Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Some people when we get "old" (or not even that old) lose a spouse or a partner, and then things aren't as fun anymore. It's not simply a matter of how much you saved. Money doesn't buy everything. You realize that what made life enjoyable was having someone to share it with. When that's gone, then things like traveling or going out for nice dinners aren't so appealing anymore.
I have some dear friends who are widowed and they have had to carve out a new normal and find new ways to be happy or have fun. I doubt I’d be happy in the same way if I lost my darling husband though.
I have some dear friends who are widowed and they have had to carve out a new normal and find new ways to be happy or have fun. I doubt I’d be happy in the same way if I lost my darling husband though.
Of course. You couldn't help but think how much more fun it might be with your partner at your side. I am inspired by my 74-year-old friend Dianne. She lost her husband about 2 or 3 years ago. They would travel together, but with his limitations, he would sit in a cafe all day while she went out to do other things nearby. Right now, she is on a 3-month trip to Italy with 3 lady friends. They are staying in each city for 3 weeks and having the time of their lives. It's completely different than her old travel style, and she's loving it. Life moves on and changes, but you can still have fun.
Yea, that's what made me curious. I've seen people in their 60s and 70s still physically active and enjoying themselves. I met with my Godparents who are in their mid to late 70s now and tell me "enjoy life when you are young".
Some people strongly encourage you to save, save, and save and enjoy the savings when you are old but that's the problem. We don't know what things will be like when we are old.
Of course. You couldn't help but think how much more fun it might be with your partner at your side. I am inspired by my 74-year-old friend Dianne. She lost her husband about 2 or 3 years ago. They would travel together, but with his limitations, he would sit in a cafe all day while she went out to do other things nearby. Right now, she is on a 3-month trip to Italy with 3 lady friends. They are staying in each city for 3 weeks and having the time of their lives. It's completely different than her old travel style, and she's loving it. Life moves on and changes, but you can still have fun.
But imagine if Dianne had died first. How much fun would her husband be having now?
The thread title is a bit vague so let me explain....
When it comes to saving money, the common reason is "so you have will have money when you get older and retire". The argument against this is often "why wait to enjoy my money when I get old? why not enjoy it now?"
I'm a young guy and from a young person's perspective (I can't speak for all young people), but we see people in their 60s, 70s, and 80s, and see people grumbling about health problems, getting surgeries, not able to walk around a lot. It's not very inspiring. It makes me think "if I was able to save 1 million dollars until I reach 60 years old, how will I enjoy it?"
Now, I have seen elderly people walking around and enjoying life and it inspires me. Maybe they spent most of their life surrounding themselves with people who also enjoyed their lives.
But back to the topic.....do you enjoy life when you are "older"? Do you enjoy all the money you've spent years saving? Is it all worth it? I want to avoid being that 60-year-old guy who is jaded and gets grumpy about the idea of traveling somewhere or splurging on something nice.
If I go by my parents.....
In their 60s .....lots of fun....went on exotic trips....belonged to retirement group....
In the their 70s ....almost as much fun....tons of cruises....and they both played badminton with a bunch of retirees ....my dad in particular was very good ....I stood in for my mom a few times and we beat most .....I went on long bike rides with my dad on old "rail trails" and my dad could keep up pretty good....(we climbed mountains back when he was in his 50s, and I was in my 20s....he was very fit in his 50s).
In their 80s ....fun meter was starting to run low....in their early 80s they
dropped all cruising...stopped with the fancy vacations.....I biked with my dad into his mid 80s ....but no more badminton playing....so... 80s are a whole other ball game....
Now over 90....most of their friends are gone....health issues now popping up....
making life a lot more difficult....
60s great....70s still not bad ....80s not as much fun....90s really tough....
Some people when we get "old" (or not even that old) lose a spouse or a partner, and then things aren't as fun anymore. It's not simply a matter of how much you saved. Money doesn't buy everything. You realize that what made life enjoyable was having someone to share it with. When that's gone, then things like traveling or going out for nice dinners aren't so appealing anymore.
And then theres me who as I age think being alone seems much more desirable. I am sure that I am one of the few that feel this way, but even though I love my wife, as I get older would prefer to just be single with a lot of money.
What activities one enjoys will change over time and it relative to their age and ability. Some might enjoy playing bridge or mah-jongg with friends. Some might enjoy traveling. I know people who were hooked on golf at an early age and still are at it in their 70-80s. I can't stand golf but I'm that way with fly-fishing. At 75 I don't backpack into the wilderness anymore, but I nibble around the edges. I have a social network that I enjoy spending time with. We do occasional pub crawls. If you see 6-8 old guys walking into a brewpub, that's probably us. I still do road trips and spent last October in Europe. I spent a week in the hospital with sepsis this month (infected gallbladder) but I'm back at it and enjoying life. I don't need a ton of money to live an enjoyable retirement. I budget for things like I always did. If I'm going on a big trip, I plan ahead and often have it mostly paid off before I go.
But imagine if Dianne had died first. How much fun would her husband be having now?
He'd be sitting at home not doing much. He was a homebody and in such poor physical condition. Some folks have fun when they are elderly, some don't, some can't.
I have some dear friends who are widowed and they have had to carve out a new normal and find new ways to be happy or have fun. I doubt I’d be happy in the same way if I lost my darling husband though.
I retired early but lost my wife at age 58 so I was young enough to reinvent my post-loss retirement life. It took a while. In the past 17 years I have kept some of the old life features and enjoyable pastimes (baseball, flyfishing, nature photography) and embraced new ones (bocce, audiobooks, soccer, writing). I moved 1000 miles and made new friends and a new life. I greatly miss my wife even after all of these years. We had many plans for our retirement life together but that changed beyond our control. I wore my wedding ring until a few months ago when I had to have it cut off due to "trigger finger". It feels odd not wearing it. I miss having a female perspective and probably have made some poor decisions because of it. ("You are not going out in public dressed like that, are you?" "Why would you ever want to paint the living room that color?" etc. etc.)
I'm 75 now and I think that losing a spouse at this advanced age would be very difficult to overcome. Couples planning their retirement need to pay special attention to plans for a surviving spouse in financial ways and in simply surviving as a single person.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
