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As i sat here thinking ;everytime I thought of something on a decision I made;thinking further there was consequrnce that would have changed things I would not have wanted. Fpr example;picking a different major in college I had considered. Then I thought I would never have met my wife with that profession.There are consequence to almost everything you can comtrol i life really.
It's funny, NCIS had their 200th episode a couple weeks ago just on this question. What the expanding ripples of a changed decision would be. Mrs. NBP has been nagging me about it ever since.
As i sat here thinking ;everytime I thought of something on a decision I made;thinking further there was consequrnce that would have changed things I would not have wanted. Fpr example;picking a different major in college I had considered. Then I thought I would never have met my wife with that profession.There are consequence to almost everything you can comtrol i life really.
My view too, any decision that might have not worked out so well also had secondary results that were very positive, and led to a further cascade of positive actions.
So it would be difficult for me to state I really regret anything.
I regret my marriage. I was raised to believe that marriage and children was all that was really of any value in a woman. I did not have many dating opportunities as a young woman, so I married a mean alcoholic I found in a bar. I do remember one specific moment--I was in the back of a limo in my wedding gown on a beautiful autumn day in a lovely wealthy-country town on my way to the church, and I remember thinking "RIGHT NOW I CAN JUST JUMP OUT OF THIS CAR AND RUN INTO THOSE WOODS AND NOT GO TO THE CHURCH AND GET MARRIED." Part of me regrets not doing that! However, as someone else pointed out, some of the things we regret also brought rewards. If I had never married, I would not have had my daughter.
My other regret is that I chose to work where I still work over a chance to work with a publishing company. I always wanted to write, which I do, but not for a living. I made the choice, at 20, based on a bigger salary and more vacation time. I wish I had gone with the publishing industry; but again, it worked out because the career I ended up with enabled me to support myself and my daughter.
My Dad told me while I was still in college that when I needed to make a decision -- to gather all the data, be as rational as possible, seek advice if needed, but then make a decision with the conviction that you did the best you could- at that moment in time. If it doesn't work out, then you can rest assured, you gave it your best shot and therefore, should have no regrets.
That is how I have lived my life so I can honestly say - I have no regrets. I made some decisions that turned out to be less than stellar. I made some decisions that I wouldn't make now (based on what I know now). But see - that is the point. We do not know the future. All we can do is make a stab at "covering the bases" and going for what we do know is in front of us. The outcome may be impacted by things we could never have anticipated, from health issues to someone's death to the company we work for going bankrupt.
I will say . . . I harbor some anger and definitely regret that my husband didn't take my advice at several crucial periods in our life together. I was adamant; begged; pleaded; made my case every way I knew how . . . but he did not listen to my advice. He now says - he wishes he had listened with his head instead of his ego - and done things differently on several important issues. BUT . . . again . . . it is what it is. It unfolded as it did and all the regret (and any anger) on my part about his not taking my advice isn't gonna change a damn thing, lol.
Regret doesn't move anyone forward. What might have been is all a supposition.
Last edited by brokensky; 03-07-2012 at 05:46 PM..
I wish I had a chance to be Peggy from Mad Men, living in NYC, working my way up the ladder. I also wish I had more children. I never got pregnant again after my first and I should have tried harder, sought out a specialist. Otherwise, no regrets. Life has been good to me.
I wish I would have followed a different college education path which would have resulted in a different career path. Unfortunately as I approach retirement- I still don't know what I want to be. This has frustrated me for years..........and years.
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