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I’ve had 3 marriages since I was 18. I divorced all 3. I didn’t finish graduate school until age 40 so had a late start also. I didn’t leave any of the marriages with a bunch of money. Because my dad was too ill to work after age 53 and didn’t get to travel, etc with my mom I retired earlier with part time work in case my health followed his path. I wanted to have some good years in retirement.
I chose time over money as my pension is for only 15 years of service and 60% of my low SS was taken because of WEP. I had my kids young, then went to college and graduate school and then after a coworker was murdered by a mutual client I didn’t want to continue with social work so went to graduate school again. There’s many paths to the same destination.
Your retirement destination will be wealthier I would venture to guess.) When married my income was doubled and our expenses were not plus we had survivor benefits for both pensions. Of course we both needed the money when we divorced so both were rescinded. If I had a crystal ball and knew I would divorce I would have worked at least two more years to 60 and maybe to 62. However that’s the longest I would have worked full time.
I actually ended up poorer in the long run than if I had never married him. I know a few couples that stayed together for money and my husband didn’t want the divorce but didn’t want to change. Money is not that important to me to put up with infidelity.
Last edited by Teacher Terry; 05-08-2024 at 01:09 PM..
M husband hates my dishwasher loading, so I've allocated that task to him for the remaining 20 years of our lives. I say that if you complain about how I do the job, the job becomes yours since you obviously feel you are better at it.
Funny how little he complains lately.
I can't believe I'm reading this.
I wish I could meet you.
Spouse told me the exact same thing about dishwasher loading when he retired.
I was astonished. I mean, I had a life before we met. I wondered how he thought I got through graduate school, since I didn't even know how to load a dishwasher.
I apparently don't know how to "do the garbage" either.
I have a lot fewer chores now, including zookeeper.
Yep, two bathrooms, two cars, two living areas and two spare bedrooms enable a relatively smooth retirement.
Every day, we are thankful for two FULL bathrooms. Our builder was brilliant to do this, since the majority of places here (and in Europe, we noticed) do not have 2 bathrooms.
We have our own living areas and generally don't see each other for hours on end. He's in the LR and I'm in the master suite so we each control our own temperatures too, which is important.
Day-to-day tasks just fell into place after retirement. We both like to cook so he does brunch and I do dinner. We both do dishes (no dishwasher). He does laundry and used to do all the shopping when my hip was bad but now I go with him after a 2-year hiatus. We usually have a maid, so no issues there.
We're both laid-back and easily entertained so don't require much stimulation. We save it all up for our annual 3 months in SoCal where we can walk/train/Uber to everything, and "go out" every day.
M husband hates my dishwasher loading, so I've allocated that task to him for the remaining 20 years of our lives. I say that if you complain about how I do the job, the job becomes yours since you obviously feel you are better at it.
Your retirement destination will be wealthier I would venture to guess.) When married my income was doubled and our expenses were not plus we had survivor benefits for both pensions. Of course we both needed the money when we divorced so both were rescinded. If I had a crystal ball and knew I would divorce I would have worked at least two more years to 60 and maybe to 62. However that’s the longest I would have worked full time.
I actually ended up poorer in the long run than if I had never married him. I know a few couples that stayed together for money and my husband didn’t want the divorce but didn’t want to change. Money is not that important to me to put up with infidelity.
I found out about the infidelity on a Thursday evening and moved out Monday morning while he went to work. I had nowhere to go. A friend took me and my cat in for three weeks and then I rented an apartment.
I assure you that if you were able to retire at 58 you are far better off than I am. If I could afford to retire I would.
I don't know what to tell you. I communicate and write well. I can make anything sound good if I want to so somehow you have the wrong impression. I will let you know if I win the lottery or inherit money.
I'm 62 and if I can keep my job as a hobbled / disabled person in a job that requires me to be able instead of disabled and I am very careful with my money I can retire at 67. I really don't think going on much beyond that is a good idea considering my health.
I found out about the infidelity on a Thursday evening and moved out Monday morning while he went to work. I had nowhere to go. A friend took me and my cat in for three weeks and then I rented an apartment.
I assure you that if you were able to retire at 58 you are far better off than I am. If I could afford to retire I would.
I don't know what to tell you. I communicate and write well. I can make anything sound good if I want to so somehow you have the wrong impression. I will let you know if I win the lottery or inherit money.
I'm 62 and if I can keep my job as a hobbled / disabled person in a job that requires me to be able instead of disabled and I am very careful with my money I can retire at 67. I really don't think going on much beyond that is a good idea considering my health.
That was a very fast exit on your part. I’m not disabled to the degree that you are luckily. I have been in a few bad car accidents that have left me with some physical problems and limitations. It sounds like you were lucky to even survive getting run over. When I retired I felt secure because I knew my income was secure for life with both pensions having yearly cost of living increases.
When I realized he was cheating again I stayed up all night figuring out if I could afford to leave and stay in my city. It took a lot of research about what I could afford and I didn’t keep my house because I would have needed a roommate. I prefer a condo being alone anyway.
I found it necessary to cut everywhere I could. When I researched what income you need here to be middle class for one person I don’t make enough even with consulting. But I am happier than I have been in a long time. The old adage applies: Man plans and god laughs.” I wish you all the best now and in retirement.
M husband hates my dishwasher loading, so I've allocated that task to him for the remaining 20 years of our lives. I say that if you complain about how I do the job, the job becomes yours since you obviously feel you are better at it.
Funny how little he complains lately.
You might want to reconsider the logic in your response because that could easily work both ways.
I don't know how the chores are divided in your household, but if the hubby were to do a halfa$$ job of cutting the grass, washing the car, vacuuming the carpet, washing the windows, or cooking dinner, you might want to think twice about complaining about these things being poorly done or they could suddenly become YOUR job using your logic.
As a kid, if I didn't do my chores properly, I got to do them over again.
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) When married my income was doubled and our expenses were not plus we had survivor benefits for both pensions. Of course we both needed the money when we divorced so both were rescinded. If I had a crystal ball and knew I would divorce I would have worked at least two more years to 60 and maybe to 62. However that’s the longest I would have worked full time.
