I need to comment on this MN Nice=fake thing (renting, homes)

[What!]

Originally Posted by kemachs

Also, whereas people from Chicago/Milwaukee seem to be upfront about things, here they believe in Minnesota "fake"... er "nice." Nice to your face, not so much behind your back. Probably why visitors think Minnesotans are so gosh dang friendly? Not to say all the people share that attitude, I have met some very cool people here, I'm just talking overall.

I keep running into the same comments about the Midwest and MN: "people are nice to your face but unfriendly behind your back."

Correct me if I am wrong, but isn't that everywhere? This is the same statement people say about the British and the Japanese. They say the British will support you up front but be catty behind your back. Japanese people may like you up front but they keep away from you because you're a gaijin, a foreigner. I've heard the same thing about the Swiss, Germans, and tons of other places. The MN detractors seem to think Minnesotans are overall like that and we have a monopoly on the "nice to your face, unfriendly behind your back behavior". We do not. You'll find people like this in Chicago, L.A., NYC, Paris, Rome, New Dehli, and all over the world in droves.

I think MN get the worst of the hate because we are not upfront people. Because we are generally reserved and quiet, it is easier to think we are more cliquish than people who are in your face. In reality people who are in your face can sometimes be in your face and rude because they are being cliquish and guarding themselves from newcomers. In your face is not more honest than being reserved. Some of the fakest people are the most loud-mouthed braggarts who think they need to spew their opinions whenever they please. People like that are just trying to hide their insecurities as much as a quiet, reserved person.

People need to remember that Minnesotans aren't faker than anyone else. It is just easier to perceive a quiet person as being fake as opposed to a loud person. Loud people are much better at hiding their fakeness than quiet people.

Lastly, it is human behavior to be nice in your face and unfriendly behind your back; it is not MN behavior. If people understood this more they would understand MN better.

Any remarks?

[crazyme4878]

You put it so perfectly. I haven't been able to understand some vehement posts against the MN nice. Maybe they are upset because MN is known for niceness and the posters' original homestates aren't? But you are very right. Maybe it should be MN chattiness? Meaning, people will strike up small talk and say hi to you on the street. Thats how I see it. Not MN nice as in "we welcome you with open arms and want to be your new best friend."

[ozzie679]

We're not faker than everyone else...we are better than everyone else. Just look how high our state and cities if every poll imaginable. We are better, smarter, and richer than most states. We just aren't showy about it. Most of the negative comments on the message board are seething with jealously.

Jah, it's cold here. But remember...we are better than you.

[chilaili]

No, it isn't everywhere. It's MUCH more prevalent in the Midwest. I lived there for 10 years before moving to Colorado where people are a lot more upfront about their likes and dislikes. And if you've never been to London, trust me, that would be a serious eye-opener to anyone from Minnesota where complete strangers will treat you like dirt and tell you how stupid you are before you've even drawn breath. So refreshing!

[aluminumpork]

Originally Posted by chilaili

where complete strangers will treat you like dirt and tell you how stupid you are before you've even drawn breath

Rigghhttt, that's exactly what I'm looking for in a place to live!

[rcsteiner]

Originally Posted by chilaili

No, it isn't everywhere. It's MUCH more prevalent in the Midwest. I lived there for 10 years before moving to Colorado where people are a lot more upfront about their likes and dislikes. And if you've never been to London, trust me, that would be a serious eye-opener to anyone from Minnesota where complete strangers will treat you like dirt and tell you how stupid you are before you've even drawn breath. So refreshing!

I didn't encounter that *at all* in London when I was there in 1996. FWIW.

[aperfectbass]

This is a joke thread, right?

[ciJay]

Below is something I posted on the Parenting thread, but my wife and I were discussing how this is so typical of a Minnesotan to 1) even care about a naked 3 year old, and 2) to confront us in such a passive/aggressive (Minnesota nice) way:


So my wife and I were at the park with my 2 & 3 year olds, we were the only people there. My 3 year od daughter pee'd here pants, and we didn't have replacements along, so we took her pants & undies off, and told her she had to sit on the park bench with us until her brother was ready to go.

Along comes a woman with her 13 year old son and 3 year old daughter. She says to us, "By the way, my 13 year old son is with me." My wife and I just look at her like, "and?". Then she says, "We don't even let him see my 3 year old daughter naked."

Of course we respect her wishes and leave the park, but were quite put off by how uptight she seemed to be.

[Clifford63]

Originally Posted by ozzie679

We're not faker than everyone else...we are better than everyone else. Just look how high our state and cities if every poll imaginable. We are better, smarter, and richer than most states. We just aren't showy about it. Most of the negative comments on the message board are seething with jealously.

Jah, it's cold here. But remember...we are better than you.

All the men are handsome, the women are good looking, and the childeren are above average.

Something like that anywhooo.

[ozzie679]

Originally Posted by ciJay

Below is something I posted on the Parenting thread, but my wife and I were discussing how this is so typical of a Minnesotan to 1) even care about a naked 3 year old, and 2) to confront us in such a passive/aggressive (Minnesota nice) way:


So my wife and I were at the park with my 2 & 3 year olds, we were the only people there. My 3 year od daughter pee'd here pants, and we didn't have replacements along, so we took her pants & undies off, and told her she had to sit on the park bench with us until her brother was ready to go.

Along comes a woman with her 13 year old son and 3 year old daughter. She says to us, "By the way, my 13 year old son is with me." My wife and I just look at her like, "and?". Then she says, "We don't even let him see my 3 year old daughter naked."

Of course we respect her wishes and leave the park, but were quite put off by how uptight she seemed to be.

I think the lady was uptight in how she approached you. She should have ignored the situation.

But don't you think it' a little weird to leave a naked three year old on a park bench? IMHO you should not have done that.