Retirees Without Grandchildren: How Do you Feel? (parenthood, friends, accidents)
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I would love to be a grandma. When and if grandkids do appear, it is likely be the kids who don't live in the area. So I'll be a Christmas grandma.
I've contacted three area hospitals and been told by their volunteer services that rocking babies in the neonatal unit is not an option. I could volunteer cashiering in the gift shop, delivering flowers, or monitoring the waiting rooms. Do other hospitals allow volunteers to rock babies? Anyone doing this?
I have a friendly relationship with several families in the neighborhood and delight in their kids' Halloween costumes, bike riding skills, etc. But there is no rocking of babies, baking cookies, or reading bedtime stories.
I volunteered as a mentor to a young single mother. She was a hot mess and before long, moved out of state with a new boyfriend and I lost touch with her and her baby.
I could volunteer at the crisis shelter to work with the kids. But I'm thinking that supervising random children is not what I'm yearning for.
I have looked into being a foster mother, but my husband is not on board with this.
Neither of our parents and none of our grandparents were able or even interested in being grandparents. They were so tied up in their own troubles, they had little energy or interest for their grandchildren.
I yearn not only for the joy of watching a life unfold, but would love to create intergenerational bonds that I see so nurturing in other families.
What I need to do is find a young family that is yearning for a grandma.
Yep~ we have grandchildren~~and kids that apparently don't care to have them bond with us. When we were close we saw them only about once a year~ when we went to visit them. If the children cannot come visit we'll just write them out of the will. Then we moved further away and haven't seen them in years. We feel this is their loss, not ours.
Please don't let this stop you. We take the owness upon ourselves. Yesterday we drove the 2 hour round trip to watch both grandsons play flag football. I brought cookies, I took pictures, I was excited to see that the youngest lost his second tooth. If we waited to be invited or to receive pictures well... forget it.
Grandkids were the focal point of our big move/upheaval in our life a few years back, and as I posted in another thread, it sadly didn't work out. As it stands now, I feel I would have been better off not having any children. I have three grandkids that I know of by one daughter, across the country that we will never see again. I also have four other children that may or may not have kids, and will never see those grandkids as well. So, as it stands, now, I feel fine without grandkids. If that's how it will be, then ok.
Not a grandparent as yet. For my part, not much interest in it. I see way too many grandparents who have grand-brats and wish they lived a long way from them. Too many grandparents baby sitting as well. No thanks. My wife feels different to be sure, but for me, I can forgo the experience and still be satisfied with life. It might be a gender issue more than anything else.
I don't have any children so there was never any expectation about grandchildren. I must say with all of the agita my friends have with their grown children, it seems like grandchildren would be just one more thing to fight about.
For my part, not much interest in it. It might be a gender issue more than anything else.
I have an image of men and their grandkids fishing, building birdhouses and model cars, going camping, having adventures together.
Alas, I fear the reality is the guys are watching football and NCIS reruns while the kids are playing on electronic devices and nobody's interested in building birdhouses anymore.
I imagine myself having dress-up tea parties, reading books, putting on plays, baking, making Halloween costumes, fooling around with homemade clay. I worry that by the time I have grandkids I'll be too old to get on the floor and play with them.
I had a great time raising our kids. I want to recapture some of those moments.
As I write this, I realize that I really need to find some kids to play with.
No kids, so no grandkids. I'm cool with that, since little ones are not all that fascinating to me. I do like kids when they are grade school age, but even my nieces and nephews were less than interested in hanging with Auntie. Now my nieces and nephews kids are the same way. I am fine with no grandkids and I can't really relate to the ache for them that some feel, but I hope that the OP can find an outlet for her love. Maybe foster care, or volunteering for the children's receiving home. The receiving home in our area has a respite nursery program for new moms who are overwhelmed or who are undergoing rehab or some such issue.
Location: The Northeast - hoping one day the Northwest!
1,107 posts, read 1,455,122 times
Reputation: 1012
Quote:
Originally Posted by PhxBarb
I only have one grandchild and he is in another state where my son and his wife live. From his birth, his other grandma "took over" and spoiled him rotten and since I lived in another state, I only saw him twice a year. Anyway, there are no other grandkids and won't be, due to medical issues, so I feel like I really don't have any.
!
Can you move to the state where your son and wife are?
Can you move to the state where your son and wife are?
No, sorry I cannot. Its Illinois. The taxes are sky high and the houses are out of my retiree pricetag.
Am enjoying reading everyone's posts. Surprised so many of you don't care about having grandkids. My parents nurtured my two kids, enjoyed it tremendously and helped me in so many ways. Guess that's what I was looking forward to.
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