just Shawn. (If you are over 65, I appologize, and don't mind the title....) but it makes me feel like you are like a POPE or something. A sort of politial figure of the church, who is making a judgement on me. And due to your title, your judgement or opinion appears more important than mine... or that it gives you the right to judge me.... If your name is Shawn, can't drop the formalities. Nothing personal, but we are NOT IN CHURCH. Is that what you say when you go to the bank? Or to buy groceries? Or when you make a plane or hotel reservation? Is it like that on your drivers license???????? Do tell -
I have a question, why does it bother you? Are you offended? This is the second post I have seen you questioning the reason for his screen name. We all select our screen names for various reasons. I use Leilani and no I don't make my plane reservations under my screen name nor is it on my license.
I highly doubt your license says " Living in St George".
Maybe I am out of line here but I find it odd that it bothers you. This is supposed to be a friendly exchange of information about various places. I don't see the connection with the in interrogation.
I don' t mean to offend you. I just thought I would bring it to your attenion in case you were not aware that it seems to be an odd fascination with Elder Shawn's name.
Your story is pretty common among non-LDS folks who move to LDS communities. But it seems you didn't do your homework in advance before relocating there. Mormon communities were created and continue to thrive on the institutions and practices that make the church what it is. Sunday Service, Family Home Evening, Relief Society, Home Teaching, heck, even ward basketball all serve to reinforce LDS social networks. You can't expect that to change just because you move there.
Where Mormon influence has an impact on the way you live *your* life (eg. any of the "word of wisdom" laws) you have every right to complain about and ridicule. But when it comes to complaining about how their social groups accommodate your presence, well, that's your problem.
It's sad your boy has to be on the receiving end of other parents' attitudes, especially when it comes to innocent activities like playing outside. But for his sake I'd be glad that, at least, he's not growing up insular, narrow-minded and judgemental. Sometimes being the subject of someone else's prejudices makes one a better person -- and wiser.
Your story is pretty common among non-LDS folks who move to LDS communities. But it seems you didn't do your homework in advance before relocating there. Mormon communities were created and continue to thrive on the institutions and practices that make the church what it is. Sunday Service, Family Home Evening, Relief Society, Home Teaching, heck, even ward basketball all serve to reinforce LDS social networks. You can't expect that to change just because you move there.
Where Mormon influence has an impact on the way you live *your* life (eg. any of the "word of wisdom" laws) you have every right to complain about and ridicule. But when it comes to complaining about how their social groups accommodate your presence, well, that's your problem.
It's sad your boy has to be on the receiving end of other parents' attitudes, especially when it comes to innocent activities like playing outside. But for his sake I'd be glad that, at least, he's not growing up insular, narrow-minded and judgemental. Sometimes being the subject of someone else's prejudices makes one a better person -- and wiser.
It is obvious that you are unfamiliar with the Mormon Religion. This might be his screen name, but it has specific reference to the church. In case you did not know, Elder is a title in the LDS church commonly used by missionaries and General Authorities (Apostles)......
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leilani
I have a question, why does it bother you? Are you offended? This is the second post I have seen you questioning the reason for his screen name. We all select our screen names for various reasons. I use Leilani and no I don't make my plane reservations under my screen name nor is it on my license.
I highly doubt your license says " Living in St George".
Maybe I am out of line here but I find it odd that it bothers you. This is supposed to be a friendly exchange of information about various places. I don't see the connection with the in interrogation.
I don' t mean to offend you. I just thought I would bring it to your attenion in case you were not aware that it seems to be an odd fascination with Elder Shawn's name.
You are absolutely right. I did not do my homework. I was naive in thinking that religion was not a barrier and would not influence my life or where I decided to live.
It is quite obvious from the replys, that the majority of the people on this site are Mormons that live in the state of Utah. So don't be offended by the piping up of one Non-Mormon giving their side of the story.
MY ADIVCE PRIOR TO MOVING TO ANY AREA..........Look before you leap!!!!
Hopefully others who are reading this site for data into the Utah area, who are not Mormon, will not be as naive as I was. From being able to read the information on this site, whether pro or con, they will be able to make a more informed decision prior to moving to an area where religion is such an integral part of society, that it overshadows the "melting pot" of a community.
I wholehartedly agree, that when deciding to make a major move to a new area, it is quite important to know all the facts, and to be as well informed as possible before making the plunge.
I love the beauty of Utah, however I am not Mormon, and I will never be Mormon. As the area where I live is highly populated by Mormons, I shouldn't have assumed that I would just fit in. There is nothing wrong with the Mormon religion, it is just that I am not Mormon. As I have stated, I was naive in believing that I would just fit on in.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MagpiesMagpiesMagpies
Your story is pretty common among non-LDS folks who move to LDS communities. But it seems you didn't do your homework in advance before relocating there. Mormon communities were created and continue to thrive on the institutions and practices that make the church what it is. Sunday Service, Family Home Evening, Relief Society, Home Teaching, heck, even ward basketball all serve to reinforce LDS social networks. You can't expect that to change just because you move there.
Where Mormon influence has an impact on the way you live *your* life (eg. any of the "word of wisdom" laws) you have every right to complain about and ridicule. But when it comes to complaining about how their social groups accommodate your presence, well, that's your problem.
It's sad your boy has to be on the receiving end of other parents' attitudes, especially when it comes to innocent activities like playing outside. But for his sake I'd be glad that, at least, he's not growing up insular, narrow-minded and judgemental. Sometimes being the subject of someone else's prejudices makes one a better person -- and wiser.
Overall, I have not had major problems with the social aspect of living in UT. It's been okay making friends, finding work, going to school, buying things at the store, and so on. I think Mormons make good neighbors. It's generally fine to live in utah - except dating. I hate dating here. If you're non-LDS and single, then it gets pretty tricky, and it's not like it was easy to begin with.
If you're not LDS, then, when considering your children, please do keep this in mind. LDS are encouraged NOT to date non-members. That means your kids. That could be ostracizing.
- Chris
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And why don't you just log on as Shawn?
I'm sorry to hear it!
