Is there still "Minnesota nice" in the 21st Century? (Minneapolis: low income, transplants)

[lauralove181mn]

My sister moved down to Phoenix, AZ for about 4 years and when she came back she mentioned that she found the people in MN to be alot more friendly and hospitable. I had no idea we had such a reputation, but now that I think about it it makes sense.

[Jaxx99]

Minnesota Nice is one of the most misinterpreted labels out there. People who hear it think that it equals open-heartedness and a "do anything for anyone" attitude. As much as I wish that was the case, it ain't true.

Minnesota Nice means that we don't have an edge like they do in some parts of the country, and that we try to carry out our actions in a courteous manner.

Those labels are just asking for trouble. I've been to the land of "Southern Hospitality" where I've run into some kniving and dishonest pains-in-the-u know what, and I've been to the land of "hard and callous" east coasters where I've met oversensitive, spineless whimps. Some of the most hard-core, environmentally insensitive people I've ever met are from the granola, hippie area of Oregon.

Either way, you should be careful not to generalize. By basically saying that "All Minnesotans only hang out with people they've known their whole life, and don't have time for new people", it is a big insult to people like me who reach out to newcomers and try to make friends with people based on their interests and personalities, not where they grew up. In the past year, we've welcomed several couples / families into our home who were new to the state, and I would be grateful if someday I can consider them my close friends. Just know that your generalizations don't apply to everyone.

[LuvMN27]

I am a SE MN native and have lived hear 40 years. I travel a TON and feel I have a pretty good perspective on this MN nice issue. I agree with many of the posts saying Minnesotans aren't necesarily "nice" and I wish who ever thought of that catch phrase would explain themselves.

But in our defense, I've been many places where people are rude, much more rude than I've EVER experienced in MN. My parents winter each year in AZ and can't wait to get back to MN where people will talk to you. While down there they run into people who are from NE, Iowa and WI who are also very friendly and seem to be the only 'strangers' who will strike up a conversation with them. My opinion is that people are very different from each other in every part of the US. The South, West Coast, East Coast, Mid-West... we all have our expectations of what we think people should be like and it's based largely on how we grew up. Nobody is right, nobody is wrong, it's just how it is.

As far as not making friends. Most of my friends ARE from out-of-state we get together often, but I also have my family here who I spend time with too. Midwesterners are very family based and those from other areas don't understand that. I have heard the Twin Cities area is really tough of outsiders (even on fellow Minnesotans who grew up outside the Twin Cities area), but please don't bunch all of us Minnesotans in that category. I love meeting people from other parts of the country! I learn a lot from then and find them a blast to hang out with!!

I guess my only suggestion to all of you who find us Minnesotans so annoying, is to move somewhere that you will be happy. Life is too short.

[sat832]

Those of us from the East are VERY family based as well so I won't generalize that to a midwestern value. Family is most important from my native Pittsburgh.

I guess I haven't been lucky enough to meet the minnesotans that are actually interested in getting to be friends with an "outsider." The ones I know, are not. And the ones I have met are unfortuntely very pretensious(sp), boostiful and down right rude in how they judge others. My new neighborhood is full of "native" Minnesotans and I've never met such a bunch of gossipers and judgemental people. It's awful. So I guess I just haven't looked in the right places to find the folks that are really interested in meeting and being friends with those of us from elsewhere (and it's been 9yrs.)

[golfgal]

Originally Posted by kim825

Those of us from the East are VERY family based as well so I won't generalize that to a midwestern value. Family is most important from my native Pittsburgh.

I guess I haven't been lucky enough to meet the minnesotans that are actually interested in getting to be friends with an "outsider." The ones I know, are not. And the ones I have met are unfortuntely very pretensious(sp), boostiful and down right rude in how they judge others. My new neighborhood is full of "native" Minnesotans and I've never met such a bunch of gossipers and judgemental people. It's awful. So I guess I just haven't looked in the right places to find the folks that are really interested in meeting and being friends with those of us from elsewhere (and it's been 9yrs.)

It is interesting that you have had this experience. While I am from MN I have moved around the state some so I was an "outsider" in those new towns and have never run into neighborhoods full of people like this, yes, an occasional person here and there, but not neighborhoods full.

[Lindenin]

As a native but someone who has spent much time away from the state, I love Minnesota, but I know that the gossipers who Kim describes exist. I don't consider those people the ones we are trying to identify with the meaning of a true "minnesotan", and I believe they are in the minority.

[CarolL]

I read this thread with interest. We are Midwesterners (from IL) who were transplanted East for two years (suburban NYC actually). In those two years, we made almost no friends. We joined in, went to church, volunteered at school, etc. Our neighbors could be sitting on their porch but wouldn't even wave at us when we walked down the driveway to get the mail. Finally a friendly family moved in across the street, and we struck up a neighborly relationship. Our only friendship in two years! They were from Minneapolis!

(BTW, I'm not judging an entire region of the US by our experience. We lived in a very transient area. People were always moving in and out. I'm sure they just didn't want to get involved, only to have to move away.)

[sfw1979]

Originally Posted by lauralove181mn

My sister moved down to Phoenix, AZ for about 4 years and when she came back she mentioned that she found the people in MN to be alot more friendly and hospitable. I had no idea we had such a reputation, but now that I think about it it makes sense.

We lived in Arizona for three years and although I miss it and do like AZ, your sister was right. It's just defferent. Neighbors don't really know neighbors. Of course I don't mean all families or people in AZ, it's just in my opinion AZ people tend to keep to themselves more. And as far as school, again this is my opinion, but it seemed like parents didn't get as involved in thier children school.

[nick is rulz]

Minnesota Passive Agressive is a more accurate term.

[Evlevo]

Originally Posted by QueenBee

I feel there is a difference between "nice" and "friendly". Nice is when people smile, wave, or say "hello" but aren't necessarily interested in getting to know you better. Friendly is when someone engages in small talk with someone new and has a genuine interest in knowing something about that person. I think you will find a lot of nice people in Minnesota, but maybe not so many friendly ones. I have heard from many people who relocated here from elsewhere that it is very difficult to make friends; a neighbor of mine told me she thought for the first year she lived here that the "Minnesota Nice" expression was tongue-in-cheek . Minnesotans by and large have their circle of friends and family and aren't always interested in adding to it.

I have friends in your state... that is exactly what they have said!