Is It Really That Hard to Make Friends in Minnesota? (Miltona: school, living)

[golfgal]

If you go to every other state/city board on this site you get the same question asked over and over again and you get the same answers, yes and no. It isn't harder or easier to make friends in MN then anywhere else. It all comes down to what you put into it. It also somewhat depends on where you end up living. Some neighborhoods are better then others at connecting with new people, organizing events for neighbors, etc. It all comes down to having a 'planner' in your neighborhood.

If you sit back and wait for someone to be your friend, yes, it is hard to make friends, if you are outgoing, organize some get togethers, etc, you are going to make friends.

[fitra]

I'm not from Minnesota, but I have lived here for 5 years. My neighbors have NEVER helped me snowblow my drive. And I was stuck in the snow one night, really late..several of my neighbors drove by me and just looked. So, no Minnesota nice there. Yeah, they wave as they are trecking back in the house.

[green_mariner]

I don't mind shoveling my own driveway, but a little help is welcolmed.

[fitra]

It is not hard to "make" friends @ work in Minnesota. BUT if you are used to those friends inviting you to a bar-b-q or hanging out, then you will not like what you get here in Minnesota. They will definitely invite you out to the bar for some drinks....every freaking weekend. But don't look for an invite to their house.

Most of the people I hang out with are from other states. We just naturally flock to each other. Everyone has the same complaint. I have found that the native Minnesotans that have lived elswhere and returned here are alot more welcoming. Don't get me wrong, Minnesota is bearable. But, in comparison to my move to Atlanta 11 years ago and the # of friendships I made there in five years compared to here...no contest.

I think it's just that Minnesotans "prefer" to stick to who they know...family or friends from grammar school, high school or college. In other words, they are not as open as some of us would like them to be. But, it's not up for criticism...it is what it is.

[kuan]

Originally Posted by fitra

I'm not from Minnesota, but I have lived here for 5 years. My neighbors have NEVER helped me snowblow my drive. And I was stuck in the snow one night, really late..several of my neighbors drove by me and just looked. So, no Minnesota nice there. Yeah, they wave as they are trecking back in the house.

You think maybe they just dug themselves out of their own houses?

Things that you can avoid, things that you can do yourself, Minnesotans, and probably North Dakotans too, take it as normal everyday things. It is understood that you can clear your own driveway. That's just normal work, just like doing the dishes.

If you want to make friends, then you do things other people do. For example, clearing your driveway is a sign of strength and will bring you much respect among your neighbors.

[green_mariner]

Originally Posted by kuan

You think maybe they just dug themselves out of their own houses?

Things that you can avoid, things that you can do yourself, Minnesotans, and probably North Dakotans too, take it as normal everyday things. It is understood that you can clear your own driveway. That's just normal work, just like doing the dishes.

If you want to make friends, then you do things other people do. For example, clearing your driveway is a sign of strength and will bring you much respect among your neighbors.

I'll gladly shovel my own driveway, for the fun of it. Aren't winter sports good places to make friends?

[kuan]

Originally Posted by pirate_lafitte

I'll gladly shovel my own driveway, for the fun of it. Aren't winter sports good places to make friends?

Yeah, I've made a few friends from my training group. But also I've made friends by just sitting on an upturned pail in the middle of a frozen lake.

[green_mariner]

Originally Posted by kuan

Yeah, I've made a few friends from my training group. But also I've made friends by just sitting on an upturned pail in the middle of a frozen lake.

Ice fishing.

[kuan]

Originally Posted by pirate_lafitte

Ice fishing.

Drinking beer.

[JenLee]

I just posted this response in another thread, but it belongs here too:

It's always amazing to me how many different answers people give to this type of question. I would guess that the type of person YOU are may influence the type of response you get from the natives anywhere: if you are outgoing and friendly and respectful; then the natives will be the same.

I do think that (especially in MN) if you seem desperate for friends and company or overly needy it may drive the natives off just as a bad attitude or grumpy personality would. I'm not 100% sure of that; but it might be worth thinking about.

I've found a wave, a friendly smile and a cheerful comment goes farther than asking for help; and a sense of self-sufficiency is looked on as a favorable trait to have. For example: when my neighbors' pipes froze he called and asked if we had running water or if he'd missed an announcement that the city water would be shut off for a time. That was a "very Minnesota" way to ask for help: just asking for information, no panic or any such "Help! I'm in trouble!" type of wording.