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Eleven kids in the family. They said that to all of us!
Maybe it is a Hispanic thing. While growing up, our maternal grandparents lived in one house, we lived to the right of them and my uncle and his family lived on the other side.
My grandfather had purchased the property like this for the future family.
Right now my nephew and his family are living in the house.
Yes, you’re right about this. My hometown was mostly Hispanic, my best friend & my hs boyfriend were Mexican, it was just a given that they could fall back on their families if they needed to & were always welcome.
My father was from a family of 11 kids, my mother from 5, guess they did not get the memo.
There's a related thread going on in the Philosophy forum about "attaining adulthood", where I made a comment along these lines, about how much harder it must be for young people nowadays to start out on their own.
I already had a job as a senior in high school and started apartment shopping as soon as I turned 18. When I graduated in June I already had an apartment lined up and moved out within a few days after school was done. I was able to afford my own studio apartment at $285/mo working a no-skill minimum wage job.
I agree it is more difficult now for teenagers and young 20's to become independent. But a lot do once they graduate high school. College is no longer affordable even when you work a full time job and don't live in the dorms and a lot of parents can't afford to give their kids a full ride like in the 70's. My grandson stayed with his dad and step mother until he got his first job after getting his welding certificate. He lives with 3 other guys, 2 friends and one new guy. One of the friend's parents rent the house they are in to them. He was given an old pickup when he was 14 that he has been working on and got running by the time he was 17. So, yes, it is different for most teenagers but there are still a large percentage that find a way to be independent at a young age based on their home circumstances.
I was 22. I had to move home for a few months after college because I didn't have a car and my first job paid a pittance. As soon as I was able to save enough money to buy a used car, I found a roommate and moved out.
When I decided to go to graduate school, I wouldn't have dreamed of asking my parents to finance it, as many parents seem to do these days. Not that they would have even if I'd asked.
For the first five years of our marriage, my husband and I lived in an $85/mo. apartment above a golf course clubhouse. It was infested with mice and contained mold, which I was wildly allergic to. Our 20s were a major financial struggle because of our "starter" jobs; we didn't start to get on our feet until our 30s. No financial assistance from parents, though I later learned that my grandmother had frequently helped out my dad financially.
I lived with my parents rent free for about a year after I left college while I worked and saved up money. I had a full time job and paid for my own health insurance, car, car insurance, gas, etc at the age of 22. At 23 I moved out into a house rental with roommates and was completely on my own.
Just curious, how old were you when you achieved total independence from your parents? Moved out, they no longer paid any bills for you or made major purchases for you (cars, down payments on homes,). Gifts don't count, of course.
I was 20, I think, I lived with my dad through 2.5 years of college, then wanted to move in with my sister. Dad said fine, but you can take over paying for your college. I had money saved up, so I did.
Feel free to add observations about your own kids as well as yourself. Please no generational bickering, "kids these days" etc. I have to moderate this forum.
I moved out at 23. No money from parents after that. I went to college locally so that makes a difference. My son left for college at 17 and he still lives in that town. He’s 31 now.No support from me since college.
My mom died and life was never the same. My dad and I moved in with the youngest brother (who was 14 years my senior). Shortly thereafter we moved with my eldest sister (20 years my senior) and dad stayed a couple months and left. He was sick and and lived with my aunt / his sister for 3 more years until his death (he fought a rare blood cancer for 15 years). We were living pretty remote (moved from Nevada to Sandpoint, Idaho (in the 70's was tiny) and he needed to live in civilization.
After that I was attempting to survive with my 14-20 year older siblings. I went to 3 high schools. I went to 2 middle schools and 2 grade schools. I was mourning the death of my parents for 40 years.
I was again abandoned at 17.
I don't feel sorry for myself. I did not have much of a childhood and have no empathy for other people with plenty of support (and still complain).
Last edited by Wile E. Coyote; 02-04-2024 at 03:03 PM..
I moved out for a Summer during college (at 18). My husband-to-be got a Summer job at a beach town and we rented a place (a room) for 4 months.
Came back home, and then a short time later at 19 i bought a mobile home thru my company's Credit Union. (I was working part-time while still attending college.) When i moved in a few months after purchase i was pretty much independent. My parents would have always been there in an emergency. And they were - maybe two or three times i needed them for some help, but i worked from age 17.
I never considered that my parents would put me through college and I never asked. No one in the family had gone to college. I worked the year after high school and saved money for a two year degree program in x-ray technology. My boyfriend was away at college and I figured I might as well go to school too and was accepted into the program.
The hospital based program was transitioning to combine with the local state college to become an AS degree program instead of a hospital certificate program. It was a bumpy and not a well thought out transition: a hospital certificate program with college classes worked around it. I did 40 hours of clinical every week at the hospital and did the college classes in the evening.
I made it to the last semester and had to borrow $200 from my parents to finish. I had run through my savings and couldn’t work because the clinical hours spanned weekends and nights for senior students in their last year. It was free labor and a great deal for the hospital. The program changed after the first college/hospital class graduated with the college taking more control of the program. The hospital had to hire additional technologists to replace students who were now taking some classes during the day shift.
I moved out at age 21 after being married. I was working in a hospital and lived close by so I could walk to work and we only needed one car. I never asked my parents for financial help. I was the third of four children and watched my two older sibling bounce in and out of my parents house when they needed help. I watched and learned. At age 15 I decided I would never be like them and I wasn’t.
Ran away from home at age 18. But did I really run away? I was a legal adult. In any case, I packed up my prized possessions, stored them at a friends house, and left one morning without telling anyone where I was going. Rode my bicycle from home in Southern California to Seattle. After awhile, made my way down to Salem and when I ran out of money and wasn't ready to go home, joined the Navy. Been on my own since.
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