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my mom moved into one. the little groups that form are sometimes toxic. lots of gossip about so and so, everyone in everyone's business. they also had a dining option if someone didn't feel like cooking that day they could go to the dining room for lunch or dinner. who sat with who, etc. was like the high school lunchroom all over again. no thanks
My mom is a bit of a social butterfly so she loves these types of environments. She is not a mean spirited gossip at all, she is just chatty and has the gift of gab. I'm more introverted and I think I need my space more than she does.
I have seen more introverted folks do o.k. in an independent complex. They participate in some of the activities, like to take meals or cook meals in their room in front of the t.v. and generally stay in their apartment rather than fluttering about chatting with the other residents and staff. If my dad were still alive, he would have been an eat in his room sort of guy, lol.
I would do better in a larger retirement community where there was a bigger variety of activities and faces. That's probably why I loved college but HS was too constrictive.
I am sorry about what happened to AZGarden's mom as well and happy she found a good place. But the wedding ring being stolen makes me want to tell people not to bring any valuables to a place like that.
We hear stories all the time of valuables being stolen in assisted living and nursing homes. While yeah, it SHOULD not happen, it does, so maybe keep expensive items elsewhere.
^^^^^
But a wedding ring? Unlikely that people will want to leave that behind.
When I worked in geriatrics in the psych hospital, I once admitted a very old Armenian woman who had survived the Armenian genocide. She was dripping in jewelry and refused to give it up because back in the old country, you might have to bribe someone or pay someone off with gold to survive.
^^^^^
But a wedding ring? Unlikely that people will want to leave that behind.
When I worked in geriatrics in the psych hospital, I once admitted a very old Armenian woman who had survived the Armenian genocide. She was dripping in jewelry and refused to give it up because back in the old country, you might have to bribe someone or pay someone off with gold to survive.
I know, but if it is going to get stolen anyway, why hang onto it? Or perhaps if the person has dementia, their family can take the good ring and substitute it with a fake gold band so the person thinks they are wearing their wedding ring, and any thieves on staff will be disappointed.
Interesting about the lady with the jewelry. Just watched an episode of Jack Ryan recently wherein a woman wore all her gold to use to help her escape her country.
I know, but if it is going to get stolen anyway, why hang onto it? Or perhaps if the person has dementia, their family can take the good ring and substitute it with a fake gold band so the person thinks they are wearing their wedding ring, and any thieves on staff will be disappointed.
Interesting about the lady with the jewelry. Just watched an episode of Jack Ryan recently wherein a woman wore all her gold to use to help her escape her country.
Great series
Cultures that have dowry system, gold is how daughters get their inheritance.
[quote=Mightyqueen801;64845661]I know, but if it is going to get stolen anyway, why hang onto it? Or perhaps if the person has dementia, their family can take the good ring and substitute it with a fake gold band so the person thinks they are wearing their wedding ring, and any thieves on staff will be disappointed.
...
Good idea about a fake wedding band. Damnation to anyone who would steal from a dementia person.
There is one soon to be built near me. The rent for a 2-bedroom is about $6k per month, and the initiation fee is about $1.2 million (refundable) or $850k nonrefundable. Is this normal?
That is on the high side —but it depends on what area/location is it in and what amenities you get. Is that $6,000 a month for single or two people? Is there a top notch assisted living and nursing center? Has it been reviewed and rated?
How good are the amenities? Is it a profit or non profit CCRC?
The one we are most interested in is the biggest cottages which are 1.1 M for 90% refundable and 740K non refundable after four years (loses a portion of refundability each year) for a 2,000 sq ft 2 bedroom 2 bath plus den and brick patio with Mountain Views. It is $7,400 a month for 2 adults with the life-care policy which includes all your utilities and high speed internet and abundant amenities, gym plus trainer, pool, one meal a day, transportation, eventual assisted living, memory care, or full nursing care with no extra charge except for extra meals.
It also includes full physical therapy clinic that’s there if needed. There are much smaller and less expensive cottages or apartments and monthly costs.. You are allowed to remodel however and they give you $5,000 toward remodel/ paint, appliances etc.
The town is small but has two universities and a hospital. It is one mile into town.
It is full residency right now with approx.five year wait list. This CCRC gets top ratings so is expensive. But a studio apartment is $176K buy in and $3,728 month fee.
From experience, these places increase rent every year no matter what. The food quality is average at best. And they're never what they're cracked up to be. Stay in your house.
What do you mean by "senior independent complex." Do you mean subsidized HUD housing for the indigent elderly, or The Villages? There's quite a difference between those two and lots of grey area in between. Hopefully those paying for an active retirement community would have better things to do than sit around the lobby gossiping. In the former, maybe not....
After researching and reading articles on seniors who moved to a senior independent complex (even sending in an application to one in particular), I'm now thinking of cancelling my application and staying where I currently live. There are many instances of bullying and ostracism and too many cliques in these developments. i guess cliques don't end with high school, do they? I don't think the hassle of moving, with the expense and logistics involved, are worth the move. Right now, I live in an area walkable to supermarkets, pharmacies, banks, libraries, etc. To give all that up to move into an area where I would have to take buses to get where I need to go just seems more and more unappealing.
Can you state generally where you live, that it's so walkable? That sounds like a dream! I'd love to live in a place that has stores and services within walking distance, with big road shoulders or walking/biking lanes, or sidewalks, etc. I'm in a car-only area. Not even shoulders on road enough to safely walk on.
As for cliques in senior housing....oh, yeah, I imagine that's a big problem. I think that because of working decades in offices with other women, some of whom did the clique thing to the extent you'd have thought those middle aged women were in high school.
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