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As long as you can take care of your self then stay put.
If you can, maybe you could be a volunteer at that community and see how well you fit in.
If you can I would put the application on hold as opposed to canceling so if you do need help your wait might be shorter.
I've determined a couple of places that offer meals, independent living and urban transportation (Uber, etc.) I'd pay rental- no desire or ability for a CCRC buy in, with no desire to leave an estate. If I can't drive...
Walkability is critical for independence (or the ability to use Uber/taxi easily) or good public transportation.
Mom lives in an independent living apartment complex and it is excellent for her. They have somewhat of a bus system that takes the residents to shopping. Services are indoors so she does not have to leave the building except when she goes shopping or to the doctors. Social activities are diverse.
She has made excellent friends who have saved her life twice. But they do have the awful issue of getting sick and dying themselves. We can get pretty much any help she needs to come to her apartment.
However, yes there are all kinds of issues with a lot of seniors in one place. Worst is dementia, lesser is personality conflicts. Thankfully each building has a resident advisor. Just last week, two gentlemen got into a fight at coffee and donuts. The RA was bigger than either of them and told them to go back to their own apartments. Or a couple cheated at bingo, or stole things out of the coffee room, or ornaments off the lobby tree. Mom always has a story to tell.
Seems to me you are already piling up reasons to stay put for the foreseeable future.
To me, those places seem like warehouses for old people until they die. No thanks. I'll stay in my house until the end if I can, even if it means hiring help.
I have been piling up reasons pro and con of moving into a senior independent complex. I find though that the cons are a bit longer than the pros. Plus, I do love the apartment I'm currently living in and would miss it terribly if I did move. Believe me, my research into this subject has been very thorough. I don't want to make a move that I'll come to regret.
After researching and reading articles on seniors who moved to a senior independent complex (even sending in an application to one in particular), I'm now thinking of cancelling my application and staying where I currently live. There are many instances of bullying and ostracism and too many cliques in these developments. i guess cliques don't end with high school, do they? I don't think the hassle of moving, with the expense and logistics involved, are worth the move. Right now, I live in an area walkable to supermarkets, pharmacies, banks, libraries, etc. To give all that up to move into an area where I would have to take buses to get where I need to go just seems more and more unappealing.
I think you are right to not do so. I had read reviews about a nearby "over-55 building", where this issue was described, being cliquish. Life is tough enough without such interferences as one ages. Hopefully, all buildings are not like this. I have thought to not choose a larger building where there is a community room with events and such. Though I am social, I tend to my own business, wanting to have a couple of trustworthy neighbors, and experiencing peace and comfort.
Currently, having lived in a regular (smallish) building for many years, it was discovered long ago how one unit overlooking the parking, houses a couple being aware of everyone's comings and goings, gossiping and having unnecessarily stirred things up. (The male gossiper having used binoculars, has also been helpful to those needing assistance, so it is a tricky situation). Otherwise, neighbors keep to themselves, though being friendly in passing. Sadly, we can be unaware of what could be.
Last edited by In2itive_1; 02-05-2023 at 04:00 PM..
My mom lived in one along with a sister or two over a few years. One of her gripes was the old ladies who sat in the lobby watching the comings and goings of everyone and visitors and talking about them........
Oh, me and my wife would give them something to talk about.
my mom moved into one. the little groups that form are sometimes toxic. lots of gossip about so and so, everyone in everyone's business. they also had a dining option if someone didn't feel like cooking that day they could go to the dining room for lunch or dinner. who sat with who, etc. was like the high school lunchroom all over again. no thanks
OH, gee...I would not have the tolerance for that. It's funny how some won't have anything better to do and think this is the way to be ...and are probably the same individuals whom functioned this way in High School.
Walkability is critical for independence (or the ability to use Uber/taxi easily) or good public transportation.
Mom lives in an independent living apartment complex and it is excellent for her. They have somewhat of a bus system that takes the residents to shopping. Services are indoors so she does not have to leave the building except when she goes shopping or to the doctors. Social activities are diverse.
She has made excellent friends who have saved her life twice. But they do have the awful issue of getting sick and dying themselves. We can get pretty much any help she needs to come to her apartment.
However, yes there are all kinds of issues with a lot of seniors in one place. Worst is dementia, lesser is personality conflicts. Thankfully each building has a resident advisor. Just last week, two gentlemen got into a fight at coffee and donuts. The RA was bigger than either of them and told them to go back to their own apartments. Or a couple cheated at bingo, or stole things out of the coffee room, or ornaments off the lobby tree. Mom always has a story to tell.
...sheesh, this sounds like grade-school children.
As long as you can take care of your self then stay put.
If you can, maybe you could be a volunteer at that community and see how well you fit in.
If you can I would put the application on hold as opposed to canceling so if you do need help your wait might be shorter.
This seems like excellent advice, to stay on the list rather than canceling, especially if it doesn’t cost you to stay on the list. Hedge your bets.
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(The male gossiper having used binoculars, has also been helpful to those needing assistance, so it is a tricky situation). Otherwise, neighbors keep to themselves, though being friendly in passing. Sadly, we can be unaware of what could be.
...sheesh, this sounds like grade-school children.
