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Was anything being served besides egg and chicken salad? Vegetables, something? I also dislike mayo immensely. I would have been courteous enough to tell them I wasn't going to be there for the meal. If there was other food options I probably would have choked down some of the chicken salad in an attempt not to be ungrateful in that they were trying to offer up a meal. Is there some reason you couldn't just tell them that you have an aversion to mayo and offer to bring a pizza or something else? It isn't reasonable for you to expect them to cater to your tastes anymore than it is for them to expect you to eat things you dislike.
Was anything being served besides egg and chicken salad? Vegetables, something? I also dislike mayo immensely. I would have been courteous enough to tell them I wasn't going to be there for the meal. If there was other food options I probably would have choked down some of the chicken salad in an attempt not to be ungrateful in that they were trying to offer up a meal. Is there some reason you couldn't just tell them that you have an aversion to mayo and offer to bring a pizza or something else? It isn't reasonable for you to expect them to cater to your tastes anymore than it is for them to expect you to eat things you dislike.
It was only egg salad and chicken salad.
Both children looked stunned and told their parents that “you know we hate that”.
I told the relatives that I had other plans already with the children.
When we returned from the mall (where we ate), there were three plates, piled high with egg salad and chicken salad. The parents looked at us and said that the plates were for us. I apologized and said that I thought that I had mentioned that the children and I would be gone at dinner time. The husband said, “you did say that” and the wife got very angry, yelled at her children (“you eat what I give you!”) and glared at me.
At my house, with or without guests, each person puts their own food on their plate. We stopped fixing plates for our children as soon as they were old enough to do it themselves, which was around 8 if I recall correctly. Before that, they got very small portions of anything I knew or suspected they might not like. (And we often did require them to eat a tiny amount of something we knew they didn't like, but that's another topic).
I would be very unhappy as a middle-aged adult if someone handed me a plate full of "something" out of the blue and expected me to eat it all. It's fine in a restaurant, where you've ordered your meal and know what you're getting. But if someone spontaneously gave me a big plate of something I hated (say, liver and mushrooms)? No. Not eating it just to be polite. It's no different for children; they are human beings too.
None of this makes any sense. In your OP, you make it sound as if this happens all the time in your family.
Why was it even your call to take the children to the mall during the scheduled time for the meal no matter what they'd prepared?
Nobody serves nothing but potato salad and chicken salad for a holiday dinner.
I told the parents that the children and I would be gone. The parents knew that and didn’t object. None of us wanted to starve. The parents knew that the children hate mayonnaise, egg salad and chicken salad.
Yes. My relative announced that we (the relative’s immediate family and I, for a total of 5) were having egg salad and chicken salad for dinner. I hate mayonnaise, as do the relative’s two children. So I timed a shopping trip so that we’d be gone at dinner. The relative got very angry.
I just don't understand the dynamic. What if you just said "I'll make a quick omelet". Would you be barred from the kitchen? Would they get mad?
Family dining and food in general is usually in the spirit of gathering and goodwill. MAKING people eat what they do not like is not a good way to host.
I had an Aunt who made me eat fried eggs as a kid, I HATED them. They would make me gag, and she would still make me eat them. My memories of her are not fond, and I never continued the relationship into adulthood.
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Honestly, I would probably stop going, it sounds miserable.
I'm an adult, I will eat what, when, and where I like.
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Both children looked stunned and told their parents that “you know we hate that”.
I told the relatives that I had other plans already with the children.
When we returned from the mall (where we ate), there were three plates, piled high with egg salad and chicken salad. The parents looked at us and said that the plates were for us. I apologized and said that I thought that I had mentioned that the children and I would be gone at dinner time. The husband said, “you did say that” and the wife got very angry, yelled at her children (“you eat what I give you!”) and glared at me.
Based on multiple threads about food, you certainly have weird relatives OP. Forcing people to eat something, preparing plates ahead of time without asking a person what they can or will eat, dictating menus without consulting anyone, deliberately preparing dishes they know others don't like, on and on. Then getting angry when their plans backfire? Much too much food control drama! Still, timing can be everything. If you only gave a hostess notice that you and the kids wouldn't be home after you found out what the menu was, I can sort of see why a touchy hostess might be miffed. OTOH, if you'd informed the hostess earlier that you had already made other plans for a meal that's different. It's not as if those foods would be ruined if someone didn't eat them right away. Chicken and egg salads keep for a while. Yelling at the kids in front of company was uncalled for. The anger is her problem, not yours.
Last edited by Parnassia; 11-27-2022 at 03:33 PM..
I told the parents that the children and I would be gone. The parents knew that and didn’t object. None of us wanted to starve. The parents knew that the children hate mayonnaise, egg salad and chicken salad.
You told the parents instead of asked them whether they would mind if you took the children to the mall during the scheduled mealtime? Maybe they were angry with you for ruining their plans and prepared the "heaping plates of food that you don't like" in response.
I had to reread your posts a few times OP to understand the family relationship here. You were a guest in a home with 2 children that I assume are not adults. That matters. Perhaps the parent was angry because she felt you were undermining her. It sounds like she knows the kids don't like mayo. Perhaps she insists they try foods. When my kids were young the rule was that they had to eat 3 bites of everything served. Perhaps she didn't want them having "mall" food for health reasons. You shouldn't have planned the meal without the parents permission first.
On a daily basis I rarely make dinners my husband doesn't like. If I do, there is a warning so he can plan for himself. I also tend to plate his food and mine. It's fewer dishes for two people.
Last edited by rrah; 11-27-2022 at 03:37 PM..
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