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From those I know who lived in Stony Brook's area for college (those who grew up in North Shore Nassau neighborhoods), it's far less lively than it is there but there is plenty of cheap homes that would be way pricer in the western part of LI (those nearer to NYC).
I've heard from a few of the locals there that the school districts surrounding the university aren't bad at all. I do know of two very successful people in the medical field who went to high school in the Northport area.
I'm not too familiar with South Shore Nassau. I know it's known to have some really nice public beaches such as the one at Long Beach. I know they have pretty good school districts too but I think they are on par with most Suffolk school districts. I would think some of the Suffolk school districts may be even better.
Proximity to Stony Brook and having your wife work there could help down the line if you plan to have kids. It's a school that I heavily considered attending. They tend to accept students with A/B grades and above average SATs (~85-90 percentile) I've met people all over the tristate area when I went to college in PA and they all knew about Stony Brook. A lot of NJ/PA residents applied there. They have a really good medical school too if your kids plan to go that route, it's probably the best state medical school in NY and it has a fantastic reputation on Long Island.
My advice to the original poster is - School District, School District, School District. Since you are young professionals and don't have kids yet, you have no idea how much you lives will be dominated by your kids - in a good way. Your friends will become the parents of your kids friends. Your free time will be at practice/games for their sports. And every waking second you will be thinking about them, worrying about them, and making sure they are happy and will be happy adults. Pick the right school district and everything will fall in place. Pick the wrong one and you will be very unhappy. And don't just go on test scores or what others may say. Look at where you and your kids will best fit in - yes, this may mean that you are racially/culturally profiling your districts.
Believe it or not, but the best way to scope out a school district in terms of fit is to just spend some time at a Little League/soccer complex where the kids of that district play - hopefully it is a large multi-field one where you can see a lot of people in a small area. This will let you see what you are getting into. Ask yourself, can I see myself, and my kids, hanging out with these families? Just do your research so you know which schools the kids are going to. Many communities have a LL complex where the LL district boundaries mirror the school district's. Spend a Saturday in May at the complex and you will see what your life will be in 7-14 years.
Great post and really solid advice.
As far as the OP. The stony brook area would be the best fit for their needs, both culturally and location wise.
Thank you for all the great advice! I think we will be looking at the Tri-Village / Stony Brook area very closely, both for now and when we have kids since my wife will most likely work at SB. Although if the peace and queit appeals to us, we may go out to the North Fork. And mosdefinitely, you are definitely correct about Stony Brook being a great medical school.
My niece graduated from Pat-Med a few years ago, took a bunch of AP classes, got into a pretty good college, graduated in 4 years including a semester abroad, and now has a great job. Of course, my sister and brother in law are very engaged parents. Not sure why all the hate on Pat-Med here. A great student from a diverse school is attractive to college admissions officers.
My niece graduated from Pat-Med a few years ago, took a bunch of AP classes, got into a pretty good college, graduated in 4 years including a semester abroad, and now has a great job. Of course, my sister and brother in law are very engaged parents. Not sure why all the hate on Pat-Med here. A great student from a diverse school is attractive to college admissions officers.
Look into Manorville. Located close to the LIE and also to Sunrise. There's no town so to speak but it's close to many places for shopping; close to Tanger in Riverhead, not that far from Smithaven Mall, and not far from the Hamptons, and also close to beaches. It's a nice community to raise a family as schools are very good and there's a lot of activities to get involved in. In terms of houses, prices and taxes aren't that cheap (definitely get more for your $ than Nassau County) but it depends what you're looking for. There's "developments" with houses with not much property or houses not really in a "development setting" that have more property (1-5+acres). Lots of horse properties out here and there have been quiet a few new builds out this way in last few years. Definitely worth looking into especially if your work between you and your wife is between Riverhead and Southampton and Stony Brook. Good Luck!
My two cents...Westhampton or even East Quogue is are awesome options. Schools are great, taxes in Southampton town are relatively low, easy access to both Southampton and Riverhead (which you will cherish when the summer arrives), and close to Sunrise. Anywhere on the North Fork is going to be brutal...limited highway access (none, really), and just all around not an easy place to live unless you work locally. Good luck to you and your wife!
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