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Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kathy884
My dad who is 87 has been super generous with his four grandchildren -- ...I am looking forward to all my extended family gathering in our town in 2024.
It's all about what you want to do and what you are comfortable doing.
Investing (gifting) family memories, is a very good investment.
Things / items / stuff is soon forgotten, and only brings peanuts at the estate sale.
Memories and relationships last forever and can be very developmental to kids, grandkids, friends, any recipients.
The bulk of our charitable gifting is for scholarships / training programs, summer camps. Building memories and relationships.
Neither I nor my kids were ever able to attend summer camp or retreats, but it is a pleasure to hear from those we sponsor.
We also gift a lot of free travel to seniors and people needing to attend to ill relatives, and to family reunions, graduations, weddings. When we transferred to Europe for a work assignment we had over 20 trips expiring, and donated them to neighbors and friends who were very appreciative. Often elderly who had no funds and wanted to meet up with siblings for the last time. Just recently an elderly neighbor called and wanted us to help make reservations to see a HS friend in the hospital in AK. We booked the ticket with our flight credits that night for 6am flight the next morning. He met up with friend who died the following day, then stayed for a week to help widow with arrangements. That was important to all of them, and no loss on my part. Glad to be able to assist.
My late Mom sent $20 every month to grandkids in college. All are in their late 30’s and early 40’s so $20 meant something back them. Their college friends were envious. She was a great lady. The four of us kids inherited her IRA. Every December I get the RMD and will for the rest of my life. Thanks Mom
I have always spent my time and energy buying my grandkids gifts along with a gift card each. Last year, after not getting a note, call, text message, and my son only showing up for the Zoom call ( he thanked me, but the rest of them went to the in law's house) I said, NO MORE! This has been going on for years, with my DIL being the most indifferent and classless, so no more individual gifts for anyone. I sent home baked treats this year.
We stopped after college. We have limited funds, they have good jobs. We live in different states and we had no idea what they would really like. Another thing was that it never occurred to them to ever give us anything.
We have two little grandchildren, and we’ll continue to give them gifts for Christmas and birthdays.
Our sons are early 20's and we don't have grandchildren, yet. For extended family, the cut off was HS graduation so I would imagine that it will be something similar with our grandchildren.
On one’s side, we stopped giving nephews/nieces gifts when they graduated from college. The other side I think we’ll do so at high school graduation. The kid never seems to appreciate it.
Our parents still give something to their kids and grandkids. It’s typically $ for the grandkids once they’re 16 or so.
I asked the twelve year old grandson if he would prefer money this year but he said no. But the four grandkids give specific requests so it is not too difficult. Same with the daughters, but their husbands are getting gift vouchers this year. Decided to give our nieces gift voucher too but 28 year old nephew, who lives interstate, will only get one if he shows up at the get together.
If you have sent gifts of money (or presents) to grandchildren and great grandchildren, is there an age that they reached where you stopped?
This is obviously a question for those "kids" that have reached adulthood.
I stopped buying for my two oldest great nephews who are 19 and 23, the older one married and both working full time. I get for the rest who range from 9 to 13.
My son was blessed to have really good paternal family who treated him well for Christmas. At one point he got a decent job where he was probably making close to what his grandmother and great aunt lived on. They would give him checks, he stopped cashing them, telling them that he appreciated them thinking about him but he didn't feel right accepting it. If I had to guess, I'd say he was maybe about 19 to 20 when he stopped cashing their checks.
I think it depends on the kid being gifted, whether they not only need it but appreciate it. Nothing turns me off more then not knowing if someone got something because they never mention it unless I say something.
.......but the schedule has become infrequent. About the only time they should expect a gift from me is if I am visiting when traveling.
Finally, I have a friend, I love dearly since she has made me part of her family but.......she is one to ask for gifts, even say she expects them. Whether it is how she really is or just a joke she constantly plays, that is a reason why I have stayed away.
People appearing materialistic first, like my Brother who says he wants only my money after I am gone, they may be joking but it if so, it is constant joke that got old real quick, long ago.
Same for us. It is all about family sharing during the holidays, and if we are together in a large family gathering gifts are given for everyone, old and young alike.
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