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Three weeks ago today, my husband and I were six days into an eighteen day transatlantic cruise when we received a phone call from our house/pet sitter telling us that our one little dog, Friederik had died suddenly. Obviously, I was beyond distraught. I am still numb and grieving. He'd been (or seemed, at least) fine when we left home. Wondering what on earth might have killed him, we had a necropsy done and learned that he had necrosis of the pancreas and that nothing could have been done for him.
In addition to two cats, we also have another dog, an almost 6-year-old female mini-Australian Shepherd named Hannah. Friederik and Hannah were best buddies. They loved hanging out and running around the yard together, or just chilling out on the couch. I was expecting Hannah to be despondent when we got home, but she seems fine, as if she doesn't miss Friederik at all. I've got to admit, I've got kind of mixed emotions about her demeanor, but it's certainly possible that she misses Friederik more than I realize.
Here are my questions:
1. I want to get a new dog, but I'm wondering how long I should wait. I've always been of the opinion that dogs are pack animals and do better when there are two of them, but under the circumstances, I wonder if I should get a new dog right away or wait until next spring. I'm kind of wanting to get one within the next month or so, but don't know if that would be a mistake or not (I mean from Hannah's perspective).
2. Should I get a male again? Would Hannah be more accepting of a male than another female? She is really an alpha personality, has to be the top dog, and while she clearly loved Friederik, she was very jealous when I gave him attention. I could never pet him without her needing to be petted at the same time. I did have two female Rough Collies at the same time once, and they got along together very well. I've just heard that I was just lucky in that case.
Thanks for any advise you can provide.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Been there done that — losing animals that seemed perfectly fine is a major heartbreak.
I’m going to admit I know nothing about dogs, I’m a cat person. I do know critters need a lot of time to settle in, and often a lot of work from us. So if I may add this to the equation — what’s your calendar like in the next few months? We’re going into the big holiday season, and if you’re busy busy busy like I am, this might not be the best time to bring in a dog that you may not have the time to invest in. If it were me, with what I have going on, I’d wait.
But I have a friend who does not do well with holiday rigmarole. And she turns everybody down. In her case — she’d go for it!
Dogs live in the moment and they grieve deeply, but then they move one. Your Hannah grieved and now she is getting on with her life and adapting to her new circumstances
The safest option would be to get a male. Two females can get along or maybe they won't, and after you have had the new dog for a few months is a bad time to find out they are competitive. The males and females seem to establish their own separate pack order and that can eliminate a lot of strife.
Going into winter is not my favorite time to be housebreaking. I really dislike standing out in the snow, watching the puppy to make sure he empties out before we go back inside.
Right now I have two males and one female. The Australian Shepherd is a tough dog and controlling, but the other dog, the Epagneul, Breton, is a big goofball with no political pretensions at all, and as long as he can play and be petted, and gets lots of food, he doesn't care who is the boss. The female Bracco has no sense of humor and doesn't like to be bothered, so she is forever knocking the pup down and biting him to get him to leave her alone. I suspect that it would not go well to add another female to compete with her. The pup just dances away and continues to play, because politics are just not his thing and if she wants to be boss, he doesn't care.
If I got another political dog, it could be a disaster. You have a bossy Aussie, so perhaps an easy going breed would be the best choice, one that isn't going take offense at her bossy attitude.
I have two thoughts. First, I do not believe, generally, that dogs NEED other dogs around. Some do, many don't (kinda hard to say "most", because I don't believe I've ever seen a study on this). Their human family, for many dogs, is quite enough....
But since Hannah does not seem to be lonely at this point, I would take her word for it. Her "word" being communicated by body language. And, since dogs live very much in the moment, I would forgive her if she does not seem to miss Friederik....
My thinking is that you have a dog who is happy. She was happy with Friederik, and now she is still happy, without Friederik....
I would advise, if you want a 2nd dog, to keep in mind that the 2nd dog is for you, not Hannah.
It's possible that Hannah would be fine being the only dog. She and Friederik really did seem to enjoy each other's company, though. We are retired, so it's not as if we're gone all day long every day. We are, however, fairly frequently gone at the same time for four to five hours for recreation, volunteer work, etc. (We have a doggie door, so that's not a problem for the dog/s.) I'd like Hannah to have a companion for those times. And to be perfectly honest, I'd like another dog.
Hannah is not a herder at all. We did have two Rough Collies once, and one of them just loved to herd our cat around the house. Hannah's not like that. I wouldn't describe her as "bossy" either. It was just that she was always looking out for Number One. Friederik was content with being Number Two. And if we ever took Friederik somewhere without taking her too (like to the vet), she would have a total meltdown.
I think that I'm definitely going to get a male as opposed to another female. Thanks to everybody for weighing in on that question.
I’m so sorry for your loss. Been there done that — losing animals that seemed perfectly fine is a major heartbreak.
Thank you for understanding.
Quote:
I’m going to admit I know nothing about dogs, I’m a cat person. I do know critters need a lot of time to settle in, and often a lot of work from us. So if I may add this to the equation — what’s your calendar like in the next few months? We’re going into the big holiday season, and if you’re busy busy busy like I am, this might not be the best time to bring in a dog that you may not have the time to invest in. If it were me, with what I have going on, I’d wait.
