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Please, no flames about our "parenting", let's just stick to the issues, ok?
My daughter is currently 18. She "ran away" from home over a year ago to live with her boyfriend. She quit going to school, although she had been an honors student. We have no real idea why she left, but she did. We did everything we could, which resulted in nothing. We filed multiple police reports, even contacted Center for Missing and Exploited Children, who contacted FBI. Nothing was done. We were even told we had no business even looking for her and to stop "wasting the police time". This is in Texas. We had to hire a private investigator to even obtain her address!
We have since been in limited contact with her, but she refuses to have any real relationship with us. She did graduate high school, but only after she was issued a court order and fines. She has no driver's license, no driver's ed, no insurance. However, she drives her boyfriend's car----actually, it belongs to BF's mother. She also drives without glasses, although she's severely nearsighted.
A few weeks ago, she was involved in an accident. She was driving, with BF as a passenger. This was in a parking lot. According to her, she was texting, and another car broadsided her. She immediately called us, wanting to know her insurance information. Ummm....honey, you don't have insurance, you don't have a license, and you are 18 so no longer our responsibility. We asked if anyone was hurt, she said no, but she was crying hysterically. Dad drove over to the scene of the accident. By then the other driver had left. Dad saw no obvious sign of damage to "her" car, and she denied any injuries. DD said the other driver said NTW, and drove off.
Well, today, DD got a letter from the other driver's insurance, sent to this address----how did they get our address, when DD said she did NOT exchange any ID? Actually, she doesn't have ID, so, how did they even find her at this address? The letter wants DD to fill out an accident report, the usual, details of the accident.
We told her she would be in deep **** if caught driving without a license or insurance. Apparently, she wasn't "caught" since police weren't called, and no ticket issued, that we're aware of. My concern is, what happens now? My understanding is, the insurance goes by the owner of the car. BF mother owns the car, so, assuming she gave DD permission to drive it, mother is the one responsible for the insurance issues. This is a fine mess. Are we, as parents, responsible for our adult daughter's actions? We only carry minimum liability on our cars. Since DD decided to live elsewhere and, essentially, throw us away, we don't carry auto insurance on her. What should we do?
Oh, and I figure BF mother gave permission for my DD to drive mother's car. It was implied, since BF was a passenger at the time, so they can't say DD somehow stole the car or used it without permission. I figure her "new" family has full responsibility for her at this point.
BTW, DD is incorrigible. She used to "steal" my car, drive around while I was working from my home office, while not having a license or insurance, she was about 15-16 then. She would also steal my credit cards and "treat herself" to dinner, take friends out, buy clothes, then she was always careful to top off the tank back to where it was, using my credit card! When we discovered what she was doing and notified police, they refused to do anything, almost encouraged her on and all but laughed in our face!
I would think since she is now 18, does not live with us, and has refused to establish a domicile with us, and is driving someone else's car with their implied permission, this should have nothing to do with us. I would just as soon see her go to jail, maybe she would learn a lesson. I've told my kids, if they are involved in a crime, we will NOT go their bail, or in any other way buy their way out. Do the crime, do the time!
This sounds like it's not your problem...so don't worry about it.
Your daughter will probably be sued, judgment levied, and crushed financially. Not fun to drive without insurance. This is a very unfortunate situation because it could set the tone for the rest of her adult life.
This sounds like it's not your problem...so don't worry about it.
Your daughter will probably be sued, judgment levied, and crushed financially. Not fun to drive without insurance. This is a very unfortunate situation because it could set the tone for the rest of her adult life.
You sound judgmental.....remember it was her choice, we had no control over the issue, and we couldn't very well get her insurance for a non-licensed driver! IMO, the one to be sued is the owner of the car, the BF mother, who allows this crap to go on in the first place!
All the while, BF just stood there and didn't say a word. Dad went over to the scene of the accident, talked to daughter, BF just stood there with his hands in his pockets, didn't say a word......if it were my dad, the SOB wouldn't have had anything left to talk with, but, then, that was another world,
DD won't get anything except perhaps a ticket. You can sue, but you can't win, you can't go after someone who is judgment proof, such as an 18-year old with no assets......guess she learned that from the trash she lives with.
I am sooooooo angry and upset. DD had a bright future ahead of her and literally threw everything away, all for nothing, I mean, BF isn't even good looking I tried so hard to work with her, offered all sorts of scenarios, but she was steadfast she wanted to live with this great loser of a BF. Ok, I told her, she was making choices that she wouldn't be able to back over later. She's now an adult, and has all the rights and responsibilities thereunto.
I am concerned we may be held liable for this 'accident', but I doubt it. I can't understand how they got her name and our address, anyways, unless she showed them something.....she did have a learner's permit, but it was expired, perhaps she showed it to the other driver? We are nearing retirement with few assets. We lost most of what we had with the various stunts the kids pulled. We are, essentially, judgment proof.
I wonder, does this sound like a scam? I wouldn't put it past her and her BF.
Look at the "facts"
an accident occurs, another car supposedly T-bones her
no information is exchanged, according to DD
no visible damage is evident on the car DD is driving, except for some older body damage, along with other damage in general
We get a claim form from a legit insurance co, with a name of claimant that verifies
The people DD lives with are trailer trash" and illegals, just the kind to pull such
I will simply do nothing, let the party who wants the money to come and get it, I now respond only to direct court orders
yes .. the insurance company is grasping straws ...
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When we discovered what she was doing and notified police, they refused to do anything, almost encouraged her on and all but laughed in our face! 
I tried so hard to work with her, offered all sorts of scenarios, but she was steadfast she wanted to live with this great loser of a BF. Ok, I told her, she was making choices that she wouldn't be able to back over later. She's now an adult, and has all the rights and responsibilities thereunto.
