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True, and indeed this is why many delay retirement in the first place. But as we've witnessed myriad times, not everyone can hold on to their job. People get pushed out. That can only be expected to negatively affect the relationship at home.
There are other jobs. If you get pushed out from one job you can go to another. Redefine yourself if you have to.
Otter once described that job as doing something close to nothing, having her own private office, having a ton of time off and being able to pursue all her outside activities at the same time as working. I do not know what job that was... Even when I worked at the Rec Dept it was nothing like that.
I think she made the right choice when she decided not to go back to the office during the worst of Covid and rather to stay home with her seriously ill cat. She might have ended up very ill herself or even dead. You cannot know what might have happened.
I think the problem is once you retire then Unretiring is virtually impossible. My BIL did it but he was only retired 1 year. He went back for an additional 18 years consulting at 60.
I am taking note of the Otter example as a reason to keep going at least until FRA. At 67 I will only need to deal with 10-15 years of retirement and not 30 years. I won't feel as though I need to justify my existence. It will be just another aspect of life to get through (hopefully gracefully).
I retired at 58 but have taught an online college class and consulted in my former career. There’s definitely a middle ground to all or nothing.
I retired at 58 but have taught an online college class and consulted in my former career. There’s definitely a middle ground to all or nothing.
My marriage did not last anywhere near as long as yours did and I virtually had to start from ground zero at 30 and put myself through night school and so I did not start my career until 35. I am not on your timeline. I think we had this same conversation the other day. Just because you are a certain age does not mean you can automatically afford to retire. I will retire when I think I have a chance of affording it. This forum continually reinforces that concept. When I was married I thought we would retire at 55 (and we probably would have). From the sounds of it you had a nice marriage. I'm sorry it ended. I have a 17 year old sister who is still married to Husband #1 and she has had a very nice married life (in a material sense at least though putting up with Bob has been something else). I had an intense love affair that lasted ten years and I would not trade that experience for anything (though I wish it would have lasted). A lot of couples are really more business partners than anything else. Those seem to be the type of alliances that last and last...
Last edited by Wile E. Coyote; 05-07-2024 at 09:42 PM..
It sounds like the big challenge in retirement is finding something worthwhile to do, and I concur. Now that we live 30 years longer than we used to when SS was first instituted, maybe we should just keep working...
I understand what you're saying, but for many of us who have jobs that require a certain amount of physical exertion, you can't necessarily do a job at 60 years of age, that was relatively easy to do, when you were 30.
There are other jobs. If you get pushed out from one job you can go to another. Redefine yourself if you have to.
Easy to do in your 20s and 30s (I did it a few times), but hard to do when specialized after 30-40 years in a career, and now you find yourself competing with those 20-30 somethings for jobs that pay decent. Especially if one of the questions is "where do you see yourself in 5 years" and the answer isn't "working hard for the company, and adding value," but instead is "I'll be retired!"
If you new management job in retirement is to direct your wife on how to properly load the dishwasher...
You need to find a new gig or return to work.
M husband hates my dishwasher loading, so I've allocated that task to him for the remaining 20 years of our lives. I say that if you complain about how I do the job, the job becomes yours since you obviously feel you are better at it.
M husband hates my dishwasher loading, so I've allocated that task to him for the remaining 20 years of our lives. I say that if you complain about how I do the job, the job becomes yours since you obviously feel you are better at it.
Funny how little he complains lately.
That's good advice.
My wife and I have decided to partition tasks in Retirement. I plan the meals, buy the groceries, cook the meals, clean up the kitchen, do the dishes and empty the trash. I also maintain the cars and act as a full time tech support person to keep our electronic stuff working.
Oh and I'm also the designated spider assassin.
She does all the cleaning, clothes washing, gardening and she maintains our social relationships with the neighbors. We both devote a lot of time to our kids and grandkids.
My job is to play catch and help teach the grandkids everything.
I retired at 58 but have taught an online college class and consulted in my former career. There’s definitely a middle ground to all or nothing.
I retired from my full-time job and tutor part-time on-line. I also watch a 4-month-old 2 days a week (Our godchild's baby).
DH is still working full-time. We both take off Friday and do a lot of 3 day weekend trips. We also do 2 big trips a year.
When he finally hangs it up-don't think too much will change. Still, take some trips. We do have separate interests. I will probably keep tutoring-I enjoy it and can work as much or little as I want. Usually take the entire summer off.
We are going away this Friday to check out some retirement communities we might be interested in, when the time comes.
My marriage did not last anywhere near as long as yours did and I virtually had to start from ground zero at 30 and put myself through night school and so I did not start my career until 35. I am not on your timeline. I think we had this same conversation the other day. Just because you are a certain age does not mean you can automatically afford to retire. I will retire when I think I have a chance of affording it. This forum continually reinforces that concept. When I was married I thought we would retire at 55 (and we probably would have). From the sounds of it you had a nice marriage. I'm sorry it ended. I have a 17 year old sister who is still married to Husband #1 and she has had a very nice married life (in a material sense at least though putting up with Bob has been something else). I had an intense love affair that lasted ten years and I would not trade that experience for anything (though I wish it would have lasted). A lot of couples are really more business partners than anything else. Those seem to be the type of alliances that last and last...
I’ve had 3 marriages since I was 18. I divorced all 3. I didn’t finish graduate school until age 40 so had a late start also. I didn’t leave any of the marriages with a bunch of money. Because my dad was too ill to work after age 53 and didn’t get to travel, etc with my mom I retired earlier with part time work in case my health followed his path. I wanted to have some good years in retirement.
I chose time over money as my pension is for only 15 years of service and 60% of my low SS was taken because of WEP. I had my kids young, then went to college and graduate school and then after a coworker was murdered by a mutual client I didn’t want to continue with social work so went to graduate school again. There’s many paths to the same destination.
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