But I have a friend who does not do well with holiday rigmarole. And she turns everybody down. In her case — she’d go for it!
Now that we are seniors, we're really trying to have a more laid back holiday season. I don't anticipate a lot of parties, dinners, etc. and for the first time ever, we're not even going to put up a tree. We'll just be doing some other light decorating.
Going into winter is not my favorite time to be housebreaking. I really dislike standing out in the snow, watching the puppy to make sure he empties out before we go back inside.
We get a ton of snow, and trust me, I hear you! If we do not get a new dog within the next six weeks, we'll probably be waiting until spring. I do not plan to get a puppy, though, and one of the two deal-breakers I've established is that the dog must be housetrained when I get him (the other being that he be cat-friendly). Naturally, I expect I'll see a couple of accidents in the house until the new dog learns where he's supposed to go potty, but I'm not going to be as patient as I was with my precious Friederik.
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You have a bossy Aussie, so perhaps an easy going breed would be the best choice, one that isn't going take offense at her bossy attitude.
I think that's a great idea. I'm going to have to start researching easy-going breeds now--unless anybody here can give me some suggestions. (We want to get a smaller dog, one roughly Hannah's size (15-35 pounds) since being seniors, we want to have a dog that will not be overwhelming in size for us.
My family and I had a male dog and fostered several others. Gender didn’t play a role in their ability to get along; personality and size made a much bigger difference. We “foster failed” with a male dog and my boys are fine together. They’re similar ages (8&6) and levels of activity. Definitely do a meet and greet beforehand. Good luck!
Three weeks ago today, my husband and I were six days into an eighteen day transatlantic cruise when we received a phone call from our house/pet sitter telling us that our one little dog, Friederik had died suddenly. Obviously, I was beyond distraught. I am still numb and grieving. He'd been (or seemed, at least) fine when we left home. Wondering what on earth might have killed him, we had a necropsy done and learned that he had necrosis of the pancreas and that nothing could have been done for him.
In addition to two cats, we also have another dog, an almost 6-year-old female mini-Australian Shepherd named Hannah. Friederik and Hannah were best buddies. They loved hanging out and running around the yard together, or just chilling out on the couch. I was expecting Hannah to be despondent when we got home, but she seems fine, as if she doesn't miss Friederik at all. I've got to admit, I've got kind of mixed emotions about her demeanor, but it's certainly possible that she misses Friederik more than I realize.
Here are my questions:
1. I want to get a new dog, but I'm wondering how long I should wait. I've always been of the opinion that dogs are pack animals and do better when there are two of them, but under the circumstances, I wonder if I should get a new dog right away or wait until next spring. I'm kind of wanting to get one within the next month or so, but don't know if that would be a mistake or not (I mean from Hannah's perspective).
2. Should I get a male again? Would Hannah be more accepting of a male than another female? She is really an alpha personality, has to be the top dog, and while she clearly loved Friederik, she was very jealous when I gave him attention. I could never pet him without her needing to be petted at the same time. I did have two female Rough Collies at the same time once, and they got along together very well. I've just heard that I was just lucky in that case.
Thanks for any advise you can provide.
I would let her pick out her sibling to be. Go visit dog rescues or shelters and visit with a few dogs you might like to see how she responds to them. Maybe even take one on as a foster that might become a foster fail (a term that means the foster parent decides to adopt) and see how they react over several months. I will say that sometimes two females can come to blows over deciding who is to be the alpha while opposite sex tend to get along fine.
I'm so sorry for your loss OP and under those circumstances it had to be torture being stuck on a ship and not being able to rush home.
I'm currently on my 4th dog - all have been females. When I took the 2nd one in, she and dog #1 bonded like glue and when dog #1 had to be euthanized, #2 when crazy with grief. It was heartbreaking to see her running through the house looking for her friend. She was an "only dog" for awhile and then I got dog #3 (a greyhound - 65 lbs v's dog #2 which was a min. poodle). Sadly my grey got cancer within 7 months of my getting her and again, had to be euthanized.
So dog #2 was the only dog again until I got my current dog, another miniature poodle. They got along OK but didn't really bond and by this time #2 was a senior with many, many aging problems. Dog #4 couldn't care less when #2 was no longer with us. So now #4 is my only dog and I have no plans on getting her a companion dog as she seems quite happy being thoroughly spoilt!
I say all of the above only to demonstrate that in my experience none of my female dogs ever fought or displayed any kind of jealousy towards each other and got along well to varying degrees. I have noticed on walks when we meet a male dog who wants to sniff her butt, she quickly jumps out of his way, but not so with female dogs, she'd participate in mutual sniffing all day if I let her.
Definitely take your dog with you when selecting a new friend for her, she just might surprise you and choose another female! Keep us posted!
ETA: All my dogs were 7 - 10 years old and had been housetrained thankfully. Only towards the end of her life did dog #2 have accidents indoors. I've now replaced damaged carpet with quality vinyl planks.
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Solly says — Be nice!
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